Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In high school, I often felt the questions offered false
dichotomies or misleading premises, so I tried to answer them the
way I thought my teachers wanted. . I was miserable and my grades
gradually declined. In college, I decided to stop answering
questions their way and answer them my own way, consequences be
damned. That's when I became a straight A student. So in that
spirit, I've erased my long, carefully considered profile and
replaced it with this.
Religiously, I'm an agnostic pluralist. I think many beliefs offer
many perspectives and should be both respected and mocked. I think
atheism is an arrogant flaw in otherwise impeccable logic. I think
the world of the magic and spirituality has as much beautiful truth
as it has horrible, deceitful lies. And I believe religious beliefs
may be entirely compatible when you eliminate absolute
In my personal philosophy, I live my life as a Taoist. I'm
motivated by personal intellectual and emotional stimulation and
expression. This is why I love stories and fancy myself a
Regarding gender philosophy, I'm well-versed in the history of the
women's movement, queer culture, and gender identity in general. I
make it a point to learn these things and the current state of
discourse is, frankly, pathetic. Even self-described feminists
don't seem to understand that feminism isn't a single thing, but a
collection of many different views on gender and how we should (or
shouldn't) view it. Personally, I'm a big fan of Julia Kristeva and
the post-feminist gender deconstructionist movement. Consequently,
I prefer a woman who is eager to challenge traditional roles and I
have no interest in taking responsibility for immature girls as
their surrogate father figure (i.e. traditional marriage).
If you're attracted to someone who grew up thinking of Gomez Addams
and Willy Wonka as positive role models, I'm your guy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
This is a question largely determined by the time range you
provide. I could say that what I'm "doing" is typing this message
or what I have done for the past month or what I'm planning to do
this coming year. Rather than take such a narrow viewpoint, let's
take a look at my entire life, since the question puts no limits on
I am observing. I'm taking into account the world as I see it. From
that, I'm hypothesizing as to why it is the way it is. I'm then
testing that hypothesis as new data is introduced and thus refining
the original hypothesis.
... I think I accidentally described the scientific method.
I'm trying to live an honest and ethical life in a dishonest and
unethical world where those who most claim ethics and honesty have
deferred the hard choices to their religion or their job. I once
bounced between white collar jobs without an ounce of honor between
them, and now I'm a freelancer with three jobs offering irregular
hours. But I'm myself at every one of those jobs and I know for a
fact that I'm making the world a better place. And at one of those
jobs, I'm a writer.... so, score.
Creatively, I'm struggling. I have notebooks filled with story
ideas, many of which I can see so clearly in my head, but I can't
connect with emotionally. I don't claim to write high art. I only
aspire to quality entertainment. But you need to have a lot of
emotional stability to drag yourself through the emotional
stability of others. And while Taoist teaches me to be light and
flexible as a reed, it doesn't teach a reed how to bear a lot of
weight. Being emotionally detached and responsible for the feelings
of others (particularly my bossy sister and divorcing parents)
didn't leave me with a great capacity to access my feelings... at
least in a manner other than the intellectual way that I'm
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Pick a topic. You name it, I'll deconstruct it. History,
psychology, technology, religion, science, entertainment... As long
as it doesn't have any direct practical applications like auto
repair, I'm interested. I like entertainment and the soft sciences.
I like to figure out how others view the world and how that view
influences their decisions and how those decisions influence others
and how those people take responsibility for how that influenced
them and so on ad infinitum. Sociologically, I want to understand a
planet that seems very cruel , self-deluded, and alien to me then
determine my place in it.
However, I love to deconstruct stories, particularly pop culture. I
love YouTube videos that offer smart pop cultural analysis, and I
love to "geek out" (if you accept that paradigm). I want to make my
own YouTube videos so I'm always looking for collaborators.
Part of this deconstruction impulse is being a writer. I need a
deep well of ideas to draw upon and I need some perspective to have
anything of value to say. Growing up as the youngest in my family,
I was rarely given the opportunity to speak. When I did, I'd
usually stutter and be dismissed. This put me in the habit of
observing others quietly and learning about their interactions. I
remember the very moment when I was playing make believe and
realized I could do this for a living as a writer. And though I've
always used this skill, only recently has it become my job
Aside from that, and as cheesy as it sounds, I'm a really good
friend. I spent the last year caring for a wonderful neighbor with
a spinal injury and we became close friends. I was great friends
with all of my girlfriends. I try to be there for all my friends
when they need me and I'm honest with them, even when it isn't
smart. I'm a wonderful host and I'm very sympathetic to the needs
Now I'm feeling full of myself, so it's time to move on... (did I
mention I've been drinking?)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
First of all, having a favorite food is stupid. All food is fucking
fantastic... except for eggplant. That mealy, flavorless vegetable
serves no earthly good. I don't have much patience for people with
a small range of foods they'll eat. Bless vegetarians and their
decision to make a smaller environmental impact and/or
compassionate treatment of animals, but I enjoy that part of the
food chain WAY too much. And I'll make a point of eating anything I
haven't tried before. The moment I go to my ancestral homeland of
Scotland, I'm looking for the best place to order haggis... even if
I regret it the next day.
