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33 Auburn, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–37
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:29pm
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In high school, I often felt the questions offered false dichotomies or misleading premises, so I tried to answer them the way I thought my teachers wanted. . I was miserable and my grades gradually declined. In college, I decided to stop answering questions their way and answer them my own way, consequences be damned. That's when I became a straight A student. So in that spirit, I've erased my long, carefully considered profile and replaced it with this.

Religiously, I'm an agnostic pluralist. I think many beliefs offer many perspectives and should be both respected and mocked. I think atheism is an arrogant flaw in otherwise impeccable logic. I think the world of the magic and spirituality has as much beautiful truth as it has horrible, deceitful lies. And I believe religious beliefs may be entirely compatible when you eliminate absolute statements.

In my personal philosophy, I live my life as a Taoist. I'm motivated by personal intellectual and emotional stimulation and expression. This is why I love stories and fancy myself a storyteller.

Regarding gender philosophy, I'm well-versed in the history of the women's movement, queer culture, and gender identity in general. I make it a point to learn these things and the current state of discourse is, frankly, pathetic. Even self-described feminists don't seem to understand that feminism isn't a single thing, but a collection of many different views on gender and how we should (or shouldn't) view it. Personally, I'm a big fan of Julia Kristeva and the post-feminist gender deconstructionist movement. Consequently, I prefer a woman who is eager to challenge traditional roles and I have no interest in taking responsibility for immature girls as their surrogate father figure (i.e. traditional marriage).

If you're attracted to someone who grew up thinking of Gomez Addams and Willy Wonka as positive role models, I'm your guy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
This is a question largely determined by the time range you provide. I could say that what I'm "doing" is typing this message or what I have done for the past month or what I'm planning to do this coming year. Rather than take such a narrow viewpoint, let's take a look at my entire life, since the question puts no limits on time.

I am observing. I'm taking into account the world as I see it. From that, I'm hypothesizing as to why it is the way it is. I'm then testing that hypothesis as new data is introduced and thus refining the original hypothesis.

... I think I accidentally described the scientific method.

I'm trying to live an honest and ethical life in a dishonest and unethical world where those who most claim ethics and honesty have deferred the hard choices to their religion or their job. I once bounced between white collar jobs without an ounce of honor between them, and now I'm a freelancer with three jobs offering irregular hours. But I'm myself at every one of those jobs and I know for a fact that I'm making the world a better place. And at one of those jobs, I'm a writer.... so, score.

Creatively, I'm struggling. I have notebooks filled with story ideas, many of which I can see so clearly in my head, but I can't connect with emotionally. I don't claim to write high art. I only aspire to quality entertainment. But you need to have a lot of emotional stability to drag yourself through the emotions of others. And while Taoism teaches me to be light and flexible as a reed, it doesn't teach a reed how to bear a lot of weight. Being emotionally detached and responsible for the feelings of others (particularly my bossy sister and divorcing parents) didn't leave me with a great capacity to access my feelings... at least in a manner other than the intellectual way that I'm currently demonstrating.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Pick a topic. You name it, I'll deconstruct it. History, psychology, technology, religion, science, entertainment... As long as it doesn't have any direct practical applications like auto repair, I'm interested. I like entertainment and the soft sciences. I like to figure out how others view the world and how that view influences their decisions and how those decisions influence others and how those people take responsibility for how that influenced them and so on ad infinitum. Sociologically, I want to understand a planet that seems very cruel , self-deluded, and alien to me then determine my place in it.

However, I love to deconstruct stories, particularly pop culture. I love YouTube videos that offer smart pop cultural analysis, and I love to "geek out" (if you accept that paradigm). I want to make my own YouTube videos so I'm always looking for collaborators.

Part of this deconstruction impulse is being a writer. I need a deep well of ideas to draw upon and I need some perspective to have anything of value to say. Growing up as the youngest in my family, I was rarely given the opportunity to speak. When I did, I'd usually stutter and be dismissed. This put me in the habit of observing others quietly and learning about their interactions. I remember the very moment when I was playing make believe and realized I could do this for a living as a writer. And though I've always used this skill, only recently has it become my job description.

Aside from that, and as cheesy as it sounds, I'm a really good friend. I spent the last year caring for a wonderful neighbor with a spinal injury and we became close friends. I was great friends with all of my girlfriends. I try to be there for all my friends when they need me and I'm honest with them, even when it isn't smart. I'm a wonderful host and I'm very sympathetic to the needs of others.

Now I'm feeling full of myself, so it's time to move on... (did I mention I've been drinking?)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
First of all, having a favorite food is stupid. All food is fucking fantastic... except for eggplant. That mealy, flavorless vegetable serves no earthly good. I don't have much patience for people with a small range of foods they'll eat. Bless vegetarians and their decision to make a smaller environmental impact and/or compassionate treatment of animals, but I enjoy that part of the food chain WAY too much. And I'll make a point of eating anything I haven't tried before. The moment I go to my ancestral homeland of Scotland, I'm looking for the best place to order haggis... even if I regret it the next day.

