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violetchimaera

25 Portland, OR Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 2:06am
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
Curvy
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Hospitality
Income
Less than $20,000
Status
Open relationship
Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Dislikes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm rather shy and reserved with unfamiliar people. Once comfortable, I'm playful (generally teasing, flirtatious, and irreverent) and my judgmental side shows more clearly. I value those who can articulate the reasons behind their preferences (likes and dislikes, how they do or see things). I have strong opinions, and can be stubborn about them, but not so much that I won't (eventually) admit when I'm wrong. I like that I can change when confronted with a better way of doing or seeing things. It seems to be a rare feature, and I look for it in others.

I have a strong sense of justice, which means I tend to speak my mind when people I know do something unfair or wrong, and wish ill-fortune on those who wrong me or mine. I'm also kind of okay with all of that.

I try hard to be honest. I value being able to take someone at their word very highly, and want to offer that comfort to others.

I'm intelligent and mature, which is difficult for me to admit, partly because I'm not very knowledgeable. I hope maintaining my curiosity and seeking out informative, interesting books will fix that.

My ignorance is part of why my confidence and self-esteem are low. The rest is a result of depression and a difficult childhood. Mentioning these things here isn't a request for help or to otherwise fix me. I'm just trying to offer a clear picture of myself. I know many will be turned off by these aspects of my personality, but I believe they have made me more introspective and compassionate, as well as better able to judge my capabilities and weather difficult situations.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I spend much of my time with my husband, foldedmartyr. I could go on and on here, but I'll just say we're a great match, and I'm very happy with him. Our relationship is open (we consider ourselves polyamorous).

I'm still working on finding life goals. I'm interested in languages, sewing, drawing, and voice acting, but haven't set aside much time to work on them yet. I've been teaching myself piano and Japanese (note, however, that I'm not a Japanophile) with my husband's help. Progress is slow.

I like hiking, doing yoga, swimming, skating, and biking, and those activities are the bulk of my exercise (besides sex). I spend more time gaming and watching anime or movies, though, and I expect a certain willingness to share in those activities from anyone interested in developing a friendship. I enjoy exchanging favorites with friends.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I met someone who told me the first things she noticed were my hair and voice. This pleased me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Most of my reading is fantasy and science fiction. I really liked The Fionavar Tapestry by Guy Gavriel Kay and The Liveship Traders by Robin Hobb, but I'm still working on finding sci-fi favorites besides Dune and Children of Dune by Frank Herbert. Fantasy tends to appeal to me more than sci-fi, so that may take a while.

Movies: The 13th Warrior, All of Me, Beetlejuice, The Brotherhood of the Wolf, The City of Lost Children, Conan the Barbarian (1982), Dark City, The Dark Crystal, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, A Fish Called Wanda, Gone with the Wind, Grave Encounters, The Great Race, Kick-Ass, Kung Fu Hustle, Labyrinth, Ladyhawke, The Last Unicorn, Leon: The Professional, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Princess Bride, Session 9, Shutter (Thai version, not US remake), Spaceballs, Star Wars (Prequels? What prequels?), Super Troopers, A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon), V for Vendetta, Willow

Shows: The Amazing Screw-On Head, Archer (first season), Brimstone, The Daily Show, Dune, Firefly, Frisky Dingo (first season), The Kids in the Hall, Max Headroom, Red Dwarf (first season), The Tick, The Venture Bros. (up until season four), Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK)

Anime: My top anime for recommending to people are: Twelve Kingdoms, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (badly translated as When They Cry), Crest of the Stars, and His and Her Circumstances. Other favorites include: Azumanga Daioh, Bakemonogatari, Berserk, Cat Soup, Claymore, El-Hazard, Excel Saga, The Five Star Stories, Haibane Renmei, Here is Greenwood, Kara no Kyoukai, Kino's Journey, Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (definitely not the second season or movie), Memories, Mushishi, My Neighbor Totoro, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Princess Mononoke, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Read or Die (OAV), Shamanic Princess, and X (movie and series).

Music: I generally listen to anime themes, metal, Celtic, new age, and classical. I'm not going to go into specifics, because I don't want recommendations and haven't found conversations about music to go anywhere except with friends. I tend to prefer foreign vocals. I don't care about lyrics unless they ruin an otherwise good song, so listening to music in other languages works well for me, especially since I enjoy languages. I also prefer music with female vocalists, both because I like their sound, and singing along with them is easier for me. I enjoy singing, although it's difficult for me to do around people.

