Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(Please be patient on a response, my box is hella full.) Pun
Every man is not created equal and the dating journey allows us to
fine-tune our list of wants and needs, thereby giving each of us a
customized list of dealbreakers. I'm a huge breaker of the deals...
and have small and odd reasons for doing so. And while each woman
has her own completely legitimate (no matter how quirky!) set of
criteria – can’t pee all over the floor, must love old skool rap,
should have a good relationship with his family, loves to fish, is
charming, prefers beer to wine, and so on, there are certain
conditions beyond honesty, respect and good communication (the
trifecta of any relationship foundation) that every woman no matter
what their taste in men is, deserves to have in her life’s
co-pilot. Here’s a checklist for what you should get from your man:
1. Patience, generosity and consideration. These are the triplets
of kindness, each one of equal importance and none much good
without the others. Patience comes through in a man who can deal
with tension calmly and productively, looking at life’s challenges
as opportunities to teach and to learn. Generosity of mind, spirit,
heart, wealth, time – anything you want to share (even dessert!) –
your guy must want to share equally with you. And finally, your man
should be considerate of your feelings, your time and your goals.
He should be considerate how his decisions impact you. 2. A safe
place to be 100% YOU. In a healthy relationship, you should feel
safe, liberated and loved enough to be who you are – all the
dimensions of your being – all the time… figuratively naked. So if
that means you are a buttoned-up badass by day but by night someone
who dances around singing into a hairbrush, so be it, a forever guy
will not only allow it, he will love it. 3. Utter adoration. Inside
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I separated from the Air Force in 2009, after a very long TEN years
of being an Air Traffic Controller and am currently retired. I'm a
full time student (Marketing major), bla bla bla. I LOVE school,
I'd like to think I'm intelligent, and I enjoy learning new shit.
I'm not a runner, but I ran the Rock n' Roll Marathon and as far as
I'm concerned, that shit is checked off my bucket list and there's
no need to do that again. I like to whack balls at the driving
range whenever I get the chance, and not without a few smuggled PBR
tall boys in my purse. My health is very important to me, but I
don't spend 100 hours a week in the gym. My dream life would be to
sell all my shit and find an amazing man to continent hop with for
a few years... maybe semi-settle down in a coastal town of Italy
and work on our tans. I have the ability to do so now... but I
don't wanna go alone. *sad face*
- I have a pug/yorkie/ewok/mongrel named Pork Chop, she's pretty
much the shit and if you think she's sleeping in a dog bed at
night, you're crazy. She sleeps in my bed... sometimes hogging
2/3's of it, but that's how we roll.
- I climbed the summit of St. Helens a couple years ago and came to
the conclusion that climbing huge boulderous volcanos is NOT
tight-butthole 👌. I summited Fuji as well, but that was years ago,
and I'd most definitely, probably never do that again either.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-I feel like I'm a decent writer... but I'm type A. I erased and
re-wrote this section like eight times.
-Finding little ways to remind you how special you are to me...
Hearts in the mirror while you're in the shower, in the dirt on the
rear window of your car, with my carrot and celery sticks... notes
hidden in random places, mix tapes... etc., <3
-Not being clingy
-Drunken karaoke. Ha.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I look a lot like last seasons Bachelorette.
FYI., I didn't watch it, but I know who the beezy is.
...that I'm a ginger. Ask about "the carpet matching the drapes",
see how well that works for ya.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Its Always Sunny, Kenny Fu-king Powers, SOA, Curb, Workaholics is
tight butthole, Traffic Light, Arrested Development, Entourage,
Investigate ID, Mad Men, Louis, The League, Boardwalk Empire,
Anything NatGeo, Discovery, or History channel, Breaking Bad.
I don't like top 40, I like rap from the 90's, the filthier, the
better)...I saw Brotha Lynch Hung last Wednesday, HEAVEN! I have a
sweet spot for country, but not all the time. I'm a chick, I like
Britney Spears and Gaga.
I love food, period. I eat a lot, and a lot of just about anything.
I'm still kinda squeamish about sushi, but I can fully handle the
standards such as salmon and tuna. Nothing that's still moving or
has tentacles. I love spicy, and love fresh veggies... I love good
coffee and cheap beer.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-Dirty ass rap (ie., Too $hort, Pac, Biggie, Brutha Lynch Hung,
Eazy E, Dre, Lil Kim, Mystikal...)
-Pork Chop. If you don't like small dogs (16 lbs of amazingness),
I'm afraid we aren't going to work out.
-Fashion mags/blogs. Yes, really.
-Food, pizza more specifically.
-Water, I drink the shit out of it...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much longer I can put off getting a cat.
Imaging what hell is like. Like, I imagine you have to watch every
movie sex scene with your parents.
Traveling (I've been to 34 countries and I'm NOT done!) and when
the hell am I going to get my happy ass to the following (but not
limited to) places???
Oh yeah, I'm not allowed into Canada, so don't ever try to surprise
me with a romantic getaway to Vancouver for the weekend.
The Great Pyramid of Giza
The Great wall of China
The Leaning Tower
Statue of Zeus
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wondering which wine I should pair with "sitting on my couch while
binge eating tacos".
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Maybe it makes me shallow, but I don't care...
Your Affliction shirts, tribal tats (unless you're actually in a
tribe), white sunglasses, white watches, white hats, and puka shell
necklaces are DEAL BREAKERS. Sorry, go Tap-Out somewhere else,
I'm a 49ers fan.
Mankind is my favorite wrestler.
Also, please don't live with your parents.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Any of these things sounds fun to you...
• A HJ on the Great Wheel
. Baking cookies together.
. Getting up extra early to watch the sunrise and making breakfast
. Watching little league games
. Turning off the phones for the night to watch an entire season of
our favorite TV show
. Going for a long drive
. Sneaking a flask into a Planetarium (or anywhere actually,
. Holding hands through an Art gallery (with flasks)
. Play board games in our pj's
. A friendly dance off in the living room
. Don our finest plaid pants and whack balls at the driving
. Weather permitting, Build a snowman
. Have a carpet picnic
. Fill our pockets full of tokens and tear up an arcade
. Allow yourself to be a kid again in a haunted house (be prepared
for lots of ass grabbing)
. Wear matching jerseys and head to a game, go
Hawks/M's/Sounder's/49ers!! (Yes, you read that correctly)
. Visit a psychic, why not?
. Grab a pint at an Irish pub
. TP the neighborhood.
I actually have a million more, but you get the idea. ; )
PS. Dave Matthews is gay.
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