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webmail716

37 / M / Straight / Seeing someone

San Diego, California

His journal posts

How to make friends ?

Mar 8, 2011

The reason I'm writing this journal entry is because I've found myself in an uncomfortable spot in life that I'd like to avoid in the future. I just got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship, and I have no social life. Before the breakup, I would spend 3+ days a week with my girlfriend and her daughter. Now I have a large amount of free time that I dont know what to do with, and I'm finding myself to be quite lonely. I know I'm a funny and interesting guy with a lot to offer, but how do I convey that to strangers ? I'm not looking to get into a relationship right now, or even start dating. I'm just looking for friends. The problem is I can't seem to find any site on the internet that can help me to make new friends. The process of becoming friends with someone is a long one, consisting of regular and frequent communication, especially at the start of a relationship when it is just getting established. I've tried meetup groups, and they seem to work ok, but they're not that great for building or maintaining the relationship; just for initiating it. Which brings me to my only hypothesis: I think Facebook is the way to make new friends. It seems odd to me at first, because Facebook is supposed to be for people you are already friends with. The reason I think Facebook is useful for making new friends is because it allows you a glimpse into whats going on in the other persons life, without being obtrusive about it. You can comment on what other people are doing, find things that you have in common with, and build the relationship thru a slow series of online interactions. I think Facebook takes the burden out of building a relationship by allowing you to build and maintain one online, and then you can further cement the relationship by meeting in person. 

This leaves me with one final question - How do you find someone you might want to be friends with, and get them to add you as a friend on facebook, before you're really even friends ?

I'd love anyones comments on this. For someone who is naturally introverted, making friends is hard. I'd love help on this.

Jason

The reason I'm writing this journal entry is because I've foundmyself in an uncomfortable spot in life that I'd like to avoid inthe future. I just got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship, and I haveno social life. Before the breakup, I would spend 3+ days a weekwith my girlfriend and her daughter. Now I have a large amount offree time that I dont know what to do with, and I'm finding myselfto be quite lonely. I know I'm a funny and interesting guy with alot to offer, but how do I convey that to strangers ? I'm notlooking to get into a relationship right now, or even start dating.I'm just looking for friends. The problem is I can't seem to findany site on the internet that can help me to make new friends. Theprocess of becoming friends with someone is a long one, consistingof regular and frequent communication, especially at the start of arelationship when it is just getting established. I've tried meetupgroups, and they seem to work ok, but they're not that great forbuilding or maintaining the relationship; just for initiating it.Which brings me to my only hypothesis: I think Facebook is the wayto make new friends. It seems odd to me at first, because Facebookis supposed to be for people you are already friends with. Thereason I think Facebook is useful for making new friends is becauseit allows you a glimpse into whats going on in the other personslife, without being obtrusive about it. You can comment on whatother people are doing, find things that you have in common with,and build the relationship thru a slow series of onlineinteractions. I think Facebook takes the burden out of building arelationship by allowing you to build and maintain one online, andthen you can further cement the relationship by meeting inperson. 

This leaves me with one final question - How do you find someoneyou might want to be friends with, and get them to add you as afriend on facebook, before you're really even friends ?

I'd love anyones comments on this. For someone who is naturallyintroverted, making friends is hard. I'd love help on this.

Jason

How to make friends ?
An image of Jenn1744 Do you like to play cards? I play cribbage on Yahoo Games and I've met lots of people on there, some of them I've been friends with for years. You can chat while you play so it's a great way to meet people. Good luck! :) PS There are tons of games to choose from on Yahoo, I really like to play Literati (Scrabble) as well.

Jenn1744 commented on Mar 8, 2011

An image of Sophia1972 Hi Jason You must have a hobby, right? Try finding some groups (Maybe on Meetup.com) in your area with the same interests and go from there. When you meet people you connect with over a common interest it'll be easier to ask them if they're on Facebook and suggest you add each other. Try waiting a couple of weeks (or months depending on how often the group meets) if you're too shy to go over to someone right away. It'll give you more time to observe people and get to know them better before you approach them. Hope you can use this advice. Good luck! /S1972

Sophia1972 commented on Mar 8, 2011