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velvet-tongue

40 F Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:21pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and very serious about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on Ph.D program
Job
Management
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Velvet Tongue was a band I was in about a decade ago, FYI. My name is Allison. Hello :) I'm moving back to Los Angeles February, 2014.

Now, about me:

I like chickens. I like astronomy (but not NdGT--he's a Pluto-hater). UPDATE: I watch Cosmos now and NdGT is pretty legit. I watch TED talks and have weird crushes like Brian Cox (Large Hadron Collider Scientist) and Adam Savage from Mythbusters. I have two cats and I also like dogs, but not smelly ones. I love crossword puzzles, trivia, word games, and the oxford comma (I'm a member of Mensa). I love dive bars and live music (if it's not Sublime).

I love freshly made guacamole, wine tasting, and I've been known to steal baby jesuses from plastic front yard nativity scenes only to return them on Easter. I recently began enjoying craft beer, and I'm from Cleveland originally.

I voted for Obama. I have tattoos. If you believe in God, I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I went to Catholic school. I don't like liars. I like tall people. Steve Martin is my surrogate father. I told him so on Twitter. Still waiting to hear. UPDATE: still haven't heard.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have to be of service to others, so I'm a call center director and outpatient clinic operations manager for the Department of Veterans Affairs (health administration). I just completed my first half marathon and I recently started trail running. UPDATE: Due to a running injury I have switched to crossfit and clean eating. I am also a comedian and a musician. I have some albums on Spotify. Finally, I run a small non-profit. My weaknesses are churros and Lambics.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Hating turtlenecks. Systems Redesign. Comedy. Music. Word games, trivia, and puzzles. Going to school. Once I'm done with my PhD I won't know what to do with all the spare time, so here I am, looking for you.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The ever-changing hair. My huge, green eyes. The guitar attached to my body.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: Napoleon Dynamite, The Disorderlies, Armed and Dangerous, Better off Dead, One Crazy Summer, Summer School, Caddyshack, Trading Places, Airplane, Ferris Beuller's Day Off, The Sting, El Dorado, The Hustler, Holiday Inn, The Sons of Katie Elder. A Clockwork Orange. Edward Scissorhands, Judd Apatow movies, John Hughes movies, Star Trek II, IV, and VI along with JJ Abrams version, The Jerk, The Jerk, The Jerk, The Jerk, L.A. Story, Aliens, Fish Called Wanda, The Dark Backwards (if you've seen it, i'll freak out), The Exorcist, Eternal Sunshine, Punch Drunk Love, Love Liza, and Beaches, motherfucker.

Podcasts: This American Life. Q. Comedy Bang Bang. WTF. Radiolab. Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Fresh Air.

Books: all of them. My favorites are The Little Prince and Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah (Richard Bach). Mostly a Gore Vidal reader, but I enjoy a Jon Stewart essay or Steve Martin book just as well. Neal Stephenson, Gaiman, David Foster Wallace, and Murakami for light reading.

Music: (add "the" where necessary, except to "the the", because that would just be silly): Cure, Smiths, Duran Duran, The The, Elliot Smith, Jeff Buckley, Rolling Stones, Cake, Bloodhound Gang, Weezer, Kate Bush, Bush, They Might Be Giants, Flaming Lips and many, many more. I would also like to give a shout out to my local homies; Buzzkill Romantics, Blizzard, yours truly's Velvet Tongue, The Displaced, The Q, Spell Toronto, Bad Credit, Reeve Oliver, Jenn Grinels, Curtis Peoples, The Biddy Bums (don't add another "the" to the Biddy Bums), Channing Cope, A Beautiful Noise, Secret Apollo, Japanese Sunday, Buckfast Superbee, Anya Marina, Emery Bird, Emerson Band, Yovee, Evervess, The Afterparty, Hot Like (A)Robot, Waterline Drift, Campaign for Quiet, Scarlet Symphony, Divided by Zero and all the other bands that we've played with but I forgot to mention and I'm getting tired sorry.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My friends
Exercise
Comedy
Music
Helping others
Pencils (I like Pencils)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My dissertation. Organizing benefit concerts. Helping Veterans. Opening for Flight of the Conchords. My goddaughter. What kind of Cheerios they'll come out with next. Writing my next dick song and where I'm going to play it. When the pencil sharpener I ordered for work will arrive. UPDATE: The pencil sharpener has arrived. UPDATE: This pencil sharpener sucks.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing a show, at a show, at a bar, at yoga, in the studio, on a trail run, or out of town. Sometimes I'm on the road doing comedy. I might also be doing something other than the aforementioned list of things. These things I do are subject to change at my discretion.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like to dress in womens' clothes.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like a girl who has Doctoral Degree, Tattoos, a guitar and a secret life as a comedic musician who also works for the federal government and runs a non-profit. I just want a guy that likes Ren and Stimpy and Star Trek the original series that will make me a grilled cheese and tomato soup after having sex that my cat just probably watched. I also prefer taller than me, has a job, has own place, doesn't smoke weed, is fit, smart, and thinks it's rude to spit in public. Easy, right? pfffft.