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velvetjones0425

28 M Baltimore, MD

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:59pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
so after several revisions, i've decided that any attempt to make this fucking thing clever just makes me into THAT guy. i ain't into that shit.

here's the deal:

you wanna get to know me? talk to me

i don't walk around in everyday life with a self summary stapled to my forehead, so why do it here?

the best i can do for you in the interim is quote a george carlin bit, "i'm OPENLY black (by black i mean like 75 year old black - see below), but HAPPEN TO BE white"
I’m really good at
my 'really good' gauge may be different from yours, so this is a wasted exercise

apparently though, im really good at making a super fun to read profile
The first things people usually notice about me
to be honest, if people didn't realize immediately that i'm fairly overcome with freckles, i don't know what in the fuck they are doing
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
basically, if you can't get down with at least part of this section, we don't need to be together. music first and foremost. here's a list of favorites. dylan, velvet underground, son house, solomon burke, little richard, elmore james, howlin wolf, etta james, irma thomas, beatles, stones, aretha, ray charles, james brown, jackie wilson, o.v. wright, sam cooke, screamin jay hawkins, staples singers, al green, fats domino, smiley lewis, professor longhair, betty everett, betty harris, chuck berry, garnet mimms, ike & tina - NOT 80s tina, janis, joe tex, john lennon, johnny guitar watson, louis armstrong, stevie wonder, trex, and as far as the modern shit goes, radiohead, wilco, black keys, heartless bastards, sharon jones, cat power, winehouse, arcade fire, spoon, jack white projects

movies: kubrick, hitchcock, waters, lynch, del toro, aronofsky, coens, cronenberg, tarantino, spike lee, anderson, and all the other shit i forgot

tv: larry david shows, soul train, nearly everything on hbo, eric andres
The six things I could never do without
toilet paper perforations
sphincters
taints
loofahs
grape dimetapp
trader joes fettuccine with mushrooms
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why people use blinkers in turn-only lanes

why 2 years ago i was in the grocery store and saw a thing of Depends and it said "now with elastic"

how long it took them to perforate toilet paper (worth repeating)

why i cant find dr quandary online

my body hair distribution

why real cheese is a marketing approach

why doomsday preppers is still on

where i can get proper falafel in baltimore
On a typical Friday night I am
not trying to be doing the same shit i did Monday-Thursday
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i got nothing for you on this one
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you want my body AND you think i'm sexy......at that point, sugar, come on and let me know