Introducing... just simply, the most decent, fun-loving, wonderful guy you'll ever hope to meet here, no bull! Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!
But wait! There's more! Click the reply button and say hello to find out more! Our operator is standing by!
(Disclaimer: We apologize in advance for the somewhat clumsy messages our lone operator often sends out, he's still is--and could possibly be forever in training for this sort of thing. That is, until he finds someone on some crazy online dating site we heard he's on... but not to worry, we'll quickly fire him once that lucky event happens. So we appreciate it if you could give him some slack if you could please. We love that guy, he's a good man... by the way, you should see him in person... he's uh kinda cute, *ahem*... we know, we thought differently too when we saw those goofy pictures he kept sending us... but really, he has this charming quality to him that you'll only discover when you get to know him in person... oh, sorry, so anyway, we appreciate your kind consideration and we hope to hear from you soon!)