Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello, I'm Brent and I'm just looking to make a genuine
My sincerity in this endeavor is quite earnest, I swear; however, I
have found online dating to be rather ridiculous. As such, I've
decided to update my profile to reflect the preposterousness of the
situation. Some truths will be mixed in with the silliness and
exaggerations, and I'll denote those with bold
text and an asterisk * (since bold doesn't show up
on the mobile app, apparently) when appropriate, but don't take
anything too seriously. Do feel free to giggle (or more),
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
...teaching chipmunks Chutes and Ladders
...making friends with retired superheroes
...wrestling dragons (and winning!)
...saving the world one watermelon at a time
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
*...caring about others
...climbing mountains backwards and blindfolded
...identifying alien races
...hypnotizing cows, cheetahs, corn snakes, iguanas, lady bugs,
& sea bass
...time travel, but it only lasts .000002 seconds & it only
works on MLK Day
*...ummm...you know ;) ;)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The ghosts of Tupac and Elvis follow me and collaborate on a
wonderful duet entitled "The Bitches in Heaven Do It, Do It
Right"...I keep trying to get them to change the "bitches" part,
but they won't listen to me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I like books about palindromes, & you may have seen this
Movies: anything that includes someone cutting tomatoes
Shows: interesting/entertaining ones
Music: the good kind
Food: mostly the kind I like *(I'm kinda picky)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
2. Hair nets
3. Tropical depressions
4. The letter "q"
5. Dark matter
6. Pork fritters
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...how much fun it would be to tickle Vladimir Putin--for me. He'd
probably hate it, but that's part of the charm.
...if spiders would be less menacing if they had belly buttons.
Probably not, but it's interesting to ponder.
...if sheep and deer and moose are upset that their plural is the
same as their singular.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
*...often attending or performing at a comedy
...deciding what color to paint my ceiling.
...trick-or-treating in my homemade Biggie Smalls costume because
A) it's never a bad time to dress up like the Notorious B.I.G.,
and, ii) who doesn't like free candy?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
In a previous life, I was a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but with longer
arms. Not only did I use those appendages to aid in hunting, I also
high fived my dino bros whenever the occasion called for it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you love the color yellow as much as I do. (On a scale of 1 to
37, I love yellow about 17.3547)
*...you like fun and want to have some with
Your favorite toe is your left middle one, followed closely by your
right 2nd toe (next to your big toe).
...we were meant to be together...duh...what's taking you so
*...you know, you like, just think it'd be nice to start a
conversation and see where it leads and such...that. You don't have
to wait on me, bust a move.
*...I messaged you first, even if only to say, "Nope." I
promise to leave you be forever if that's the unfortunate
...You were a watermelon in a previous life.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.