Movies, television, and comics are what I know best. I love the
visual arts and there is nothing that pleases me more than when
sophistication meets low brow. The breakdown of intellectual and
entertainment barriers warms my cockles... and I didn't even know I
had cockles! I need a partner that can share in the joys of Star
Trek and Doctor Who or get excited about the upcoming Marvel movie
with me, but I also need someone who will accompany me as I
accomplish my goal of seeing every classic film in the history of
cinema. I need someone who can step outside themselves enough to
appreciate something they normally wouldn't, whether its foreign
film, black-and-white, independent, western, horror,
As for music, this is admittedly my weak spot, but I'm working on
it and I would like a coach (provided you have extremely good
taste, of course). I started my education in the early 90s with the
burgeoning hip-hop pop scene of Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, MC
Hammer, C&C Music Factory, and the dreaded Vanilla Ice. After I
became aware enough to be embarrassed by this last choice, I gave
up on popular music and started listening to my dad's collection of
late 60s/early 70s rock. After watching Blues Brothers, I started
developing an interest in blues, soul, and funk which gradually
came around to modern hiphop (roughly when the Gorillaz debuted).
Since then, I branched out to contemporaries like Moby, Beck, and
Ween while simultaneously exploring the timeless classics like
Django Reinhardt and Nat King Cole. However, recently I've been
reintroducing myself to the joys of early hiphop, particularly
Digital Underground and Salt-N-Pepa.
In fact, I think I'll go listen to that right now.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This question always bothered me because "6" is such an arbitrary
number. Why not three things? Or one thing? It's so tempting to
answer this question literally as though there were an alien who
doesn't have a basic understanding of the necessities of human
If the point of the question is to ask, what do you need to be
happy and sane? Well, then you are presuming both my happiness and
my sanity.... or else putting me in the awkward position of
pointing out that I don't in fact have what I need. If I had what I
needed, why would I be on a dating site?
I still feel I should at least make some attempt to answer this. I
do without many things that I feel I need, chiefly amongst those
being a woman of character, compassion, and excitement. I also lack
the monetary resources to indulge my curiosity to my utmost, which
is rather vexing.
Yet what do I have that fills my life with meaning? Well, my cats
are a wonderful source of comfort and companionship, reminding me
of the interconnected nature of existence. My neighbor friend, my
niece, and my nephew give me boundless hope for the human spirit to
overcome adversity and become something truly noble. Entertainment,
whether through story or song, that honestly expresses something
vital and real. No matter how much people complain about the media
today, there are always diamonds in the rough. You just have to
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My thoughts haunt me. They are generally self-reflexive, designed
to help me make decisions and motivate me to bigger and better
things, but I get bogged down. As the Irish say (and it is St.
Paddy's Day as I write this), I have a great sadness. My earliest
memory is of a pain that woke me in the middle of the night and
made me cry. At the time, I was sure it was the pain of the whole
world, now I wonder if it was just the pain in my own life. I was
wonderfully naive as a child...
I firmly believe that if you aren't a little depressed, you aren't
awake... and my mother was the least depressed person I've ever
known. I say that I have a great sadness because I carry it, but I
don't let it define me. I have no patience for "positive
visualization." I tried cognitive behavioral therapy. If you like
self-hypnosis and delusion, that stuff works great.
That said, life is too serious to take seriously and I find that
one benefits from embracing the absurdity of it all. I like to find
the weird, secret hallows of society and learn the ways of
outcasts. I like to get out of my head and crawl into someone
Truthfully, that's what I miss most about having someone. I miss
being in their head and, even more, them being in mine. This is
what I think about most often... If I have any time after all that,
I think about my stories.
Also, why don't cats have a sense of rhythm? Or do they just not
like my taste in music?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I try not to have any typical nights, but the last place you'll
catch me is a bar or a club pretending to have fun while listening
to shitty music and struggling to have a conversation while nursing
I'm more than happy to stay home with good company and some light
entertainment, but I also like to find out what events are going on
in town. You want to go to Happy Hour? Fuck that. Let's go to the
Australian steampunk circus or a high school production of the
Twilight Zone. With the right company, I can have a wonderful time
just staring into her eyes, but if we're going to dance, don't drag
me to "the club." Drag me to a '50s dance or a blues club or
something with a little character.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Again, taken literally, I'd say message me if you are a kind person
with a legitimate interest in getting to know me... but that's not
the real question. The real question is "What are you looking for
in a lover?"
It's a hard question to answer. There are things I've told myself I
need and things I'm attracted to. There are qualities I feel would
balance me or I could bring balance to. I'm tempted to describe her
beauty, but afraid that would make me sound shallow. I want to say
she'd be happy and warm, but I'm afraid I'd seem sad and cold by
comparison. I'm tempted to describe her in term of femininity and
androgyny, with a distinctly feminine spirit though a somewhat
androgynous demeanor challenging convention. I'm very tempted to
describe her sexually as an open and self-possessed creature who
doesn't see herself as prey, but as a huntress.
But perhaps its best to say what I am. I'm stable. I'm a firm soil
from which great oaks grow. For all that I worry that universe is a
chaotic, merciless disaster, I find order in myself and how I live
my life... and I bring that stability to others. If that sounds
like something you need or you just like to shake up a good guy who
gets a bit stuck in his own patterns, send me a message.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.