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27 Astoria, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 18-32
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 14
Homoflexible, Sapiosexual, Gay, Demisexual
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 10" (1.77m)
Body Type
Atheism and it’s important
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), Latin (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a scientist, writer, bookworm, computer geek, and recovering academic. I think I am well-rounded, easygoing, witty, and a lot of fun to hang out with. Or so my friends tell me. Usually under duress. But whatever. :p

As is probably clear from reading this profile, I consider myself to be an intellectual, but I don't take myself too seriously. Personality wise, I straddle the line between being an INTJ and ENTJ. I can be introverted in large groups, but I enjoy meeting new people. I am a logical person, but perhaps surprisingly, I'm something of a hopeless romantic. Don't take my word for it though — I strongly encourage you to find out first-hand. ;-)

As far as dating is concerned, I enjoy the company of those who are fairly smart, intellectually curious, and who have a good sense of humor. Geeky and nerdy guys are my chosen people. I value fitness and staying in shape and generally date people who feel similarly. Someone who might enjoy dining out, seeing movies, taking long walks, playing tennis, working out at the gym, traveling, visiting anime/scifi/comic/? cons, playing the occasional video or computer game, and having techno-geeky conversations would be great, but I am open to suggestions, and I love trying new things. I should also say that I am a warm and affectionate person, so casual nights in spent cuddling and enjoying each other's company would also be nice. Low key evenings can be wonderful.

I'm a practitioner of ethical non-monogamy / polyamory, and I am happily partnered with a wonderful guy, but I enjoy meeting new people and making new connections. My partner really loves how much affection I have to give, and he actively encourages me to seek new, meaningful relationships. My partner is totally content with being in a "V" configuration with myself and another person, so dating me isn't much different from dating anyone else, with a slight risk of more scheduling conflicts. If you want to get to know him as well, that's an option, but it is by no means a requirement.

There are no limits on what others can achieve with me romantically or sexually; rest assured, I don't have second-class relationships with anyone. Ideally I'd like to settle on an additional long-term partner, but I'm not opposed to having some fun along the way. Also, although I am fully capable of being in two concurrent, full-time primary relationships (and have been successful in this situation in the past), I'm also open to lower intensity relationships with people who might not have the time or energy for a full-time primary romantic relationship.

If you feel like you are too busy for a full-time relationship, but would still like to benefit from affection, romance, and sexual connection on a somewhat more occasional basis — without feeling obligated to be everything to someone — you might be a great match for someone like me.

For a nice primer on the ethical and practical underpinnings of polyamory, I'd strongly encourage you to check out, which is a very good polyamory resource.

You can feel free to keep reading if you'd like to put up with my logorrhea, but you can just as easily skim and get to know me through conversation. For starters, you can ask me how my writing is going, what I think of the latest gadgets or technology news, or whether I have read anything good lately.

FYI, my "more photos" album contains some pictures that are NSFW-ish, so view with caution.

Finally, a disclaimer: I answered most of the OkCupid questions 2-4 years ago, so I reserve the right to disavow any answers that seem disagreeable. I think I have a right to plausible deniability in light of the fact that I've changed quite a bit since then (hopefully for the better).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I was a double-major in English and biochemistry in college. Currently, I am a molecular virology doctoral candidate in the Department of Microbiology & Immunology within Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons (defending my dissertation this December). For my dissertation, I studied the ability of the common cold virus to worsen asthma symptoms. Cool stuff.

In addition to finishing up my dissertation, I own a small medical communications company, in which I am self-employed as a medical writer. One of the things I love most about what I do is that my schedule is very flexible and gives me time to spend with the people I care about.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
First, writing and editing*. I'm a medical writer by profession, and I was an English major, after all. I was also the copy chief at my college newspaper. But, don't worry, I'm not a prescriptivist, authoritarian grammar Nazi. As you can probably tell from this profile, I'm actually quite playful and permissive when it comes to my own use of language. Heck, I even use emoticons. :)

Second, I am a good listener. Many of my friends feel comfortable sharing their problems with me, and I don't mind, as I enjoy hearing people out and providing helpful advice (or not, as the situation demands). Bottom line, if you need advice, somebody to bounce an idea off of, or just a sympathetic ear, I'm probably willing to be there for you. Of course, this gets me into trouble in dating-land, where I suffer from nice-guy syndrome. But alas.

Third, I suppose I should also say that I am a good problem solver / troubleshooter. It comes with the territory of being a scientist. Along the same lines, I am basically tech support for my entire social network, which, for whatever reason, I kind of like.

Fourth, I mean, I don't get a lot of complaints in the bedroom. ;-)
*though, apparently, I have no ability to keep my OkCupid profile to any reasonable length, so take this with a grain of salt.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My somewhat bookish appearance? Or perhaps the goofy smirk that's often on my face? You tell me. I've always been told I have nice eyes too, but I'm not sure that'd be the first thing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I like reading fantasy and sci-fi novels for some pure escapism (Song of Ice and Fire, Lord of the Rings, etc.), and even some gay romance fiction (Jay Bell comes to mind), but I definitely have more academic / literary tastes as well -- you will catch me reading Richard Dawkins, David Hume, Karl Popper, John Knowles, Saul Bellow, Ernest Hemingway, J.M. Coetzee, Chaim Potok, J.D. Salinger, T.S. Eliot, and W.B. Yeats. I used to be a big Michael Crichton fan, though he lost me with his global warming denialism. I also have read a lot of John Grisham over the years, but not much lately.

