Riiiiiiight. I live in Vegas, although I'm really an east coast girl at heart. None of this really means much in the grand scheme of things except for the fact that I'm going to end up selling my soul (or my body) to the man to pay back my student loans. I'm also pretty bitchy, and I have undying love for the Hokies and the Red Sox.

I find it amusing that no matter what my profile says about my relationship status, it surprisingly has no affect on the plethora of e-mails I get asking me to get funky with men who could comfortably be mistaken for my father. Hey, don't get me wrong, I do like older men, much like a fine wine. Although really, I prefer beer. And... I'm not really sure how that works with the metaphor.

So, in sum... I'm hot. And modest. And very smart. Did I mention modest? Also, I tend to repeat myself.

Je fais cuire au four. Je couds. Je tricote. Je prends de jolies photos. J'aime n'importe qui avec un accent, supposant que vous êtes masculin. Et, bien, chaud.

Je suis un chaud-lapin.

I am perspicacious, splendiferous, and on fire.

Drinking, baking, traveling as much as my free time and bank account allow me to. Coaching the future of roller derby.

In all seriousness (boo, I know), most of the year I'm working two full time jobs, and I practice almost every day of the week. Free time is hard to come by, so you should feel pretty darn special if I spend what little I have of it with you. Because I mean, really, c'mon, that's an honor.

(If you missed all the snark in that last paragraph, move on, pal. We just aren't meant to be.)

Roller derby, making people laugh, ignoring people I don't like.

My eyes or my smile... unless they're not actually looking at my face, in which case, my chest. Well, unless they're not actually looking at me at all, in which case, my sense of humor.

(a) The Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Virgin Suicides, Harry Potter, Round Ireland with a Fridge
(b) Role Models, Wet Hot American Summer, Clue, Garden State, Almost Famous, Office Space, The Fifth Element, A Mighty Wind, What Dreams May Come, Love Actually, Satyr
(c) It's Always Sunny, The League, Doctor Who, Archer... whatever else I can find streaming because I don't have cable.
(d) Mumford & Sons, fun., Band of Horses, Brad Paisley, Michael Bublé, Dashboard, OLP, Superock, Postal Service, Phantom Planet, The Decemberists
(e) Anything but meat, Acme cake

Pictures, lip gloss, derby, hot pants, mind games, college football. Oh, and Irish beer. That's seven. Whatever, I don't care, I didn't major in math.

you? No really, I spend most of my time thinking about roller derby, and work, and the power of stupid people in large groups. Also about the logistics of moving to Ireland without having citizenship.

wishing I could stay out later, but I can't because I have practice in the morning. I know, I know... lame.

I can be ridiculously shallow. If I had to choose between being killed in a car wreck and being horribly disfigured in a car wreck, I'd choose death. Hands down.

Also, funny story, there was this one time that I got seriously drunk in a lesbian bar in Philly and fell off the stage after singing karaoke ("Believe", by Cher, no less). Although... hmmm... I guess that's not so private, what with all the people that witnessed it...

You're wicked hot. You want to hang out with a cool chick regardless of getting laid.

You aren't going to evaluate your self-worth on whether I respond or not. If I don't respond, it doesn't always mean I wouldn't be interested in you; I often get distract--oooooh shiny! What was I saying?

Orrrrrr if you score high on my test. Which may or may not actually exist anymore; thanks okcupid. More power to you if you can actually find it.