books - Yesterday I was always a lion by
Arnhild Lauveng, Haloperidol. My
treat by
Maksim Malyavin, The suitcase by
Sergey
Dovlatov, Naked came I... by
David Weiss , Judas Iscariot by
Leonid
Andreev, anything
Hemingway, business/motivational
literature
movies -
Say
anything,
Veronika decides to die,
The Shrink,
anything Gene Wilder,
Solaris
TV shows -
Spaced,
The Royle
Family,
Only fools and horses,
The
Blackadder,
The Office (UK),
Black Books,
Not the
Nine O'Clock News,
Extras,
The Thick of it
(S1-2),
Sherlock, Ferguson, Wossy, Coco
i want to rant about why i'm not a great fan of American sitcoms
and will usually prefer them to the British ones. By the way, have
you ever wondered what you call a person who rants? The French have
a good word - rantier for man and ranteuse for woman. In Portuguese
it's rantador and rantadonna respectively. Eu non seu um rantador,
mais eu rantu um poko... What do we call that person in Eskimo, i
wonder. Anyway, i was going to rant about sitcoms and it's a rant
on sitcoms you're going to hear. Sitcoms... You know, i sometimes
think there should be an international law banning Americans from
making sitcoms. They're crap at it. They fail to understand the
most significant principle of sitcomdom - the poker face (to find
out how to say 'poker face' in a Yorkshire accent, wait for my next
rant). Take your typical episode of your favourite American sitcom,
what do you see? Scruffily dressed characters bopping about the set
grimmacing like chimps and laughing hysterically at their own gags.
Are you calling that comedy? First rule of sitcomdom - characters
must not laugh at their own gags, all gags must be delivered with a
poker face. Rule number two - gesticulation must be kept to a
minimum. What does the average American sitcom character do as
he/she delivers his/her lines, apart from pulling a crazy face
every ten seconds? They're like Dutch windmills, with their hands
waving in all directions. For pity's sake, why must you talk with
your hands? It's so annoying. The best comedy lines ever have been
delivered with the characters hands along the sides. Why is it so
hard for the American sitcom industry to upgrade its standards to
those of the world's leading sitcom producers?
stand-up -
Billy Connolly,
Dylan Moran,
Peter Kay,
Eddie Izzard,
Robin Williams,
George Carlin,
Russell
Peters
music -
Pulp,
Otis Redding,
Queen,
Ratatat,
Nirvana,
Radiohead,
Amy Winehouse,
Bowie,
Placebo,
Beatles,
Pink Floyd,
Janis Joplin, soul, blues
food - my Mom makes most fantastic oladi stuffed with veggies.
also, blini, borsht and Russian salad always go down a treat. as
you see, nothing fancy, after all, I'm a small town girl. and i
think i'm allergic to Asian cuisine, wasabi makes me
paranoid.
Porridge. Bangers and mash. Bubble and squeak. Shepherd's pie.
Welsh rabbit (rarebit). Roast beef with Yorkshire pudding.
Lobscouse. Haggis. Irish stew. Falafel. Pita bread with hummus.
Bread with Marmite.
Why the hell do we have these ghastly shaverma places in St Pete?
First of all, the stuff they serve can be called anything but
shaverma. Secondly, i think the public are sick up to their
eyeballs with this Middle Eastern stuff and are ready to embrace
the joys of Indian fast food. Where are the curry houses we so much
want? OK, i can rustle up a chicken tikka masala once in a while
(tonight being one of such whiles), but do all those shaverma
vendors seriously expect me to cook chicken tikka masala every day
if i send their grotty establishments to Coventry? They had better
learn a good vindy recipe or two.
