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velander

33 M Chicago, IL

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 26
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
PLEASE NOTE:
I am on the road a lot these days, so if you see me pop up in your Match list, or if I send you a message, it likely means that I'm either (working) in your town or will be passing through soon. And, yes, I would love to stretch my legs, get some coffee and make your acquaintance.

Now, the profile:

This isn't a summary.
It's a primer, and it was written with you
-- well, a particular you -- in mind.


I'm a wayfaring wolf from northern Nevada who came to Chicago on a whim nearly fifteen years ago. As much as I treasure this city, I still don't belong here. I'm stubborn, willful, wily, overeager, ambitious, perverse and independent -- all in a good way. I possess a big (BIG!) heart, a merciless logic, a sharp wit, a voracious (sexual) appetite and a strong compulsion to fight for what's fair. I am forthright to a fault -- compassionate honesty is truly the best policy -- and I have no shame whatsoever when it comes to declaring, or pursuing, what I want. I was born at the right time in the wrong generation. I suffer from wanderlust. I make it a goal to travel (abroad) for an extended amount of time at least once a year. The only time I truly feel at home is when I'm on the road.

I am very much a man who loves women. I was raised by women. I relish their company. It is my sincere hope to get acquainted with many more of them in my lifetime.

I truly believe you should save us both some time and read the commentary to my Match questions.

I am passionate, pragmatic and determined.

I have literally been from here to Timbuktu.

Knowledge is power. Enjoy.
www.lifeofvelander.com
instagram.com/lifeofvelander
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I recently decided that I need to start taking care of myself with the same fervor that I take care of others. Sure, I'm quite comfortable in my skin, and my credit score is great, but I'm at a point in my life where I would like to invest more of my time, energy and emotion into people and pursuits that are most likely to contribute positively to my sense of well-being.

Money:
I'm a lab rat. Seriously. But for the first time in five years I have a damn good shot at being completely debt-free. (If you care to dispel all immediate assumptions of what this work entails, here's a condensed summary.) Better yet, it's allowed me plenty of freedom to travel as well. Very soon I will build up a nest egg that will go straight to furthering my education. 'Cause this isn't a career -- just a means to a brighter future.

Creative:
I'm a storyteller at heart, and podcasting is my primary conduit for telling them. Alas, the podcasts have been on a terribly long hiatus, but that's finally changing. After struggling for what seems forever, I wrapped the SUPER </3 Sessions, and I plan on recording new content soon.

Furthermore, I've been challenging myself to get back into writing. I have several stories that I've been meaning to commit to the page for years now, and I owe it to myself -- and my long-suffering protagonists -- to knuckle down and do it.

Community:
I absolutely love bringing people together, especially for the sake of promoting magnificent art -- no matter the medium. I do this by way of The Penguin's Tuxedo. I just had the logo designed. The web site comes next. If you're interested in meeting new people by way of attending theater shows, concerts and board game nights, Like the page.

Travel:
I've spent a good portion of 2014 behind the wheel of my car. Yes, the penguin goes with me on the road. He's the navigator. (Don't hate. Would you actually prefer that I get lost out there in middle America?)

I haven't been abroad in years, and it's been killing me. Top of the list: Burma, Southern Africa (Zambia, Mozambique and Malawi) and Colombia. I look forward to getting stamps in my passport and some sunshine on more than just my driving arm!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Storytelling and conversation. I can talk for hours.

Making a better milkshake. And you can take that to the bank.

Driving for days on end and singing along to every song on the stereo.

Flirting.

Editing, proofreading, constructive criticism.

Trusting my gut, following my head, listening to my heart.

Reading people.

Explaining the gory details of my radical lifestyle with nary a hint of self-consciousness or awkwardness. (Thanks, mojada!)

Being a rabid self-documentarian. (Thanks, belladea21!)

Karaoke, particularly Matchbox 20 songs and, oddly enough, Rebel Yell. (Thanks, jaackiee!)