One of my favorite genres is the bildungsroman (still), which means I read a lot of what is sometimes called "young adult" literature. I feel like it's a somewhat stigmatized genre, for whatever reason, but a lot of good stuff happens in it. John Green is great in this area; his book "The Fault in Our Stars" is pretty much an instant classic. I also rather liked "Will Grayson, Will Grayson," which touches on two themes I find interesting, namely the nature of romantic and platonic love and the nature of authorship (Green co-wrote the book with David Levithan in a nifty nontraditional way). Another favorite is Keith Hale's "Clicking Beat on the Brink of Nada." Cory Doctorow's stuff is good too. And if you're a sci-fi or fantasy geek, you have to read Ready Player One.

To get some English-major cred I suppose I should describe my primary area of literary interest / study, which is Modern American and British literature (hence the Hemingway, Eliot, and Yeats). My undergraduate thesis had to do with themes of ex-patriotism in the works of Yeats and Eliot.

My favorite poem that I can recite from memory is "Spring and Fall to a Young Child," which is by Gerard Manly Hopkins.

I happen to empathize with J. Alfred Prufrock.

Movies: I was raised by my mother, who trained as a screenwriter, and I have spent a lot of time watching stuff with her, so I have a major appreciation for movies in general. There aren't many kinds of movies I'll refuse to watch, though I have to admit funky art house films-that-are-trying-too-hard aren't my favorite thing. A random-ish selection of my favorite movies might include Get Real, Annie Hall, When Harry Met Sally, North by Northwest, Star Wars: A New Hope, Ghostbusters, The Money Pit, Jurrasic Park, The Social Network, Dogma, Gattaca, Midnight in Paris, Mysterious Skin, Nice Guy Johnny (and all other Edward Burns movies), Jesus Henry Christ (best I've seen yet at the Tribeca Film Festival), Super 8, Day for Night, Brazil, The Door in the Floor, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and Ordinary People.

TV (shows): I rarely make time for TV anymore, unfortunately. But I do like Game of Thrones, Bojack Horseman, Silicon Valley, Rick and Morty, Steven Universe, Ouran High School Host Club, Nichijou, and House of Cards.

Plays (shows, too): 'Night Mother, Death of a Salesman, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Hamlet, King Lear, the Henry plays, As You Like It, Fences, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, The Book of Mormon, Avenue Q.

Music: I like Paul Simon, Bruce Hornsby, Ben Folds, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Loudon Wainwright III, Jonathan Coulton, Mumford & Sons, Foster the People, Wolfgun, Franz Ferdinand, and whatever else Pandora encourages me to hear. Getting more into electronic music lately as well. Some drum and bass, etc.

There isn't much I hate, so I am a pretty agreeable person to be around. If a person likes something I don't, my gut reaction is to discuss the difference of opinion with him or her. Notably, I am actually capable of changing my mind, and I think this is an insanely attractive trait in others. It would seem appropriate to quote one of my favorite Bruce Hornsby songs:

"You're looking at a picture / I'm looking at it too / Do you see what I see today / Let's talk about the difference / Find out what's in the way / Open our eyes, see the same / See the same way"

Food: Chinese, Indian, Jewish/deli, Mexican, Italian, American, et al. I am pretty much an omnivore. Recently I've been replacing most of my meals with Soylent.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Intimacy (I am a really warm and affectionate person)

2) Computers / miscellaneous gadgets (I like technology too much)

3) My smartphone (to keep me on task and navigate the world)

4) Feedly (né Google Reader) / RSS feeds (to stay informed)

5) Science / Logic / Language (to make sense of things)

6) Numbered lists (just had to be meta)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The origin of life, how we evolved, and where it is all going.

I consider myself to be a futurist, by which I mean that I find it fun to think about how science and technology might be able to shape society and save us from ourselves.

I tend to think things through and be rational, rather than impulsive, and I rarely do things that don't make a whole lot of sense to me. However, I do find that people I really like can draw out my romantic, spontaneous side. It's buried in here somewhere...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with friends, maybe watching a movie or going out for dinner, drinks, and conversation. Or perhaps reading a good book and spending the night in. I'm kind of flexible that way.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am mildly afraid of touching fish while swimming.
Ichthyophobia, it's called. Weird, eh?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You would like to hang out with a nice, witty, smart, dependable, compassionate, fun-loving guy. You are looking for companionship and aren't afraid to truly get to know someone. You think we would get along. You find me attractive and would like to get to know me in the Biblical sense.

Heck, if you made it this far, you owe it to yourself just so you won't have wasted your time reading my profile. Honestly, you should really just take a chance. After all, grief is the price we pay for love.

You shouldn't message me if you're just looking for a one-time hookup, though. My profile might say I'm okay with being casual, but friends with benefits is as casual as I really get. There has to be some kind of connection between us, whether that is friendship or something else. In other words, I like my sex partners to be people I build a rapport with over time.

Note that I'm very safe and conscious of STI risk, also; I'm on Truvada PrEP, and my last STI test was negative/nonreactive for all STIs 2015/10/15.