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35 Madison, CT Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 1:00pm
6' 2" (1.88m)
Body Type
Working on Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
OK, well, it won't be comprehensive, but here's a little still frame, a still life, a glimpse into a process. My friends would say that I'm a gentle soul trapped inside of a burly body, generous, animated, out of sympathy with most prevailing currents of society, yet always smiling and seeing the best in people and situations.

I'm seeking to take heart of life because love brings ecstasy and friends are the greatest thing ever.

I am here, on OKcupid, and so are you! The odds are like tossing a penny into the air and having it land square on an ant!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
-Formally, I'm getting a Ph.D in Psychology/Neuroscience at Vanderbilt University (it's my sixth year)

The National Eye Institute and the National Institute of Mental Health pay me to think about thinking. I study higher mental abilities like attention and memory in healthy individuals, and how these cognitive processes break down in neuropsychiatric illnesses, like schizophrenia.

However, I don't think professions (i.e., "what you do"), define who people are. We are so much more, at least we can be!

-Laughing uncontrollably and whirling like a dervish

My mom says I was an extremely happy baby so I've been whirling for a while.

-Loving every minute and thanking my lucky stars for every privilege

-Breathing large airs and great spaces

-Escaping the confines of the doctrinal system though still navigating on the grid

-Being open, vulnerable, and generous to fully experience things

-Making music that sinks to depths below your plumb-line (mostly piano)

-Dancing with limbs akimbo and feet kicking up dust

-Singing like the weak pipings and shrill quaverings of some seaport hag with a gin-cracked throat, ill-nourished and untrained

-Drunken in new and deep ways, fired with love and with a glimpse of higher and eternal life; with books, that have set a myriad maggots of desire gnawing on my brain!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Here's what I try to be good at:

-Putting myself in other people's shoes, escaping the skin and trying to understand. I love it. I thrive on the feeling. I want to constantly be unhoused, shaking up my world.

-Making complex things simple and understandable. Outside poetry, literature, and the arts, if an idea can be stated with mono-syllables and high-frequency words then it should be (I think), and if it can't, well, then that's OK and possibly interesting.

-Being spontaneous. I'm up for virtually anything, always and forever.

-Seeing humor in "unhumorous" situations.

-Gossiping about people's virtues, not their vices.

-Cooking. I'll have you salivating like a prattling infant.

-Skateboarding. My K-grinds and backside flips will have you sick to your stomach.

-Classical piano. I taught for a decade and have played since I was 8 yrs old.

-Throwing things. I was a college baseball pitcher. I threw a no-hitter.

-Letting others be as free as possible to discover things for themselves

-Not judging others for poor grammar or speaking badly. Secretly, this is easy if you have some background in theoretical linguistics.

-Decoding contemporary new-speak/ the terminology of political discourse

-doing some math and computer programming. My latest feat was modeling the path of current flow through the brain, essentially using a fancy 3D version of Ohm's Law.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I smile a lot. I'm nearly always happy. I think I'm missing a gene. ;-)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MUSIC: Anything that turns my flesh to spirit. Anything that makes my feet no longer clay! I'm into substantive meaningful acoustic stuffs like Ani Difranco, Counting Crows, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Paul Simon, Tori Amos, Neil Young, Woody Guthrie, Cat Stevens, Mumford and Sons, Ryan Adams, Pearl Jam, Andrew Bird. I also love music about peace and social justice. Anything with soul and passion and truth, a full-mouthed scream from the back of the throat like of a dead-march of a gnat amid the trumpeting of elephants and the roaring of lions, insatiable with microscopic desire!

Fun and dance stuffs are also irresistible, like Del Shannon, Arcade Fire, Bell and Sebastian, Magnetic Fields, Coldplay, Radiohead, iron and wine, postal service, yeah yeah yeahs, the mountain goats, band of horses, the clash, muse, new order, jeff lewis, tears for fears, the spinto band, neutral milk hotel, matt and kim, death cab, phoenix, okkervil river, the shins, regina speckor, joy division, clap your hands say yeah, talking heads, frightened rabbit, the temper trap, pulp, the comeback of st. thomas, jens lekman...(I'm less plugged into new music as I was during high school).

And of course my roots in metal and punk, like overcast, dissolve, crass, nofx, rage..and classical music like Chopin, Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Satie, Liszt...

AUTHORS: I choose my roll models a la carte, meaning I try to take the most admirable qualities from a range of great thinkers. The list is long but includes names like Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Isaac Newton, Rosa Luxenburg, Rene Descartes, Bell Hooks, Langston Hughes, Aaron Swartz, Michael Albert, Dalton Trumbo, Emma Goldman, Bertrand Russell, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Picasso, Mark Twain, John Dewey...

MOVIES: my favorite movie is Harold and Maude, my favorite cartoons are Robin Hood and The Sword in the Stone, my favorite documentary is Creating Freedom: The Lottery of Birth. I think Bill Murray is a comedic genius. Philip Seymour Hoffman in Polly, and Vince Vaughn in Made were hilarious because they were sarcastic assholes. Larry David, Louie CK, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Sarah Silverman are all pretty funny. I like Woody Allen as a director because his films are usually character driven focused on real, meaningful human interactions. Generally, good escapism, good documentaries, high comedy, whatever the genre, I just prefer that it's of a high quality.

FOOD: When it comes to food I ball out of control. I cook a lot, and strive for the freshest, healthiest foods. When I'm not talking about nature or the way the human social world works, I'm talking about a new recipe.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

My friends from home, 3 guys, who I've known since the beginning. We're unusual. Our way of comedy is hard to describe. It's situational. It's sometimes profound and layered and paradigmatic. It's often dry, sarcastic, off-beat, mostly about timing, delivery, and intonation. I pride myself on these guys. They're beautiful, high principled, dynamic and real. They help make me who I am. I feel so lucky to have met them.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to save the world, help people, understand nature's secrets, and love.

If there's say a 1% chance of our species surviving, I think that it's rational to throw ourselves behind that 1%. I believe in people. I believe they have the capacities to understand most everything that we can grasp, and that all us ordinary folks have the opportunity to be extraordinary.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Everyday I am either: outdoors, viewing the sunset, star gazing, thinking big, meeting new people, taking a long walk, bicycle riding, dancing demented stone sober, meandering the streets, writing a story, listening to lectures, listening to poetry, taking in live music, remembering how to do that skateboard trick or play that piano piece, cooking up a storm, experimenting in the kitchen, and constantly laughing to myself and seeing humor in ordinary situations.

For me, it's all about the company you keep, and much less about the activities you're involved in.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...if you think and feel deeply. If you think and feel deeply about the human experience and the world around you. Because people who do this, in my experience, build deep and enduring connections with others, and I'm only really interested in developing substantive, meaningful connections with people.

When it comes to dating, I try to put aside the superficial aspects of life, like measuring people against some hierarchy of coolness, age, race, class, aesthetics, intelligence, whatever. I do make judgements, but I try to make them on more substantives factors, like wisdom, compassion, humility, philanthropy (i.e., love for humanity), inquisitiveness, etc. This has led me to beautiful people and life-long friends. I'll give anyone a shot!

If you've read this far, and let's say we never meet, then here, take this with you.

You are beautiful, you are intelligent, and you are not alone in the way you feel. Stay energized, stay participating, and stay thinking for yourself.

P.S. Bernie Sanders 2016. Join the love train!