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38 M Austin, TX

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 28–42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:44pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from Ph.D program
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Okay), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
So I think it was Winston Churchill who said that internet profiles are pure folly--I forget the exact quote--but imma give it a shot anyway. I think my friends would say that I'm: thoughtful, independent, curious, loyal, & ambitious. Integrity is important to me. I find enjoyment in little things. Plus I've never had a cavity. Like ever. One time I exchanged "What's up?" nods with David Bowie. That is true. Also, I told David Lynch about a weird dream I had--this is also true--whereupon he told me how he came up with the ending to Mulholland Drive.

In college, I was a White House intern, but then I put like a 10-year moratorium on talking about it because of, you know, Monica Lewinsky. Poor girl. Anyway, I've heard every joke, so shut up.

Oh: I have an irrational fear of jackalopes, which I can trace psychoanalytically to a particular semi-traumatic moment at a highway rest stop in Utah. You should probably know about that in advance.

I'm originally from the east coast, but I went to grad school on the w.c. I've moved back and forth a few times. Am kinda nerdy; into art & literature, movies, outdoorsy things, random adventures, going out, staying in, sports (esp. hockey (ice), football, tennis...). I love dogs. And I think nose rings are kinda hot--on humans, that is--although I am powerless to explain why.

I think that more or less covers it. Please form an orderly queue.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm also in this club where, like... ok, I'm not actually allowed to tell you about it. (In fact, that's the very FIRST rule of this club, as the dude who founded it is so fond of saying. And indeed it's also the second rule. (Which is sort of overkill, if you want my opinion.)) In any case, it's a really great bunch of guys, if you can get past all the punching and stuff. Let's just leave it that.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Falling down the internet rabbit hole and gathering answers to such vital questions as: What were the exact circumstances of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungeon's deaths (the details are murky, but I've read their actual death certificates); Where is the comedian Carrot Top from? (Florida), and What's his deal anyway? (dunno); Is it possible to listen to a recording of Harry Houdini's voice? (yes), and What did it sound like? (surprisingly high-pitched); and What caused the famous Tunguska Event of 1908? (most likely a sizable meteorite, or possibly a comet, though I'm partial to theories involving extraterrestrials).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Both my job and my religion require that I go completely unnoticed.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
movies: Fargo, Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, City of God, Goodfellas, The Lives of Others, Junebug, Half Nelson, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!, Teen Wolf, that one about those guys who go around hunting ghosts and Bill Murray is in it but I can't remember what it's called but I'd totally know it if I heard it

books: A Visit from the Goon Squad, Perfume, The Goldfinch, The Secret History, Huckleberry Finn, The Great Gatsby, The Stranger, Me Talk Pretty One Day, The Pale King, Caleb Williams, The Life & Opinions of Tristram Shandy

tv: House of Cards, The Wire, Arrested Development, Six Feet Under, Carnivale, Flight of the Conchords, Twin Peaks, Taxi, Cheers, Small Wonder

music: Jane's Rehabilitation, Decimal Metaphor, The Narcoleptics, Bowie, Junior Boys, Little Dragon, Ted Leo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Pom Pom Deficit, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Minor Threat, Black Flag, Champagne Suicide, Johnny Cash
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Command-Z (both literally and metaphorically speaking)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
let's all just cool it with the mustaches.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
sorting over the pieces of my shattered psyche
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In the checkout line, I hedge against the possibility of an incompetent grocery bagger by placing my items on the conveyor belt roughly in order from sturdiest to least sturdy, thereby reducing the chances that the delicate stuff will get crushed by the heavier stuff.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you think this prompt is so stupid it drools