Bees stuck in my apple pie

I'm often left wondering why

Every body wants a piece

For free

Half of the work was done

When they came to kill the fun

While others want to think

 Of the sea

Kittens stuck in all the trees

Two pods with no peas

The time has come to pass

The buck

Speaking without my mouth

Gone north while the rest went south

Calling tails on a two headed coin

That's my luck

Why is it that when I see a woman I find attractive I completely shut down and think only the worst about myself?

Ugh.

"I sat in my less than perfect blasé life with my good-enough-to-settle pseudo-metro-sexual-but-not-really boyfriend dreaming of your raspy voice and strong armed embrace with resentment." Fuck you too.

I am not ok

My dearest okcupid

I am so lonely

I will shave my beard

Exposing my deepest self

To match my bald scalp

Please pardon my dust

I want to grow you roses

I am not worthy

An asphalt jungle

Is a prison without bars

Trapped by poverty

Upon my worn face

My beard is voluminous

Do not feed the beast

Your eyes are burdened

Your sorrow is reflected

Within my own voice

A sinking stone in the pit of my gut

Unpleasant fumes leaking from my butt

Was it the tacos or the baked beans

That caused me to shit my acid wash jeans

It started off real quiet

Then turned to a riot

A dark bubblin brew

Fresh batch of toilet stew

A  lovely shade of brown

That refuses to flush down

I'm bursting at my seams with chocolate chud

A pudding shotgun blast that goes thud

I should have learned my lesson last time round

Taking off like a NASA shit rocket from the ground

It started off real quiet

Then turned to a riot

A dark bubblin brew

Fresh batch of toilet stew

A  lovely shade of brown

That refuses to flush down

Keeping my head dry and cool out of the clouds

Under the rocks where it's better not to ask

When the world is on your shoulders prying

Trying to whip you into shape and put you to task

I recall the waste and excess of our safety

Telling tales of time gone off the path set by man

Science in a jar sitting upon the kitchen counter

Setting into motion an unknown unintended plan

Last night my friends wanted to go to a bar.

I Begrudgingly went. I had only three dollars to my name so I was fully expecting to watch my two friends get hammered and I would have ended up the dd.

Long story short

• I did get drunk, real drunk
• A self described "southern boy" (with rebel flag tattoo) bought us "good ole' boys" a pitcher of beer.
• Said "southern boy" confessed his love of liberals and lesbians to me.
• Then the "southern boy" showed me pictures of lesbians holding his penis while he peed, a picture of him with a towel hanging off his penis with one arm around a chick, and then pictures of the lesbians going down on him. Apparently they had never been with a man but got in an argument over who could perform oral sex better. Of course he did this when my two friends left to go sing Karaoke.
• The "southern boy" was fucking handsome as hell. He said he was 42 but looking no older than his late twenties. He wouldn't leave me alone and was really upset that when we went to leave I just waved bye. He made me shake his hand and give him a "bro" hug too.
• The "southern boy" also exposed me to Bluegrass covers of Metallica. EPIC!
• TJ blew chunks all over the bathroom door but no one knew it was him. The Karaoke DJ later mentioned how gross a person would have to be to blow chunks on the door, but more specifically the door handle.

Yeah. Last night was awesome.

I try to stay hopeful and keep my chin up. It gets hard however to do that when you feel so disconnected from the people you love.

It doesn't help that I've got no family near me. My Mother moved to Florida six years ago and it has been really hard on me. A year before she moved I learned I was adopted and as a result our bond grew stronger.

When it gets to be too much I just open iTunes listen to some Beatles, Black Moth Super Rainbow, Paul Potts, and random classical pieces and I begin to feel better. Then I reflect on all the kind things that have been said about me and focus on the great times I have had with the people in my life. That dark and stormy cloud starts to develop a silver lining and once again I am smiling.

Anyways I guess I am rambling on to the wrong crowd.