Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When I was 26, I took a standby flight to London and never
returned. I had a lot of adventure and went to over 60 countries,
learned some languages and had a great time living out of a
backpack for 10 years. I sort of define myself as a traveller, but
really I've been in Byron Bay so long now I'm not sure that is
Kids put an end to my wanderlust, or perhaps I just did all I
wanted to do. I've lived in Byron Bay for 20 years now. Landed here
on a whim because my partner was pregnant and we had heard you
could have water births in the ocean with dolphins... well it
wasn't like that, but we did do the home birth in water.
Babies don’t lend themselves to the kind of travel life I enjoyed
with my partner so we made another life here. And, with little
effort we had another baby. Today, my daughter is on her travel
journey currently working at a pub in London and my son is living
with me finishing his last year of high school.
I started my own business thinking it would lead to travel, but
it's done the opposite - I became tied to my computer and phone.
When my business was really successful I let it consume me. Then, I
had a mid-life crisis where I lost interest in just about
everything. I separated with my partner after 20 years. I went away
for 6 months and the business ticked along. I came back and worked
it some with much less passion. 4 years later, I’m single, my
business continues to tick along with little effort and I have time
Life is pretty great. My biggest worry seems to be how many days
between good surf. Staying active and fit has become my main theme
in life; seems like that, more than money will take me thru the
next stages of life with the best outcomes.
I like to play at sports. Currently re-discovering surfing and
running 3 times a week. I would like to dance more and in the
perfect world I would do something like walk from Varanasi to
Rishikesh or perhaps 'that' trail going from France to Spain. I
watch the Tour de France and think wouldn't it be wild to get back
on a bike and tour the world. But, the lazy part of me seems pretty
content. I go to the beach and marvel at the beauty, see great
local bands and enjoy running through the coastal rain forest and
then I wonder whether I really need to go anywhere.
In fact, I feel at this time in my life that I’m just pretty
But here I am on OkCupid – yes I am a sexual man. I recently did a
course called Quodoushka which was a Spiritual Sexuality retreat
based on teachings from Native American Indians as well as many
elements of new age sexuality. It was full of interesting
information as well as a great way to meet people. The course was
an honest look at sexuality. What do people want? Are they all the
same? I’m not saying this because I’m into weird kinky sex stuff.
It is more a question of relationships and how different and yet
normal all these differences can be.
What I am discovering is that I’m not alone in wanting significant
and genuine relationships that are not exclusive. I am not
searching for a ‘life partner’ and yet I very much enjoy the
company of women. I have something to offer that is more than sex,
but sex is still the juice that seems to make life just that much
I’m still working this out, but it seems important to be up front
because I know many people are here looking for that special person
to grow old with. Not me.
I would like to meet someone and have a causal relationship that
may or may not go anywhere long term. In fact, I need to rediscover
my sexuality in a happy, healthy and fun way. I would like to kiss
someone passionately in the park and have the world around me
disappear... to feel the tingle of excitement and touch of a
woman... to get lost in the scent and passion. I’m into learning
how to be a better lover as I meet people with an open and honest
I've come out of a 20 year relationship. I know what relationships
are in both their high and low moments. At this time, I’m just not
ready to be committed to anyone and yet I want to feel how life can
be elevated in those rare moments of discovery.
Maybe that works for you or maybe not. Fortunately, I know I’m not
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Well, I seem to be doing my best to avoid work (in fact I should be
sending out invoices now). At the moment I seem to be working about
4 hours a week, but I am always on call should someone really need
me, which makes it feel like I work more than I do.
If the surf is up, I’m in the water. I’ve just ordered a new
surfboard which should be finished any day now – perhaps this will
be my next love affair. ;)
I enjoy playing at various things and my ultimate goal is to stay
fit and strong. I just had a birthday at the end of November.
I’m enjoying doing workshops and courses based on understanding
myself and others as well as learning to be a better lover. A
recent class on called The Art and Science of Female Arousal blew
me away because it gave me so much new information on a subject I
had thought I knew... just goes to show you that you can teach an
old dog new tricks. But as they say, practice, practice, practice.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm really good at riding my bike in the dark. I have good night
vision and I like the excitement of dialing up all the senses to
compensate with not seeing everything completely. I also use to be
really good at skiing in white outs. I lived in the French Alps and
skied in every condition. There would be days with lots of fresh
snow, but no visibility. I had skied the mountains so often that I
could sort of imagine my place on the hill based on contour and
landmarks like roads. What made it really exciting were the high
areas where there were crevasses - i would know to stay left for
example and avoid them, but every now and again something would go
wrong and then you realize you're actually a bit lost. I love that
I also throw a mean frisbee. I enjoy languages - wouldn't mind
having a go at speaking French again. Despite being a bit of a nut,
I think i'm a pretty good dad.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall (6'4") and I'm American. That is when they see me. In
fact, living here in Byron Bay which is full of young beautiful
people - I often feel invisible. People don't generally bump into
me and I doubt I could go into the back of the bank and get money,
but still I feel invisible. Would like to be seen more. I use to be
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like historical fiction, Cormac McCarthy, Michael Connelly,
Steinbeck, Robin Hobb, Richard K Morgan, Ursula K. Le Guin. Getting
back into Sci-fi after a long rest. Always like a good historical
fiction. Can you have a favourite book? Maybe Grapes of Wrath, The
Great Gatsby, or The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy. I have a Kindle
and read a lot.
