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44 M Providence, RI

I’m looking for

  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:21pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly vegetarian
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Finnish (Okay), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Before you message me: I'm only interested in people who are neither gay nor straight for any sort of relationship beyond the platonic. Also, I'm not your "Daddy". OK, please continue with our regularly scheduled profile...


Hey folks,

I've had my profile pretty much blank for several months while I've had other things to do. Actually, I still do have a lot more on my plate than there's really room for, but that's what this year's been all about.

So, what's my story? Well, I'm in between in all sorts of ways these days. Liminal even. I'm in between careers, having had to tack back towards doing IT after moving back to the States from the UK (in late 2012) to tide myself over and to absorb the costs of moving. I'm in between places, as I know that Providence isn't really somewhere I want to settle in. I only moved here for a job in October of last year. And I'm in something of a social limbo here in Providence while most of my social circles are elsewhere and simultaneously kept on life support and mediated poorly by the horrors that are facebook and google plus.

So that's where I am now. I'm also currently giving a lot of energy over to an online certificate program in GIS, which I am finding to be fascinating, challenging and infuriating both serially and in parallel. That's what most of this year is about for me, really. That and hunting for a grad school berth (at my age? Yeah, I know).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
And I know, more or less, where I'm going. If I don't get into a PhD program with a hefty stipend, I'm going to give up on that idea and just start looking for an archaeology job somewhere in the US. I've got the qualifications for that and the experience and plenty of friends in the industry, so I'm fairly confident that I can land something. I'm very much looking forward to getting out of IT for good, although I fear I'll somehow turn into an IT expert for archaeological organizations.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
What am I good at? Troubleshooting. Figuring shit out. This is the primary skill that's lead to my success (much as I don't like the work) as a system administrator in all sorts of roles. It's also served me well as a shovel bum when I was doing archaeology work in London. It's partly skill, partly a certain turn of thought and a big part of being a really stubborn cuss when presented with a problem that I'm responsible for solving.

I'm also quite good with a mattock. If you need a couple square meters of clay hacked out in a short period of time, I'm your guy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oh, it's shibboleth time! Well, then. I keep hearing from friends that they actually find interesting people by searching for the absolutely nerdiest things that they're into, and so I shall simply seed this space with search bait. Below are a number of games, bands, movies and what have you that I dearly love for one reason or another. I'm not trying to be hipster obscure here, just hoping to attract nerds of a feather. Especially with the gaming stuff, if you recognize things, you'll probably get a good idea of where I'm coming from and my place in the taxonomy of nerds (and it's not a hierarchical kind of taxonomy, mind, so feel free to enjoy whatever you enjoy!)

I really don't expect anyone to read through this. This is tag/search bait.

Fiasco, Monster Hearts (although I am utterly over playing it cold with folks at cons), Cthulhu Invictus, Prime Time Adventures, Dogs in the Vineyard, Heroine, Nordic Larp, American Jerkform, Microscope, Lady Blackbird, Witch: The Road to Lindesfarne, Urban Shadows, Dungeon World, Carolina Death Crawl, Grey Ranks, My Life with Master, Sagas of the Icelanders

Buckaroo Banzai, AtLA, The Tick, Aoi Hana, Shoujo Kakume Utena, Zero Effect, Ultraman, Muppets, Babylon 5, Oglaf

Dhalgren, Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand, Love and Rockets (the comics), Kraken, The Privilege of the Sword, Earth Logic, Use of Weapons,

Emma Goldman, China Mieville, Samuel R. Delany, Robert Sawyer, N.K. Jemisin, Nnedi Okorafor, Umberto Eco, Italo Calvino, Vladimir Nabokov, Jane linskold, Gilbert & Jaime Hernandez, Kurt Busiek, Lauren Faust, Osamu Tezuka, Diane Duane, Alison Bechdel, Kate Beaton, Ian M. Banks, Nina Paley

Billy Bragg, Woody Guthrie, 2NE1, Stereopony, Trip Shakespeare, Shonen Knife, Hevisaurus, Girlyman, Alabama Shakes, Arthur Lee & Love, Sixto Rodruiguez, Morphine, Robyn Hitchcock, Annette Henshaw
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
So, I've been single for a couple years now, after ending a thirteen year partnership. I'm finding that living alone agrees with me, with the proviso that by 'alone' I mean 'with cats', but I would still like to have another partner some day. I have a couple of good friends back in NYC (the home of my heart, that city) who seem to have a pretty good relationship and which seems to work along the lines that I think might suit me best. They're very close and do a shit ton of stuff together, but they still both have their own places. So, there's that. On the other hand, I've quite self aware enough to know that I can easily fall for someone really hard in the right circumstances. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What I do know is that I need to limit my dating pool to those of you who are non-binary queer, i.e. not straight folks nor gay folks. It'd be nice if OKC were better about facilitating that kind of thing, but I hear things are getting better (I know someone on the inside).

Oh, and... So, I'm probably going to show up as a good match for poly folks. Here's another place I get to be liminal! I've been involved in some poly relationships and navigated those just fine, but I've also been happily monogamous. In fact, I find that a lot easier. My last long term relationship was, in theory, polyamorous, but was in practice utterly monogamous. Neither of us had the time or inclination to make an effort and were pretty happy with our situation. Neither fish nor fowl, I'm afraid. So it goes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
This year? I'm finishing an assignment for my online cert. program, most like.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Message me if you like. As per above, if you're straight or gay, you're not someone I'm going to be interested in romantically or make-outily, but hanging out over beers and squeeing over the current season of Korra? Sure!