Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

wenzer

38 Chicago, IL Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:33am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Asian, White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Vegetarian
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Often
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
6/28/14 - I reactivated this account temporarily to show this site to a friend, but I'm not really here and there's a high probability any messages you send me right now will go unread.

Sorry folks, but this is not the profile you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along.
----
12/27/13 - Wow. My account was deleted because of complaints about my pics, and was just restored today. I wouldn't have figured the OkC community to be so prudish. Oh well, keeping it G-rated for now.

Heading back to tropical Chicago in a few days... so long California!

----
Pics will keep coming until I stop having fun with them. I'm not desperate and I'm not looking for random hookups. My body is large, soft, and squishy, and the full body pictures reflect that. I'm comfortable with my squishiness and have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, and that's all it is.

Anyway, these pics show the current state of the meatsuit that is wrapped around the person described in the self-reflective bolus below. Whether we end up connecting for a casual encounter, Skype chats across the country, bs back and forth via message tool or start hanging out platonically, here's the person you're connecting with - in excessive detail. I'm interested in knowing as much about you. And no, I don't want to go steady with you.

Now, on to the self-summarizing. Let's see. Some ingredients...

1) I'm an atheist. The term agnostic technically works as well, but I prefer atheist. I am without theistic beliefs. The only thing I know for certain on this subject is that every description of a supreme being or "higher power" that I've heard so far caps out my personal hooey-meter. Some choose to anthropomorphize nature or the laws of physics; I don't. To me, the universe is utterly amazing, beautiful and awe-inspiring, and life is just one part of that - a poetic side effect of particle physics at work, if you will. Who needs deities? I can respect the origins of religion and mythology, and the search for some kind of spiritual connection to everything that is not-you, but for me...I am that I am. Which is a happy and content atheist.

2) I'm a vegetarian. I suppose ovo-lacto vegetarian is more descriptive. I've been a vegetarian for almost 25 years since I had a bit of a Soylent Green moment while stuffing my face with a cheese-dog, but I'm happy to say that my soapbox has been in deep storage for the last 20. I'm not a health nut by any means (see aforementioned body pics) and the decision was made from the "gut" region of my brain - I could debate either side of the To Meat or Not To Meat argument just for funsies. I'm also an animal lover, which kinda falls under this category. Not in the kinky sense, although there was this one time back in high school...

3) I'm a stoner. Even when I'm going through a period of not actively doing any drugs. Like atheism and vegetarianism, it's kind of a core part of my self-identity. Which I hadn't really realized before writing it down just now. Interesting. I'm starting to think everyone should do a self-summary every now and then just to see what pops up. And no, I'm not stoned at the moment although I will probably spark up as soon as I'm done here. See? Stoner.

4) I'm a gamer. I love games of all types, except the ones involving emotional manipulation of others or a lot of outdoor physical activity. So basically video games, board games, card games, word games, brainteasers and logic puzzles. I can easily sink 12 hours straight into a game like WoW or Skyrim, and I seriously geek out over Boggle.

5) I'm a writer. Who doesn't write anymore, other than overly verbose online profiles. The last short story I finished was probably in high school. Writer's block is a bitch...

6) I'm a lefty. Politically, not handedly. Although that would be way cool. I used to be a bit of a C-SPAN junkie, and have volunteered for both Ralph Nader and Howard Dean in my idealistic youth. Lately I keep my head buried pretty firmly in the sand, however. I'm a fairly sensual person in general but a good way to turn me off completely is to start spouting conservative talking points. Move along Fox News fans, nothing to see here.

So, that up thar is me in a nutshell. As for what I'm looking for...new friends only right now, of any gender/orientation, who have a dark sense of humor and don't take any of this too seriously. Hit me up if you live near Boystown and have dogs! My pup needs friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing again. Randomness for the most part, stuff that needs to come out before the stories do.

Thinking it's probably time to start looking for a paying job again.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Underachieving. Writing long-winded profiles. Finding amusement in anything and everything.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My hair. It's noticeable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Beefing this section back up again because...I'm bored right now.

Book: Bridge of Birds, Phantoms in the Brain, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hailstones and Halibut Bones, Calvin and Hobbes, and almost anything by Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Bill Bryson or Shel Silverstein...

Movie: The Nines (more for concept than execution), Watership Down, Flipped, The Usual Suspects, Amadeus, Serenity, Star Trek ('09) and Transformers ('86)...

TV show: Firefly, Bones, The Boondocks, The Daily Show, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Scrubs...

Music: Tracy Chapman, P!nk, RHCP...

Game: City of Heroes, RIP. All Fallouts other than Tactics, Dragon Age, Skyrim, Fable II, Infocom games (particularly HHGTTG), Temple of Apshai, Boggle...

Food: Thai green curry with coconut milk, sesame noodles with spicy peanut sauce, pesto lasagna, and subjugating rice. I love to cook.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Things that I'd prefer not to do without:

A dog (currently this role is filled by my Saluki-mix, Spudnik)
A passport
Cheese
My fingers
Hot chai
At least one day a week away from other people to just chill and recharge my batteries
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
A variety of subjects, from light to dark. The nature of cognition. Wishing there was an off-switch, but one that was somehow able to be flipped back on even from an off-state. How much of an impact what you say in your profile (and how you say it) has on someone else's first impression of you if they actually read it, and how it seems the vast majority of people (men?) just don't. Pictures really are worth a thousand words on here. Funny.

Blank or sparse profiles. They're a huge turnoff to me. I like to read, and I'm very interested in seeing what people choose to write. If you want to keep your profile and pics bare because you're worried about people you know seeing you on here, or because you can't think of anything to say, I most likely won't be interested in chatting or meeting.

The Dominance/submission spectrum.

How it's a shame that more guys don't wear guyliner.

Simultaneously carrying tea and no tea.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Not noticing that it's Friday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm terrible at dirty talk. Can't do it. It feels silly to me when I try and about the furthest thing from sexy.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You live in Boystown, and have dogs.

You think smoking up and playing Boggle sounds like a grand old time.

You feel like it, and won't get too bent out of shape if I'm not feeling a response.

You recognize that sending a one-line message, particularly one along the lines of "yo sexy, wanna smoke up and make out?" will most likely not elicit a response.

You've seen me visit your profile, and you are interested in chatting. I show my visitation deliberately. I occasionally send first messages, but I think they must be off-putting ones because I rarely get a response when I send first messages.

You're my huckleberry.