Movies, television, and comics are what I know best. I love the visual arts and there is nothing that pleases me more than when sophistication meets low brow. The breakdown of intellectual and entertainment barriers warms my cockles... and I didn't even know I had cockles! I need a partner that can share in the joys of Star Trek and Doctor Who or get excited about the upcoming Marvel movie with me, but I also need someone who will accompany me as I accomplish my goal of seeing every classic film in the history of cinema. I need someone who can step outside themselves enough to appreciate something they normally wouldn't, whether its foreign film, black-and-white, independent, western, horror, whatever.

As for music, this is admittedly my weak spot, but I'm working on it and I would like a coach (provided you have extremely good taste, of course). I started my education in the early 90s with the burgeoning hip-hop pop scene of Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff, MC Hammer, C&C Music Factory, and the dreaded Vanilla Ice. After I became aware enough to be embarrassed by this last choice, I gave up on popular music and started listening to my dad's collection of late 60s/early 70s rock. After watching Blues Brothers, I started developing an interest in blues, soul, and funk which gradually came around to modern hiphop (roughly when the Gorillaz debuted). Since then, I branched out to contemporaries like Moby, Beck, and Ween while simultaneously exploring the timeless classics like Django Reinhardt and Nat King Cole. However, recently I've been reintroducing myself to the joys of early hiphop, particularly Digital Underground and Salt-N-Pepa.

In fact, I think I'll go listen to that right now.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
This question always bothered me because "6" is such an arbitrary number. Why not three things? Or one thing? It's so tempting to answer this question literally as though there were an alien who doesn't have a basic understanding of the necessities of human life.

If the point of the question is to ask, what do you need to be happy and sane? Well, then you are presuming both my happiness and my sanity.... or else putting me in the awkward position of pointing out that I don't in fact have what I need. If I had what I needed, why would I be on a dating site?

I still feel I should at least make some attempt to answer this. I do without many things that I feel I need, chiefly amongst those being a woman of character, compassion, and excitement. I also lack the monetary resources to indulge my curiosity to my utmost, which is rather vexing.

Yet what do I have that fills my life with meaning? Well, my cats are a wonderful source of comfort and companionship, reminding me of the interconnected nature of existence. My neighbor friend, my niece, and my nephew give me boundless hope for the human spirit to overcome adversity and become something truly noble. Entertainment, whether through story or song, that honestly expresses something vital and real. No matter how much people complain about the media today, there are always diamonds in the rough. You just have to find them.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My thoughts haunt me. They are generally self-reflexive, designed to help me make decisions and motivate me to bigger and better things, but I get bogged down. As the Irish say (and it is St. Paddy's Day as I write this), I have a great sadness. My earliest memory is of a pain that woke me in the middle of the night and made me cry. At the time, I was sure it was the pain of the whole world, now I wonder if it was just the pain in my own life. I was wonderfully naive as a child...

I firmly believe that if you aren't a little depressed, you aren't awake... and my mother was the least depressed person I've ever known. I say that I have a great sadness because I carry it, but I don't let it define me. I have no patience for "positive visualization." I tried cognitive behavioral therapy. If you like self-hypnosis and delusion, that stuff works great.

That said, life is too serious to take seriously and I find that one benefits from embracing the absurdity of it all. I like to find the weird, secret hallows of society and learn the ways of outcasts. I like to get out of my head and crawl into someone else's.

Truthfully, that's what I miss most about having someone. I miss being in their head and, even more, them being in mine. This is what I think about most often... If I have any time after all that, I think about my stories.

Also, why don't cats have a sense of rhythm? Or do they just not like my taste in music?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I try not to have any typical nights, but the last place you'll catch me is a bar or a club pretending to have fun while listening to shitty music and struggling to have a conversation while nursing overpriced drinks.

I'm more than happy to stay home with good company and some light entertainment, but I also like to find out what events are going on in town. You want to go to Happy Hour? Fuck that. Let's go to the Australian steampunk circus or a high school production of the Twilight Zone. With the right company, I can have a wonderful time just staring into her eyes, but if we're going to dance, don't drag me to "the club." Drag me to a '50s dance or a blues club or something with a little character.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Again, taken literally, I'd say message me if you are a kind person with a legitimate interest in getting to know me... but that's not the real question. The real question is "What are you looking for in a lover?"

It's a hard question to answer. There are things I've told myself I need and things I'm attracted to. There are qualities I feel would balance me or I could bring balance to. I'm tempted to describe her beauty, but afraid that would make me sound shallow. I want to say she'd be happy and warm, but I'm afraid I'd seem sad and cold by comparison. I'm tempted to describe her in term of femininity and androgyny, with a distinctly feminine spirit though a somewhat androgynous demeanor challenging convention. I'm very tempted to describe her sexually as an open and self-possessed creature who doesn't see herself as prey, but as a huntress.

But perhaps its best to say what I am. I'm stable. I'm a firm soil from which great oaks grow. For all that I worry that universe is a chaotic, merciless disaster, I find order in myself and how I live my life... and I bring that stability to others. If that sounds like something you need or you just like to shake up a good guy who gets a bit stuck in his own patterns, send me a message.