Hmm...I'm twitchy about online privacy, so the trick for me is writing these things and giving you an idea of what I'm like without giving you enough information to stalk me throughout the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area. Not that I think you're a stalker. You, personally? You're a doll. It's just all the other jerks who may end up reading this.

Professionally speaking, I do a little of this, a little of that--but pretty much everything I do is deeply nerdy, in one way or another. I'm a full-time masters student, because I'm in the middle of changing from one deeply nerdy career path to another, totally different deeply nerdy career path. I have a big, stupid dog, whom I adore, and I have an accompanying library of Adorable Big, Stupid Dog Stories, which I try to not overshare. I love music, but I don't have particularly genre-y tastes and I have zero shame about the aspects of my musical taste other people seem to think I should have shame about. The only sport I follow at all is hockey, and I haven't been following it as much since I moved back to LA from...areas where people actually care about hockey. I don't do anything ironically that I wouldn't do unironically, and my hipster tolerance has been worn down into the negative numbers through forced exposure. I generally get along better with LGBTQ people than I do with the straights, possibly because I'm sort of dirty. I like to cook but I'm lazy about doing it. I actively enjoy hanging out with my parents. I have a few pet crotchets that I'm working on in advance of becoming a Cranky Old Lady. Top of the list? Bicyclists who pretend they're not covered by the California Vehicle Code. Bicyclists! There are laws that apply to you!! Find out what they are and obey them! And get off my lawn!

School. Adapting nerd content for non-nerd consumption. Trying to make more friends who live less than five hundred miles away. You know, the usual.

Soldering.

Hmm, first impressions....I think I usually come off as either invisible or kind of a creeper. I'm okay with that, though, because I actually am kind of a creeper! I'm a very kind, sensitive sort of a creeper, though; I haven't had any complaints, even if I probably am thinking about you in your underwear right now.

If this question means, what do people usually notice about me, appearance-wise, it's probably my glasses, since I am one of those lucky few who can make cat-eyes look totally foxy. I'm a pretty ordinary-looking woman, though, especially by the Lalaland standards of universally tall and blonde, and I actually enjoy being forgettable. I have dark hair and hazel eyes and fantastic tits (totally real, by the way) and I'm a little squashy, but I can still probably pin you to the mattress.

There. How's that for public disclosure, huh?

Well, I guess I'll start with music, since that's the easiest. I've never been able to really get into reggae and the vocal conventions in musical theater bug me, but in general, my taste is pretty broad. I grew up on opera and Motown and I play...an instrument with strings (hint: it is not the viola); I had to sell the one I grew up with about four years ago and just got a new one, so I am incredibly out of practice, but I still love it. Right now, honeyhoney's "Billy Jack" is spending a lot of time in the CD player in my car; before that I think it was The Black Keys' "Brothers", before that, Janelle Monae's "The ArchAndroid." I have zero indie cred, which sometimes gets me into trouble, since I work in a field where indie cred contests take the place of penis size contests, which I also can't win. I like Rihanna, I like Taylor Swift, I still really love Panic! At the Disco's first album. Miley Cyrus makes me want to rip my own ears off; so does Vampire Weekend. I listen to a lot of public radio music, mainly KEXP and KCRW (I prefer Morning Becomes Eclectic to their other shows; Eclectic 24 will do in a pinch but you really can't beat a live DJ). I think Gilbert and Sullivan is usually the right decision for road trips, and it's always hard to go wrong with Radiohead.

I have a crap attention span, so my Netflix queue is mostly TV shows, not movies, but I like movies that are (a) ridiculous, (b) for kids, or (c) both. My favorite movie is probably It Happened One Night. I just rewatched Ruthless People, which is truly great cinema, if you've never seen it. As for TV shows....Party Down, Daria, That Mitchell and Webb Look, Arrested Development, Ugly Betty, The Wire, Monk, The IT Crowd, Star Trek...

Food? I like food. I'm a big brunch fan. I love it when people visit me from out of the area and I have an excuse to go get fancy-pants brunch and sit around nibbling for two hours, instead of munching on a banana while I check my email, which is a much less fun but sadly more frequent start to my day. I love being back in L.A. and getting to eat L.A. food again. I grew up out here, but spent years living in deli deserts and places where the Mexican food tasted like...nothing at all, so I'm pretty pumped to be back.

The last five books I read were The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz, Nemesis by Agatha Christie, Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self by Danielle Evans, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne Valente, and The Tragedy of Arthur by Arthur Phillips. I loved The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making. I liked the other three okay. That's actually more literary than my reading lists usually are; in general, I read a lot of trash, and a lot of kids' books. Kids get the best books.

...what goes on in my dog's head while she stares, with passionate intensity, at the shadow her wagging tail makes against the wall.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit is that I'm pretty neurotic about online privacy. Hey, I'm not even going to tell you my name: you can call me Viola.

(Well, okay, I guess that's something: there are still many names that might be my name, but you can rule Viola right out.)

Look, I'll be honest: I'm a pretty terrible online dating prospect. I actively enjoy being single and the last time I was on OK Cupid for any length of time, I'd say about 98% of the people who messaged me came off as d-bags or bores. Which is not to say I don't feel for them; I just think most people try way too hard online, and I don't know if there's a great way to get around that? I know that I sound like a tool when I send messages, too. That said: I actually do like people, I like hanging out, I like making out, and if we get past the business of talking to each other in the first place without epic douchery or crippling social awkwardness, I'm a damn good friend.

All that said: you should message me if you want to grab a beer sometime. Maybe it'll lead somewhere, maybe (more likely) it won't, but at least we'll both get a beer out of the deal, right?