Outsourcing my love life to other cities. Distance is hardly a deterrence when it comes to matters of the heart.

Couchsurfing. I can entertain foreigners like nobody's business.

Making great mix CDs (e.g., For Love, Lost: A Mixtape).

Laughing (at myself).

Your mom.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm staring at them in a way they're generally not accustomed to/comfortable with.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I can give you a long list of favorites, but who reads those anyway? Here are the most recent picks to win my heart:

Books:
1.) The Lower River (Paul Theroux) - A newly divorced and retired man feels nostalgic about his stint as a teacher in a remote corner of Malawi four decades ago and decides to go back for a visit. He's heartily embraced by the locals, most of whom only know him by legend, but he soon realizes that there might be a more nefarious reason why the villagers are eager to welcome him "home" -- and are equally reluctant to let him leave. After my own dreadful experiences in West Africa -- as well as other corners of the world where I could have easily disappeared with no one the wiser -- I found this book to be utterly terrifying.
2.) The Martian (Andy Weir) - It's Man vs. Mars, and astronaut, botanist and good-natured smartass Mark Watney is more than up for the challenge when he finds himself stranded after his crew is forced to make an emergency evacuation without him. Andy Weir runs with a sensational sci-fi premise and makes it all the more believable -- and urgent -- by way of applying real science and engineering. It also helps that Watney is an incredibly likeable protagonist, the kind of guy that might inspire all the world to work together to get him home (and then buy him a beer). Rest assured, this is a rollicking good read; the audiobook in particular kept me riveted for days on end.
3.) The Terror (Dan Simmons) - Think you had a cold winter? Read this historical fiction horror novel about the Lost Franklin Expedition. Imagine being stuck in sea ice in the Arctic Circle for 2+ years with ever-dwindling fuel reserves (true), lead-poisoned fresh water reserves (true), tainted canned foods (true) and a possibly supernatural Ancient One in the shape of a monstrous polar bear picking off your crewmates one by one (fiction?).

Movies/Shows:
1.) The Lunchbox - Delightful and somewhat bittersweet Indian film about a long-suffering housewife who starts a correspondence with an older man who accidentally receives the lunches originally made for her husband. I won't give anything away, but this is one of those films that reveals that even the smallest acts of kindness -- listening, empathizing, sharing a meal, letting other people in -- can inspire us to make more of our lives. "Sometimes the wrong train will take you to the right station", indeed.
2.) The Knick - IS ANYONE WATCHING THIS WEIRDNESS? Set in early 20th century New York, Clive Owen plays a brilliant surgeon in an underfunded hospital making huge discoveries in "modernized" medicine as well as cutting-edge medical technology and surgical technique. Produced and directed by Steve Soderbergh using handheld camerawork and (mostly) natural lighting, and featuring an anachronistic EDM score by Cliff Martinez, this is arguably the grittiest, grimiest, most fascinating show on television.
3.) Louie (Season 4) - Louis CK is getting more ambitious with his storytelling, and it's paying off in spades. I'd argue that the "Elevator" story arc currently playing out is the best thing on TV this year. (Just narrowly beating out True Detective.)
4.) Chef - Jon Favreau has the Midas touch when it comes to giving his films just the right amount of heart without being cloying. His latest indie feature is high-spirited, smartly cast and deftly written. Killer soundtrack, too.
5.) Moon Man - An immensely charming animated film from Germany about the man in the moon getting lonely and hopping a comet to earth to learn more about us and -- just maybe -- make some friends. Get your hands on an HD copy and watch in wonder.

Music:
My passion for music extends across all genres, but I'm mostly rock-based and definitely lyrically-focused. Of late:
1.) Lissie / Back to Forever - Whenever Stevie Nicks is ready to pass the torch, Lissie will undoubtedly be there to hold it high. Seriously, this woman is a heartbreaker.
2.) William Topley & The Sea Gypsies / Aristocrats of the South Seas - One of my all-time favorite songwriters. His best album in a decade.
3.) Dave Anthony / Shame Chamber - Dave Anthony has a knack for stumbling (blindly) into the most awkward of social interactions. This record leaves me howling with laughter every time I listen to it.

