When men and women come together,
how much they have to abandon! Wrens
make their nests of fancy threads
and string ends, animals
abandon all their money each year.
What is that men and women leave?
Harder than wrens’ doing, they have
to abandon their longing for the perfect.
The inner nest not made by instinct
will never be quite round,
and each has to enter the nest
made by the other imperfect bird.
Those are the last three stanzas of one of my favorite poems, “Listening to the Koln Concert” by Robert Bly (the Koln Concert by Keith Jarrett is amazing by the way). I love those last two lines. I believe the Universe is conspiring with me to find the imperfect bird perfect for me.
But as conspiring “with” implies, I have to do the work and not sit around waiting for it to happen. So, in an effort to leave no stone unturned, here I am. What can I tell you about this imperfect bird other than that’s a perfect one word description? If I had to pick three words, they would be smart, funny and curious. I love to think, laugh and learn. I have never cared about things (cars, money, status, etc). I have always been much more turned on by relationships with people, ideas, music, art, etc. The intangible has always trumped the tangible for me. My most valuable “possession” are my relationships. My top five friends average 20 years on the job. I often say that I value “being” over “doing”. That is, I don’t need to be doing something extravagant to enjoy life. I enjoy “being” more, especially with the right people. Likewise, I am usually not interested in what someone “does” for a living as much as who they “are” essentially. Having said that, as far what I enjoy doing goes, I love movies (anything that makes me laugh or think is a favorite), music (especially love lyrics and don’t get me started on why Counting Crows is the best band ever), books, travel, good conversation and again “being” with people I care about and love.
That’s a decent start to who I am I guess. So, what am I looking for? I want someone who makes me think and experience life in new ways. Someone that expands my horizons and makes my world bigger. I want someone that I don’t get tired of talking with. I want someone with whom it’s easy to be and with whom I can be unafraid to be my authentic, imperfect self. I want someone that laughs easily, chooses to see the glass as half full and who kisses like they have all the time in the world. An open mind and open heart are necessary and appreciated. Finally, an open hand to hold sounds pretty good, too.
I said I never cared about things. What I really want is someone to adore and lavish with affection and who might be inclined to reciprocate. If you think you might be interested in exploring that, I’d love to hear from you. And if not, I sincerely hope that you very soon find the person you do want to explore that with. We’re all on a journey here and I wish you my fellow traveler godspeed.