Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
( The Cliffs Notes ((that will date me if you will not)) version of
the following nonsense is this; I am simply interested in making
your acquaintance and finding out if we can make irresponsible fun
happen, all the while affording you the opportunity to recognize I
am not a complete tit.)
I was born on the banks of Millers River in Massachusetts.
I hot footed it to the central coast of California when I was
I have been in Portland for twenty years.
I have had profoundly memorable lives in each of these
I have had exactly two long term relationships during my adult
I mention the relationships because they speak to my lack of dating
experience. I believe I have something of a blind spot when it
comes to differentiating the cues suggesting - "hey, let's wrap
this up" or "hey, this is a bunch of fun, let's do it again' or
"this is a bunch of fun, but we should blow this pop stand and go
get our knickers in a knot' I am just a little dumb here.
Frankly, I am tired of lapping up the briny shadows of ruin and am
simply looking forward to some easy, bullshit free company.
If I have all of the information I need to make informed decisions,
I am OKeh with just about anything.
I will borrow your fire wood and steal your humor.
I tell good stories.
You'd be interested in a mid-night picnic atop Rocky Butte?
You'd care to combat a cool, grey Sunday sidling about the stacks
of a public library?
You will say yes to a ride on the back of a motorbike while a
summer day plays off of the fine down on your cheekbones?
You have your own motorbike?
You'll humor me with a game of footsie under a table topped with
ice cold cocktails?
A neighborhood walk at dusk, watching the rest of the world settle
in for the night?
A movie? At home or abroad.
Cannot go wrong.
You harbor a genuine sensuality unabashedly employed to satisfy
yourself and your partner?
I will gobble you up.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am contented.
I chose to expend a good deal of energy over the last three decades
molding, executing an existence which continues to reward me with
endless happiness and defiantly implausible experiences.
Today? Yesterday? Tomorrow? It is a quiet pleasure to feel the
ground beneath my feet.
You will forgive me if I admit that climbing a mountain or rafting
a river or traipsing about the ziggurat caste society of India are
not so much my thing at the moment.
I apply myself a great deal to the craft of photography. I have
done it, and continue to do it, professionally here in
OH, now I also drive busses. Children AND drunks. I like to keep
Years ago I volunteered myself to a cult that worships vintage
motor scooters. I apply a certain amount of energy and imagination
to keeping this part of my life vibrant and silly.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cribbage. It's not that I am very good at them, but I cannot leave
crossword puzzles unmolested. I am also pretty skilled at deploying
an absurd sense of humor while in a crowd so I may hide in plain
sight. I love photography and am told that I am very good at it.
Irish exits. I have old Vespas and I am a genius at braking with my
feet, ruining far too many pairs of shoes. Eating out too often. If
I am in the mood, I am pretty adept at coming up with a plan on the
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The radio voice.
Blue eyes tethered to an honest east coast stare that is simply
wondering who you are and what the fuck you may be up to. My
friends tell me it can be unnerving.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oh golly. I adore movies. I abuse the Laurelhurst as often as
possible. It is a winter time substitute for my living room.
A handful that are meaningful to me. I bet I like most of the
movies you like as well.
Dialogue driven comedies from the thirties were a wonderful
addition to the world.
The Philadelphia Story
His Girl Friday
Bringing up Baby
The Thin Man
and then the random smattering of films that have made serious
impressions on my febrile mind.
The Maltese Falcon. Casablanca. Sullivan's Travels. The Blues
Brothers. Holy Motors.
I really enjoyed the first half of Melancholia.
Red. Blue. Do not give a shit about White.
A Matter of Life and Death, I am smitten with it.
Miller's Crossing. Shaun of the Dead. Chinatown. The Godfather. The
Passion of Joan of Arc. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. The
Anything Orson Welles even so much as farted around.
The Conversation. Rear Window. The Apartment ( possibly my favorite
Christmas movie ). Pan's Labyrinth. Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.
Naked Lunch. Barton Fink. Hud. The Last Picture Show. Wages of
Fear. Wings of Desire. The Virgin Suicides as well as Lost in
The films of Jean-Pierre Melville.
Wes Anderson movies are incomparably charming.
Music, the written word, and film are my unassailable pillars of
My old man is a disc jockey and he seeded my young listening DNA
with Doo Wop and Girl Groups and Soul and sixties British Rock and
older R&B. I sill love all of that stuff very much. Bob Dylan
and Tom Waits will be forever dueling rusty razors in the captain's
tower as far as I am concerned. I also like a quite a bit of new
music as well. Truly I do.
Books? To be honest with you; I used to be a voracious, skilled
reader. I have allowed the internet to rob me of my reading
At the moment I am reading Of All the Gin Joints - Stumbling
Through Hollywood History.
these folks: Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Hemingway,
Fitzgerald, Pynchon, Jeffery Eugenides - they, for the most part,
do not let me down.
Archer and Louie are THE best, without any reservations.
Girls. Girls is a laugh aloud good time. Except when I am
Justified is a bunch of fun.
Luther. and, here is a rub; Alice. Awesome, yet bat shit loony all
The BBC series This Is England was some of the best television I
have ever seen.
The Power of Art is the bee's knees!
I like food. I used to adhere to this personal food rule - "If it
is green do no eat it." I am much, much better now.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1 - The company of dynamic people.
6 - The very real possibilty that I will be surprised.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
In a poorly defined way I spend an inordinate amount of time
thinking about what it means to be an honorable person and also
being honest to one's self.
And, truthfully? Someone was good enough to remind me, with
audacious abandon, how much fun good sex can be. So, it is nothing
personal, but I may be day dreaming about your foundation garments.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I met a group of hooligans the moment I moved to Portland. Each
Friday night we choose a spot for Happy Hour and pile into that as
long as the fun lasts. It is not a requirement for me, however, it
is typically the best thing happening within my orbit on a Friday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Besides the common cold, the only thing I have ever "caught" were
crabs. From a toilet seat. In a convent.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You just should, it is only an email.
and, you are probably adorable and maybe, MAYBE we might just get
If I message you it is because there is something I genuinely
admire about your profile.
This being said; despite your profile, you are still a complete
stranger to me and this process is a bit unsettling. Regardless of
whatever approach I may take in saying hello, it feels as though I
have walked up to you, a complete stranger, and shrieked ILIKELAMP.
Who are you looking for?
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