Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


34 Tallahassee, FL Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–44
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Feb 24
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Live your life how you want, but don't mistake drama for happiness." Oh Ron, you're so wise.

Caffeine addict. Beer snob. Tinkerer. Reader. Rapt student of the weird shit people do. Lover of the natures. Hammocker. Bike nerd. Poolhall junkie (ex-pat). INTP. Visual/kinesthetic learner. Solar powered. Human garbage disposal. Lover of puppies. Just so we’re clear, those last two are not related.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
So much classwork. Being a retail slave. Staying sane through the miracles of sweat, sunlight, good booze and better company.

Actually, right now, I'm nursing a torn meniscus. Apparently mud wrestling isn't my sport. (This was a few weeks ago; I still can't run, dance, mountain bike, climb, or operate a clutch, but I can do everything else)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fixing all the things. Riding bikes in the dirt. I can drop a phone like no one's business. Osculation. Putting words together. Not quite hearing things. Injuring myself in hilarious ways (see above)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Gaiman, Pratchett, Herbert, Martin, King, Sagan, Heinlein, Tolkien, Stephenson, Card (homophobe or not, I like his fiction), McCaffrey, Simmons, and Crichton. I do love me some sci-fi and dragons.

Tremors, Pitch Black, Sunshine, LotR, Garden State. Appleseed, Monty Python, Black Dynamite, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Star Wars, Star Trek, Wristcutters, Secretary, Your Highness, Moonrise Kingdom, The Fountain, Avengers, Ghibli stuff, gory zombie flicks, all those '90s life epiphany movies (SLC Punk, Reality Bites etc). So many.

GoT, Justified, Falling Skies, Girls, Parks & Rec, Breaking Bad, Arrow, and Newsroom are all groovy. The Walking Dead, baby. X-Files, Star Trek, Trueblood, but seriously, don't tell anyone. Actually, basically everything HBO does is good shit. I think The West Wing was one of the best TV shows ever.

Music! I dig it. Too much to list.

Food? Yesplz. Hold the olives.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
If I were to wake up tomorrow, and found certain non-obvious things missing from the universe, I would be sad. I would probably be able to live, but you know, the sadness. Some of those things:

Music! Sushi. The intertrons. Individual agency, baby. Mint M&M's. Late walks. Electricity. Mountain bikes. Quality beer. Fried chicken. Coffee. Humans. Fun socks. Reddit (though honestly I probably have homework to do instead). Bananas. The Oxford comma. Orange soda. And sweet, sweet, sweet potato fries.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Ways to justify buying more tools. Why people do all the confusing things they do. Better ways to procrastinate. Apocalypses of many flavors. The fate of the English language. Being outside when I am stuck inside. What's for second breakfast. That kind of thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Ruining my Saturday morning? Playing drunken Cranium or Pictionary Telephone or Cards Against Humanity? Watching reruns of The West Wing and eating an entire box of cookies? Fixing something? Homework? Racing against sundown? Killing pixels? What I'm saying is, I'm not entirely sure I have typical Fridays anymore, is what I'm saying.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a secret robot ninja sent here from the future to write cliche responses to online dating profile prompts.

Sometimes I message people with 90% + enemy ratings and challenge them to cardboard tube duels.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I just want to hang out with someone cool, drink tasty beer, crack wise and make with the hijinx. So, if you're into those things too, send me a lovely message! Bonus points for liberalishness, nerd tendencies, not tasting like asphalt, liking outdoor activities that don’t primarily involve gasoline or killing things, and having a reasonably well-tuned cardiovascular system.