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35 Tallahassee, FL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–44
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 6:12pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Open relationship
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Live your life how you want, but don't mistake drama for happiness." Oh Ron Swanson, you're so wise.

Caffeine addict. Beer snob. Tinkerer. Reader. Rapt student of the weird shit people do. Lover of the natures. Hammocker. Mountain bike nerd. Poolhall junkie (ex-pat). INTP. Visual/kinesthetic learner. Solar powered. Lover of puppies.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
So much classwork. Unlocking the mysteries of society. Staying sane through the miracles of sweat, sunlight, good beer and great company.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fixing all the things. Folding weird and abstract concepts into solid metaphor. Riding bikes in the dirt. I can drop a phone like no one's business. Osculation. Putting words together. Not quite hearing things. Injuring myself in hilarious ways.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a meat popsicle.

The only thing about me is the way I walk.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Gaiman, Pratchett, Herbert, Martin, King, Sagan, Heinlein, Tolkien, Stephenson, McCaffrey, Simmons, and Crichton. I do love me some sci-fi and dragons.

Tremors, Pitch Black, Sunshine, LotR, Garden State. Appleseed, Monty Python, Black Dynamite, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Star Wars, Star Trek, Wristcutters, Secretary, Your Highness, Moonrise Kingdom, The Fountain, Avengers, Ghibli stuff, gory zombie flicks, all those '90s life epiphany movies (SLC Punk, Reality Bites etc). So many.

GoT, Justified, Falling Skies, Girls, Parks & Rec, Breaking Bad, Arrow, and Newsroom are all groovy. The Walking Dead, baby. X-Files, Star Trek, Trueblood, but seriously, don't tell anyone. Actually, basically everything HBO does is good shit. I think The West Wing was one of the best TV shows ever.

All the musics.

All the foods. (But not olives because olives are gross. So gross.)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
If I were to wake up tomorrow, and found certain non-obvious things missing from the universe, I would be sad. I would probably be able to live, but you know, the sadness. Some of those things:

Music! Sushi. The intertrons. Individual agency, baby. Mint M&M's. Late walks. Electricity. Mountain bikes. Quality beer. Fried chicken. Coffee. Humans. Fun socks. Reddit (though honestly I probably have homework to do instead). Bananas. The Oxford comma. Orange soda. And sweet, sweet, sweet potato fries.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Ways to justify buying more tools. Better ways to procrastinate. Why people sweat inside when there's a perfectly good world out there. Apocalypses of many flavors. Ethical non-monogamy. The fate of the English language. The sociology around sexuality, sex education, masculinity, feminism, all that jazz. Being outside when I am otherwise required to be inside. That kind of thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Ruining my Saturday morning? Playing drunken Cranium or Pictionary Telephone or Cards Against Humanity? Watching reruns of The West Wing and eating an entire box of cookies? Fixing something? Homework? Racing against sundown? Killing pixels? What I'm saying is, I'm not entirely sure I have typical Fridays anymore, is what I'm saying.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a secret robot ninja sent here from the future to write cliche responses to online dating profile prompts.

Sometimes I message people with 90% + enemy ratings and challenge them to cardboard tube duels.

Any more than that would spoil considerable amounts of the fun of getting to know each other, I think.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Upfront disclaimer: I'm in a happy, honest, and safe open relationship with a great girl who knocks all my socks off. Therefore, being ok with non-monogamy is pretty key. For the record, while I'm not exactly opposed to those kinds of things, I'm not really looking for quick'n'dirty hookups or threesome partners (the latter of which I'm told is a weirdly common request).

What I am looking for is to meet someone cool to share wisecracks and tasty beer and hijinx with, and all that jazz. Maybe go for a walk or a bike ride, and have unnecessarily long talks on topics including but not limited to the universe, beer, social policy, or literally anything else. If that leads to hot makeouts, excellent (because I love hot makeouts). If not, that is also excellent, because I also love chats with fun people. There's enough pressure in my life, I'm not taking any of it on a date with me :p

So if you're into that, send me a message! Seriously. I couldn't care less about who messages who first and gender stereotypes are lame. Even if it's just a hi, it tells me that you've 1) read this and 2) are ok with my situation. Bonus points for liberalishness, nerd tendencies, and liking the outdoors.