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wellsalted

36 Portland, OR Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–42
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:34pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Drugs
Often
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$150,000–$250,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am an unrepentant omnivore, author of bad limericks, Sailor with no tattoos, drunk in the gutter when appropriate, an aficionado of slang in the modern American lexicon, wine snob as far as to request that it come in a bottle and not a box, fair to moderate welder, brother and super proud uncle, liberal, design geek, I have shooting guard size with no jump shot, I have been arrested on three different continents, I think a dousing of Tapatio improves just about any meal, a glimpse in my closet leaves no doubt that I am a clothes horse, I am a fifth generation Oregonian and proud of it, I like stinky cheese, bad jokes, and rambling on to ad nauseum. Kids make me laugh, Sushi makes me smile, I am a happy person
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work as an engineering officer on large container ships, and oil tankers, Basically I make big engines go, ensuring a steady supply of crude to the west coast and all the lead encrusted toys from china make it to the nearest wal-marts shelves

When I'm not in the middle of the ocean I like to play basketball badly, travel the globe seeking out new and strange foods that I can't say no to, get drunk and float down rivers on inner tubes, Work on restoring a 26ft wooden boat that my pops conned me into being half owner of, and restore/remodel a 100 year old church that I conned myself into being complete owner of.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fixing things,
big or small it's what I do

When called upon I can do an almost spot on Peewee Herman dance on a bar top

Making sweeping generalizations that are offensive, amusing and sometimes disturbingly true e.g. girls who wear sunglasses with white frames are bitches. Never trust a man with a beard and no mustache. Changing the music from jazz to blues always improves the situation. Guys who drive; old jeeps=cool, new jeeps=asshole. anyone who plays the mandolin is just like a man with a beard and no mustache, not to be trusted! Girls rocking door knocker earrings = delicious.

Explaining the genius of the internal combustion engine to English and Philosophy majors.

Having the handwriting a of drunk chicken in third grade.

Welling up with tears at all super cheesy the Hallmark moments in movies.

Stitching up gaping wounds in the middle of the ocean. Ok honestly, I'm only proficient at this, but when the chief mate is so nervous and can't keep his hands steady, I become a really great option.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall
I'm loud
I'm an ectomorph
I gesticulate wildly
I don't have much of a filter
If I haven't offended I'll have you in stitches
an inane amount of trivia is stored in my noggin
oh shit I can't find my car keys again
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: well here's a start Enders Game, Cannery Row, Moby Dick, Lolita, Babbitt, The Shipping News, A fortune Teller Told Me, Middle Sex, Carter Beats the Devil.......

Movies: Dr. Strange Love, Blade Runner, Death to Smoochey, Better off Dead, Ben-Hur, Raising Arizona, Once Upon a Time In The West, The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Cold Comfort Farm, Auntie Mame, Repo Man, anything involving zombies

Music: Lately weird glitchy synthy crap that evokes old 80's video games.

Food: Pescado tacos, Mangoes, Bacon,ginger beer, gazpacho, Newcastle, and Rhubarb.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The constellation of delightful pork products at the butcher shop.
my passport
Oregon in August
my tailor
bottles of hot sauce with pictures of dudes with sombreros on the label.
the latest issue of the Economist and Make.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Where and when I will get my next fix of fish tacos and rhubarb pie.

Monetary policy, global finance, and other things I only have tenuous grasp on, as my education lies within the field of macro machines not macro economics.

Codifying my own personal politics in a more objective logical manner. I lean towards being a libertarian but have extreme reservations about the infallibility of Adam Smith, and Milton Friedman. I also realize that I have human frailties unlike Howard Roark , John Galt or any other of Ayn Rand's Uberman characters who go through life so stoic and inflexible. Does that make me a liberaltarian, whatever the hell that means?
Or should i just say that I believe in science?

If the back yard chickens that are so en vogue with the hippy set will ultimately be earths salvation? No not, because of any kind of carbon footprint reduction but instead being the root cause of an outbreak of an especially virulent form of avian flue that knocks off 30% of the global population which leads to the halting of global warming.

Silly and capricious new years resolutions.
past years: eat more mango, wear more argyle, embrace rhubarb,
This years, spread the gospel of seersucker
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
out; to sea or maybe on the town, but hopefully not, of beer, Tapatio, tacos, and pie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I buy genetically modified food on purpose in order to support the industry, in hopes that they will eventually get around to creating miniature pet hippopotamuses, and some sort of mango pineapple hybrid.

Everyone else, can have as much organic locally grown quinoa as they want, I'll be eating mutant corn chips. eventually I'll have the last laugh, as I sit in a lounge chair eating a delicious pine-ango throwing tennis balls into my pool, for my mini hippo Mort to fetch.

Ive realized David Sedaris is the Garrison Keillor of the gays. Unobjectionably mildly amusing, and tedious to the point of nausea.

I hate your Subaru.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
First off you're wicked smart, full of sass and come with a double helping of moxie. More? sure why not, a sense of the absurd would be great. Oh and good shoes.Lordy lordy has many a fine foot in this metropolitan area been cursed by that glob of ugly known as Birkenstock/croc/clog/ugg boot. A sharp wit is admirable and a dark sense of humor would definitely keep you from getting offended every time I open my mouth. A Dislike of the suburbs and their Ilk would bring a smile to my face. And if you have a thing for modern design, well then I'm yours.

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