Food: I used be a very picky eater. I'm opening up to more and more types of food every day. Now, there is little I'm unwilling to eat. My favorite cuisines are Thai, Indian, Mexican, and Italian. I like spicy foods a lot. I don't cook yet, but I love baking tasty desserts.

Games: I play board games, card games, and video games. Not board and card games like Pictionary or UNO, but more involved games that take strategy and wits. Age of Steam, Combat Commander, Dominant Species, Doppelkopf (Double Sheepshead), Duel of Ages, El Caballero, Glory to Rome, Indonesia, Kaivai, Key Market, Mecanisburgo, Tichu, Twilight Imperium, and Yinsh are some of my favorite board and card games. As for video games, I play fighting games (Soul Calibur, BlazBlue, Tekken, Dead or Alive), racing games (Blur, Wipeout, Hydro Thunder, Splashdown), shoot 'em ups (Sine Mora, Espgaluda, Deathsmiles, Ikaruga), strategy games (Kohan: Ahriman's Gift, Master of Orion, Disgaea (ignore the story)), platformers ('Splosion Man, Outland, BattleBlock Theater, Spelunky), action RPGs (Diablo, Dragon's Dogma, Dragon Age, The Legend of Zelda), and horror games (Haunting Ground, BioShock, Silent Hill). Note: Yes, I know there are new games coming out for some of these series. No, it doesn't make for an interesting conversation. I dislike FPSs, turn-based non-tactical RPGs (I'm looking at you Final Fantasy), and MMOs.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My glasses, a computer, a kitty to pet (husband can substitute in a pinch), a hair thingy, a cozy blanket, and pretty clothes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Myself, to be perfectly honest. I'm overly self-conscious, so I tend to analyze whatever I do, even to the point of distraction. I'm trying to relax on that, but it's deeply ingrained. My husband. Food and sex (two of my very basic needs that I love satisfying). Games, books, and anime. How I can do more than I'm doing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing games, watching anime, or spending a quiet evening with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tired of all the queer hypocrisy I come across on OkCupid. For a movement that claims to want to be rid of discrimination, I'm surprised so many seem to feel it's okay to hate white, cisgendered, straight males. It sounds like being queer is supposed to be about equality and each person getting treated as an individual rather than painting them with gender stereotypes, but instead I see a lot of gender elitism and past grievances being applied to all straight men. It's sad to see so much prejudice from those who have suffered it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think we could be friends. I could use some friends. Friends I can meet in person. Please don't message if you're too far away to do more than message.

For me, "friends" (and partners) means people who share at least several of my interests and attitudes. My "Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food" section and match questions are important to me (not that you have to read all the questions, I just get tired of people saying the match percentages don't matter). Fair warning: it really bugs me when people ask what games or anime I like, because I already put those lists in the favorites section. Read my profile, dammit. Also, I'm becoming increasingly annoyed at people whose profiles downplay or hide their existing interest in things I care about. If you do this, especially out of thinking it's not as cool or attractive, expect me to challenge/criticize you for it.

I'm serious when I say I'm looking for friends. I know a lot of people only see OkCupid as a dating site, but if I write to you, it doesn't mean I'm trying to date you. I very rarely start a relationship with dating anymore. I've dealt with too many people who were interested in being "friends" only as long as dating was on the table, and that's not good enough for me. So, you should only message me if you're happy with being friends for its own sake. Likewise, if you're not interested in dating me, the most I will do is flirt, and I won't even do that if it bothers you. We can still be friends.

I should also note that all the things I enjoy doing with friends (or dates), I enjoy doing with my husband. If spending time with me is contingent on not having him around, you're going to have a very hard sell on your hands. I especially dislike it when someone's primary focus is that I'm female and/or young rather than my interests and who I am. Couples: please know better than to ask me to spend time with you and your partner without my partner. I'd like to have more couple friends, but there are limits.

I've found that people who smoke, drink heavily, or do drugs are unlikely to work for me as friends or partners.

While I welcome messages, and will reply to any I receive, if your message doesn't refer specifically to something in the written portion of my profile (picture captions don't count, interests preferred), I will act as though you haven't read it, and your reply will be this paragraph of my profile. Keep in mind that the standard response to such messages is to simply delete them, and you're not entitled to my time. Messages that do no more than complain about this paragraph will get you blocked, as will messaging me with no sign of useful common interests.

Seriously, this is not a high bar. Just mention a common interest or two. Let me know you have a reason for writing to me that I care about.

If you put all the work of asking questions and maintaining the conversation we're having on me, I'm going to get tired of writing to you at some point.

All of that said, I don't want to discourage decent people from writing to me. I'm surprised how much really obvious stuff I have to say here.