My sincerity in this endeavor is quite earnest, I swear; however, I have found online dating to be rather ridiculous. As such, I've decided to update my profile to reflect the preposterousness of the situation. Some truths will be mixed in with the silliness and exaggerations, and I'll denote those with bold text and a ☼ (since bold doesn't show up on the mobile app, apparently) when appropriate, but don't take anything too seriously. Do feel free to giggle (or more), though.
...making friends with retired superheroes
...wrestling dragons (and winning!)
...saving the world one watermelon at a time
...climbing mountains backwards and blindfolded
☼Tic-Tac-Toe (I never lose)
...hypnotizing cows, cheetahs, corn snakes, iguanas, lady bugs, & sea bass
☼...ummm...you know ;)
Movies: anything that includes someone cutting tomatoes
Shows: interesting/entertaining ones about muskrats
☼Food: mostly the kind I like (I'm kinda picky)
2. Hair nets
3. Tropical depressions
4. The letter "q"
5. Dark matter
6. Pork fritters
...if spiders would be less menacing if they had belly buttons. Probably not, but it's interesting to ponder.
...trick-or-treating in my homemade Biggie Smalls costume because A) it's never a bad time to dress up like the Notorious B.I.G., and, ii) who doesn't like free candy?
However, my figurative milkshake brings all the platypuses to the yard, and I'm still on the fence about my feelings on this.
...you love the color yellow as much as I do. (On a scale of 1 to 37, I love yellow about 17.3547.)
☼...you know, you like, just think it'd be nice to start a conversation and see where it leads and such...that. You don't have to wait on me, bust a move.
...You were guacamole in a previous life.
☼...I messaged you first, even if only to say, "Nope." I promise to leave you be forever if that's the unfortunate case.