Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Wonderful yet hairy miscreant currently getting a head-start in
life by acquiring - twenty years too early - middle-aged spread, a
general feeling of unease and disdain, and hair-loss. Just kidding.
Once described as "strange" by the guy who played Harold in
Neighbours, in a pub in Yorkshire in 2007.
I think that sentence sums me up fairly well. If you want to know
more about the talents of the man too weird for Harold from
neighbours, well, he occasionally wanders into kitchens, rearranges
everything, burns coconut milk onto the hobs and leaves - an hour
later - oblivious to the mayhem behind him and yet eating the most
delicious curry you've never tasted.
He claims to be a writer and yet hasn't had anything published
since mid 2005, and even then they comprised a few album and
English teacher in the beautiful town of Lecco. I spend most of my
time trying to avoid getting my pale Scottish skin too
Also: OKCupid is telling me that 1.82m is 6'0. It isn't. It's 5'11
and a half and a bit more. Whether I'm six foot or not entirely
depends on my shoes.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently an English teacher in Italy. The long term plan is to get
a well-paid English-teaching job, in Italy or elsewhere.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Withering sarcasm and ironic self-depricating/aggrandising humour,
being un-nervingly genuine and honest with both insults and
compliments, catching mice (my superior weight advantage,
borderline autistic determination and reluctance to feel stupid
while weilding a broom and a bucket like some kind of roman
gladiator - stroke - toilet hygiene attendant more than makes up
for my inferior intellect in this particular inter-species battle
of attrition), feigning both interest and ignorance, cooking,
scrabble, chess, Calvinball and impersonating Mexicans (provided I
have access to adequate headwear)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The outward, charming friendliness and lop-sided smile, usually
replaced with apparent disinterest within twenty minutes or so.
It's never personal, I'm just easily distracted. There might be a
fly or a painting or an interesting fractal pattern in the leaves
of an otherwise inauspicious pot-plant and my brain won't let me
continue a conversation until I've made absolutely sure it isn't a
threat or valuable or moving when my back is turned or bristling
with potential energy. I need someone to click their fingers in
front of my eyes and tell me something interesting or, if nothing
interesting is forthcoming, removing an item of clothing.
Oh, and I have two tiny, symmetrical scars on either side of my
forehead. Some more relgious friends continue to honestly believe
that this is the result of my having my horns removed. The actual
story is much less sinister.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Anything written by Don Paterson, Carol Ann Duffy, Christopher
Brookmyre, Iain Banks or Terry Pratchett. A short list of beloved
films would include most things made by Sergio Leone, Quentin
Tarantino, Studio Ghibli and the Coen Brothers, El Secreto de sus
Ojos, The Big Lebowski, AngelA, Withnail and I, Le Fille sur the
Pont and Loaded Weapon 1.
As far as music goes I can commonly be found wiggling my awkward
caucasian fingers to The Mars Volta, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Zaz,
Massive Attack, Brad Sucks, Metallica, the occasional
Beethoven/Verdi/Dvorak thingmy and Bill Withers.
'Papa was a Rolling Stone' is the coolest song ever recorded and I
dare anyone to suggest otherwise.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Spinach, cartilage, football, bums, the occasional slap in the face
and this here internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
unimportant things. In fact I do little else.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Avoiding anywhere busy. Yes, yes, I'm boring, but I'm not a fan of
crowded rooms or anywhere too noisy. I think I'm getting old.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you enjoy coffee, wine and conversation, no matter how instant the
coffee, how cheap the wine and how irreverent the conversation.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.