Kids put an end to my wanderlust, or perhaps I just did all I wanted to do. I've lived in Byron Bay for 20 years now. Landed here on a whim because my partner was pregnant and we had heard you could have water births in the ocean with dolphins... well it wasn't like that, but we did do the home birth in water.
Babies don’t lend themselves to the kind of travel life I enjoyed with my partner so we made another life here. And, with little effort we had another baby. Today, my daughter is on her travel journey currently working at a pub in London and my son is living with me finishing his last year of high school.
I started my own business thinking it would lead to travel, but it's done the opposite - I became tied to my computer and phone. When my business was really successful I let it consume me. Then, I had a mid-life crisis where I lost interest in just about everything. I separated with my partner after 20 years. I went away for 6 months and the business ticked along. I came back and worked it some with much less passion. 4 years later, I’m single, my business continues to tick along with little effort and I have time to play.
Life is pretty great. My biggest worry seems to be how many days between good surf. Staying active and fit has become my main theme in life; seems like that, more than money will take me thru the next stages of life with the best outcomes.
I like to play at sports. Currently re-discovering surfing and running 3 times a week. I would like to dance more and in the perfect world I would do something like walk from Varanasi to Rishikesh or perhaps 'that' trail going from France to Spain. I watch the Tour de France and think wouldn't it be wild to get back on a bike and tour the world. But, the lazy part of me seems pretty content. I go to the beach and marvel at the beauty, see great local bands and enjoy running through the coastal rain forest and then I wonder whether I really need to go anywhere.
In fact, I feel at this time in my life that I’m just pretty content.
But here I am on OkCupid – yes I am a sexual man. I recently did a course called Quodoushka which was a Spiritual Sexuality retreat based on teachings from Native American Indians as well as many elements of new age sexuality. It was full of interesting information as well as a great way to meet people. The course was an honest look at sexuality. What do people want? Are they all the same? I’m not saying this because I’m into weird kinky sex stuff. It is more a question of relationships and how different and yet normal all these differences can be.
What I am discovering is that I’m not alone in wanting significant and genuine relationships that are not exclusive. I am not searching for a ‘life partner’ and yet I very much enjoy the company of women. I have something to offer that is more than sex, but sex is still the juice that seems to make life just that much more interesting.
I’m still working this out, but it seems important to be up front because I know many people are here looking for that special person to grow old with. Not me.
I would like to meet someone and have a causal relationship that may or may not go anywhere long term. In fact, I need to rediscover my sexuality in a happy, healthy and fun way. I would like to kiss someone passionately in the park and have the world around me disappear... to feel the tingle of excitement and touch of a woman... to get lost in the scent and passion. I’m into learning how to be a better lover as I meet people with an open and honest heart.
I've come out of a 20 year relationship. I know what relationships are in both their high and low moments. At this time, I’m just not ready to be committed to anyone and yet I want to feel how life can be elevated in those rare moments of discovery.
Maybe that works for you or maybe not. Fortunately, I know I’m not alone.