Note: I've had the good fortune to interview a lot of great bands big and small over the last decade on The Sound Of You & Me podcast.

And speaking of Podcasts:
The Smartest Man in the World, Never Not Funny, Radio Lab, This American Life, RISK!, Wait, Wait... and The Moth help kill a lot of time at work.

Food (aka my favorite Chicago-centric meals):
BLAST and Peanut Butter Shake @ The Brown Sack (Both worth living, dying and killing for. Seriously.)
Turkey Club @ The Rocking Horse
Ground Nut Stew and Smoked Gouda Mac 'n' Cheese @ Handlebar
Pantera @ Kuma's Corner
Sprecher's Root Beer(!)
Chorizo from my neighborhood deli.

I love breakfast! That said, I've lived in Chicago for nearly 15 years. Where can I get good hashbrowns around here already?!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Passion, resolve, sex, laughter, passport and music.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Stories/Anecdotes/Memories, Sex, Music, Writing, Travel, Possibility, Consequence, The Future, Friends, Relationships, Money, Best Laid Plans, Worst Case Scenarios
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lately I've been catching up with my best friends by way of a TV/movie binge at home. It's the only time we're really free to get together these days, and there's just so much cool stuff I've been meaning to show them.

Favorite things to watch over the years: Community, Sherlock, Gravity Falls, Apartment 23, United States of Tara, American Dad.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The ending of The Iron Giant always makes me cry. ("Superman!")

Mary & Max devastates me, too, as proven on two continents.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're the playful, sensual, stunning bisexual girl-next-door type who has the self-confidence and silly charm to match her magnificent wit.

What? Too honest?

Barring that, you're an attractive woman who understands that friendship and physical attraction shouldn't be mutually exclusive. I've been through enough with the opposite sex to finally accept that I will never be the platonic best friend. Yes, I can keep my hands to myself, and I can certainly respect your boundaries, but if I'm spending time with you, it's probably because I find you attractive -- on many different levels. And given the opportunity, yes, I would more than likely choose to explore that attraction further (and still be your friend).

What? Still too honest?

You're a compelling, intriguing and appealing woman who actually has time to date. I know, you're busy, self-sufficient and prone to distraction. I totally get it! But if that which you seek is also seeking you, it's gonna be damn near impossible to find you, woo you and win your favor if you're unwilling to first make yourself available. You don't have to love with abandon, or even reciprocate 50/50 -- I can be the lovestruck one in this dynamic if things go that well -- but if you choose to engage me, you should be open to the idea of not only meeting in person but also bringing a good dose of enthusiasm and mutual interest to the table.

And if that's too honest, or too high of an expectation, then I don't know what else I can do for you.

Romantic aspirations aside, if you're an artist who doesn't need to suffer for your art; if you've ever experienced the peculiar shock of falling head over heels for an album by an artist/band that you normally hate; if you relish the open road and enjoy getting lost along the way; if you believe ignorance is a serious threat to society; if you believe the Golden Rule is good, but not good enough; if you make the time to read a good book; if you were ever at one point a ballerina or gymnast; if you long to see the world outside your hometown; if you understand that life really does get better with age; if you know the basics of car repair; if you’re willing to be honest, genuine and sincere with me, and doubly so with yourself; or if you can teach me a few magic tricks, don't hesitate to get in touch.

Finally, this:
The Internet is a grand tool for giving us countless opportunities to engage amazing people that we normally wouldn't have met otherwise in real life. Online dating itself allows us the chance to find specifically who we're looking for in a matter of seconds.

So why not be more proactive about it?

Yes, yes, chances are that I'll be the one to write you first -- but, really, what's stopping you from chasing down your exact kind of crazy? Seriously, if you like me, write me. I dare you.