Any movie with Adrien Brody - he picks such cool movies. Really
enjoyed The Descendents with George Clooney and generally like
Sci-Fi movies as well as action, but I like any good movie. I
thought Breaking Bad, Boston Legal, West Wing and Life were great
tv shows. Sadly I get most of my news from the Daily Show and
Colbert, but I also really like Q&A and Insight. Treme is great
- love the music and idea. Newsroom... why isn't reality. Men of a
Certain Age... I can relate! Orange is the New Black, House of
Cards, Mom, True Detective .... yeah I probably watch too much
I usually go to the Blues Festival here in Byron Bay - this year
was amazing - Santana was the greatest, Paul Simon... well of
course, Iggy Pop was an animal, Steve Miller and Jimmy Cliff were
more interesting than I expected, Seth Lakeman did an incredible
one man thing, and so much more. Did the 5 days and loved it rain
Seems to only listen to Spotify now which makes just about anything
you can think of immediately available. Currently listening to
Chicken Lips, Basement Freaks, All Good Funk Alliance and Fort Knox
Five. I like a lot of different music - White Strips, Art Pepper,
Coltrane, Buddy Guy, John Lee Hooker, Nirvana, and soooo much more.
I like to dance, but I'm not good at couples dancing (salsa, tango,
etc) - too complicated. Favourite dancing is reggae or dub. Prefer
what my daughter calls 'hippy dancing' at a country hall or at 5
Rthyms. Try to dance 2 or 3 times a week - great exercise.
I like most food - Asian as well as burgers. Could live on pasta
and pizza. Eat way too much bread out of shear laziness. I can eat
meat or vegetarian. Probably tend to salty more than sweet.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Exercise - that silly kind where you're trying to land a frisbee in
an exact spot on a windy day, running through a forest barefoot in
the rain, catching a wave in clear warm water,
My Kindle - always reading something,
Conversation - I seem to have opinions on everything and love to be
shocking and irreverent,
Challenge and Adventure - drawn to taking risks and going off try
new things. Love to travel on a one way ticket and see what
Movies - yep I love getting lost in a good story and I’m as happy
on the wild ride of action as the intellectual journey,
Kissing and Touch - love that feeling of getting out of the mind
and into my body through the touch of a woman’s lips and the press
of naked skin. Letting the 5 senses take over from the chattering
mind and being in the now – that amazing rhythmic connection of
permission to let all the barriers fall and just be with
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Good question! The answer to this one changes 10 times a minute.
Statistically, I’m a guy so at least 8 of those 10 thoughts are
about sex, but that is too obvious and too boring to relate.
Ever feel like you’re on the cusp of something, but don’t know what
it is ... yet? I feel poised and ready for something. Something
GREAT would be nice, but just something that drives me a long
thoughtlessly feeling challenged and interested would be welcome. I
think I’m more into the journey than the destination.
I’m trying to stay open to what comes. Not dwelling too much on the
past nor putting on too much structure that limits the future. I
feel really physically strong and want to keep that momentum going.
Would like to find something physical. Doesn’t have to be work for
Thinking how my life is changing for the better. Sold my house,
streamlined my life and bought a unit in the industrial estate
which feels really good. Looking forward to making it interesting
and inspiring place to live. Yeah! This is going to be fun.
And yes, I have to admit I think about sex A LOT.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I've been going to the Rails in Byron Bay. I've never been a bar
person, but I know a lot of people there and I enjoy dancing when
the band is good. I'm really lucky living where I do because we
always have a great range of live music.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A friend loaned me the book 'The Ethical Slut'. Does that means I
need to work on being more 'ethical' or more 'slutty'?
All joking aside, the book asks some interesting questions. Does
the world revolve around loving one person and does that also mean
that sex needs to be exclusive to one person?
OkCupid has been fun for me. I take comfort from seeing that
everyone is different. Some like adventure while others like
security. Some like dogs while others like cats. Some bow to
authority while others rebel.
I'm excited by the knowledge that we can be different and still
find people that share our beliefs, humour, sense of fairness -
just as some may be tall and others short, young while others are
old (both in spirit and years). Viva La Difference!
I'm now 55. I’ve done most of the ‘stuff’ you’re supposed to do -
I've been married for 20+ years, I have 2 great kids, I’ve run my
own business, I’ve travelled the world and the seven seas. I don’t,
at this age, see myself wanting to do all that again (well maybe
more travel). So it makes sense that I want to live another way. I
don’t know that it works in reality, but I am a rebel and won’t let
social norms tell me right from wrong.
Just saying this will mean many people won’t want to know anything
more about me and that’s just fine. It’s all about weeding out the
people who don’t fit what we are trying to find in life. And
really, doesn’t that make you chuckle a bit because I don’t really
have a clue what I want in life.
Maybe you are breaking out of past social restraints and find life
with great sex is just about the best thing on offer. (and yes,
great sex is completely possible in monogamous relationships as it
can be in non-monogamous relationships).
How do you feel about being intimate and sexual with more than one
person? Does it bring pleasure or pain? Is it possible to be
ethical, supportive, true to yourself, and your friends, and still
embrace the joyous pursuit of sexual adventure and intimacy with
multiple partners? Or, does the very nature of an open lifestyle
mean you are not able to be intimate? Do multiple relationships
mean you are actually closed to deeper connections? I'd like to
think one can be open to all that comes without that causing a
backlash of closing down, but I don't have much experience.
Maybe it is something interesting to discuss? What do you
And yes, I still like to go barefoot everywhere. :)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I've just been re-reading my profile. Phew, that has become quite a
long story. Seems like my recurring theme is Viva la Difference!
Clearly not everyone is a match and that is what we should expect.
But, what is a match? Is it having a high 'Match rating' or a low
'Enemy rating'... I don't know.
I love nothing better than being spontaneous! If you'd like to meet
for a coffee and have a chat about the nature of life, or
whatever... send me a message.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.