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36 Indianapolis, IN Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26–41
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:52pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Not at all
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, I'm Brent and I'm just looking to make a genuine connection.

My sincerity in this endeavor is quite earnest, I swear; however, I have found online dating to be rather ridiculous. As such, I've decided to update my profile to reflect the preposterousness of the situation. Some truths will be mixed in with the silliness and exaggerations, and I'll denote those with bold text and an asterisk * (since bold doesn't show up on the mobile app, apparently) when appropriate, but don't take anything too seriously. Do feel free to giggle (or more), though.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
*...standup comedy
...teaching chipmunks Chutes and Ladders
...making friends with retired superheroes
...wrestling dragons (and winning!)
...saving the world one watermelon at a time
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
*...caring about others
...climbing mountains backwards and blindfolded
...identifying alien races
...hypnotizing cows, cheetahs, corn snakes, iguanas, lady bugs, & sea bass
...unmelting butter
...time travel, but it only lasts .000002 seconds & it only works on MLK Day
* know ;) ;)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The ghosts of Tupac and Elvis follow me and collaborate on a wonderful duet entitled "The Bitches in Heaven Do It, Do It Right"...I keep trying to get them to change the "bitches" part, but they won't listen to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I like books about palindromes, & you may have seen this coming, ESP
Movies: anything that includes someone cutting tomatoes
Shows: interesting/entertaining ones
Music: the good kind
Food: mostly the kind I like *(I'm kinda picky)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
*1. Love
2. Hair nets
3. Tropical depressions
4. The letter "q"
5. Dark matter
6. Pork fritters
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game. much fun it would be to tickle Vladimir Putin--for me. He'd probably hate it, but that's part of the charm.
...if spiders would be less menacing if they had belly buttons. Probably not, but it's interesting to ponder.
...if sheep and deer and moose are upset that their plural is the same as their singular.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
*...often attending or performing at a comedy show.
...deciding what color to paint my ceiling.
...trick-or-treating in my homemade Biggie Smalls costume because A) it's never a bad time to dress up like the Notorious B.I.G., and, ii) who doesn't like free candy?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In a previous life, I was a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but with longer arms. Not only did I use those appendages to aid in hunting, I also high fived my dino bros whenever the occasion called for it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. love the color yellow as much as I do. (On a scale of 1 to 37, I love yellow about 17.3547)
* like fun and want to have some with me.
Your favorite toe is your left middle one, followed closely by your right 2nd toe (next to your big toe).
...we were meant to be together...duh...what's taking you so long?
* know, you like, just think it'd be nice to start a conversation and see where it leads and such...that. You don't have to wait on me, bust a move.
*...I messaged you first, even if only to say, "Nope." I promise to leave you be forever if that's the unfortunate case.
...You were a watermelon in a previous life.