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29 Baltimore, MD Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 3:19pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Strictly vegetarian
Not at all
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
so after several revisions, i've decided that any attempt to make this fucking thing clever just makes me into THAT guy. i ain't into that shit.

here's the deal:

you wanna get to know me? talk to me

i don't walk around in everyday life with a self summary stapled to my forehead, so why do it here?

the best i can do for you in the interim is quote a george carlin bit, "i'm OPENLY black (by black i mean like 75 year old black - see below), but HAPPEN TO BE white"
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
my 'really good' gauge may be different from yours, so this is a wasted exercise

apparently though, im really good at making a super fun to read profile
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
to be honest, if people didn't realize immediately that i'm fairly overcome with freckles, i don't know what in the fuck they are doing
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
basically, if you can't get down with at least part of this section, we don't need to be together. music first and foremost. here's a list of favorites. dylan, velvet underground, son house, solomon burke, little richard, elmore james, howlin wolf, etta james, irma thomas, beatles, stones, aretha, ray charles, james brown, jackie wilson, o.v. wright, sam cooke, screamin jay hawkins, staples singers, al green, fats domino, smiley lewis, professor longhair, betty everett, betty harris, chuck berry, garnet mimms, ike & tina - NOT 80s tina, the ronettes, the shirelles, the crystals, the shangri-las, the chiffons, the supremes, janis, joe tex, john lennon, johnny guitar watson, louis armstrong, stevie wonder, trex, and as far as the modern shit goes, radiohead, wilco, black keys, heartless bastards, sharon jones, cat power, winehouse, arcade fire, spoon, jack white projects

movies: kubrick, hitchcock, waters, lynch, del toro, aronofsky, coens, cronenberg, tarantino, spike lee, anderson, and all the other shit i forgot

tv: larry david shows, soul train, nearly everything on hbo, eric andres
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
toilet paper perforations
grape dimetapp
trader joes fettuccine with mushrooms
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
why people use blinkers in turn-only lanes

why 2 years ago i was in the grocery store and saw a thing of Depends and it said "now with elastic"

how long it took them to perforate toilet paper (worth repeating)

why i cant find dr quandary online

my body hair distribution

why real cheese is a marketing approach

why doomsday preppers is still on

where i can get proper falafel in baltimore
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
not trying to be doing the same shit i did Monday-Thursday
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i got nothing for you on this one
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you want my body AND you think i'm that point, sugar, come on and let me know (see below)

it has come to my attention that some people do not know that that is a rod stewart lyric and not me being a psycho