Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


45 Providence, RI Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 33-50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 4:22pm
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
A little extra
Special Diet
Buddhism but it’s not important
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
Has cats
English (Fluently), Finnish (Somewhat), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've been single now for almost three years and there's a lot I enjoy about it, but I miss having someone around to share stupid in-jokes with and who would sing to my cats with me and shout at the screen when something amazing happens on shows like Steven Universe or Korra.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've been living in Providence for a year and some change now. It's a nice little city, but I hadn't really developed any roots here, as I spent most of last year on work and academics. This year's been a bit of an improvement on that as I've managed to expand my circle of gaming friends enough that we can reach a quorum fairly easily now.

I've bounced around a bit in the past decade or so. I lived in NYC for most of the 2000s, moved to England to get a Masters in 2008 in Bristol, moved to London in 2012 and then jumped back to NYC after my ex and I agreed to split up at the end of that year. The move to Providence was prompted by a job offer. I'm doing IT for a local university. That's been pretty good, but for family reasons I'm now starting to look at moving back to Michigan, but I'm not in any hurry to do that.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm good at troubleshooting and I'm good with a mattock. If you need a few square meters of clay hacked out of the ground, come find me.

And while I'm a shit Buddhist, I do keep on working at it and have gotten better at practicing loving kindness in my daily life, although I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be.

Oh, and I have ascended in Nethack a few times. @
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oh, it's shibboleth time! Well, then. I keep hearing from friends that they actually find interesting people by searching for the absolutely nerdiest things that they're into, and so I shall simply seed this space with search bait. Below are a number of games, bands, movies and what have you that I dearly love for one reason or another. I'm not trying to be hipster obscure here, just hoping to attract nerds of a feather. Especially with the gaming stuff, if you recognize things, you'll probably get a good idea of where I'm coming from and my place in the taxonomy of nerds (and it's not a hierarchical kind of taxonomy, mind, so feel free to enjoy whatever you enjoy!)

Played and Love: Fiasco, Monster Hearts (although I am utterly over playing it cold with folks at cons), Cthulhu Invictus, Prime Time Adventures, Dogs in the Vineyard, Heroine, Nordic Larp, American Jerkform, Microscope, Lady Blackbird, Witch: The Road to Lindesfarne, Urban Shadows, Dungeon World, Carolina Death Crawl, Grey Ranks, My Life with Master, Sagas of the Icelanders, Dog Eat Dog

Want to Play: The Clay that Woke, Steal Away Jordan, Night Witches, Dark, Dreamhounds of Paris, De Profundis, Afrofuture

Steven Universe, Buckaroo Banzai, AtLA, Legend of Korra, The Tick, Aoi Hana, Shoujo Kakume Utena, Zero Effect, Ultraman, Muppets, Babylon 5, Oglaf, One Way, Hark! A Vagrant, O Human Star

Dhalgren, Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand, Love and Rockets (the comics), Kraken, The Privilege of the Sword, Earth Logic, Use of Weapons, Ancillary Justice/Sword, Hip Hop Family Tree, Lumberjanes

Emma Goldman, China Mieville, Samuel R. Delany, Robert Sawyer, N.K. Jemisin, Nnedi Okorafor, Umberto Eco, Italo Calvino, Vladimir Nabokov, Jane linskold, Gilbert & Jaime Hernandez, Kurt Busiek, Lauren Faust, Osamu Tezuka, Diane Duane, Alison Bechdel, Kate Beaton, Ian M. Banks, Nina Paley

Billy Bragg, Woody Guthrie, 2NE1, Stereopony, Trip Shakespeare, Shonen Knife, Hevisaurus, Girlyman, Alabama Shakes, Arthur Lee & Love, Sixto Rodruiguez, Morphine, Robyn Hitchcock, Annette Henshaw

Also, musically, I have discovered that Spotify playlists of 80s New Wave make EVERYTHING better.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm finding that cats, a cozy apartment, books and food pretty much cover it for me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Well, apropos of having a profile here, I've thought a lot about what I'm looking for in a potential partner. One thing that worked really well in my last relationship is that we were both bisexual, and my preference for any romantic relationships going forward is that any partners I'd have would neither identify as fully straight nor gay. That's not a hard and fast rule, though. I'd warn menfolk that I tend strongly to the hetero-romantic, and that I'm a lot more comfortable with bi guys than gay guys.

I'm less concerned myself about polyamory vs. monagamy. I've been in both sorts of relationships in the past and I've been fine with both. I'd tend to lean toward the monagamous in practice. My last relationship, of 13 years, was technically polyamorous, but neither of us acted on that, so in practice we were monogamous.

I've also dwelt a lot on what I really want in a partner should I end up in a committed relationship again. I'd love to have a partner who I didn't just live with or spend time with, but with whom I was engaged in some sort of active collaboration. That could involve writing, gaming, dancing or building a blacksmithing forge together. Or it could be something I've never even thought of that you're into. That was something my last relationship foundered on. We never were very good working together.

I'm also open to simply meeting folks through OKC merely for friendship's sake, too.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm probably at home with the cats, either catching up on one of the shows I watch regularly or doing homework. My times out of the house tend to occur on a Saturday or a Sunday. That's not a hard and fast rule, though.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've read my whole profile and something clicked with you.

I suspect that if an article about the linguistics of shipping is something you've just eagerly clicked on after seeing it here, and that you enjoy reading it from a number of interest vectors, we will get on famously.