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27 M Portland, OR

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Italian (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Person. A human person. Of the male variety, and 27 years old. Going on 28, if all goes as planned.

Like everyone else on here, I admit that I'm not the best at summarizing myself. But it makes me feel an odd sense of pride that I can't summarize myself very easily. And I feel an odd sense of pride when I feel an odd sense of pride.

I like humor. It's probably one of the most important things in the world. I can't help but respect the fact that we laugh because we don't understand, and, that when we laugh, it's our brain throwing its metaphorical hands in the air and saying fuck it. So...fuck it, and laugh.

I've been on here a while, on and off, though in that time I've probably only successfully arranged a handful of dates. Early on I received the email that says "you're hot" and indicates that I'll now see more attractive people and be shown to more attractive people. I think this shows OKCupid to be pretty damn shallow.

I also get to moderate now, since I've been such a loyal member of this virtual dating pool. Don't know if I'm proud of this fact, exactly, but I mention it to say that I get to read hilarious messages and see terrible pictures that were flagged as inappropriate. On that note, ladies, I appoligize for many of the men on here. Rest assured I will wait a reasonable amount of time before saying, in a sensual whisper of course, "you're hot, lol, wanna fuk?"

I wish there was a modern society in the trees of a giant forest. I'm pretty sure it would be called Treetopolis. Canopia might work too though. I don't know, just sounds amazing.

I write in my spare time, short stories mostly, which I try to post with as much regularity as I can muster on my website.

There are other things about me too. Feel free to request more details.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Striving to be a combination of Malcolm Reynolds and Dale Cooper. With a hint of Jean-Luc Picard.

For cash money, I work as a copywriter for a local float tank business. If you're unfamiliar, float tanks are large sound and light proof tubs filled with warm water that has been saturated with Epsom salt, so you float on the surface with ease. It's basically the most relaxing experience ever, and you'd probably love it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Existing. I barely even have to think about it anymore, though I regularly do anyway just because it's strange I'm even around.

Also, I learn quite well, my brain seems to retain all sorts of random information I come across, making me a great trivia partner. And on that note, I really enjoy board and card games of all sorts, possibly because I am damn good at them.

I also make awesome cookies. Seriously they are delicious and I have the recipe memorized just in case.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I am there to be noticed.

Or that I am on fire (if I am on fire).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - Anything by Vonnegut (especially Sirens of Titan and Player Piano), Calvino (especially If On a Winter's Night a Traveller and Cosmicomics), Kundera (especially The Hitchhiking Game), sociology books (especially from 1960s and earlier, namely Marcuse, Adorno, and Dewey, as they figured a lot of stuff out that no one listened to), philosophy books and essays of all sorts and subject matters.

Food - Italian food speaks to me, perhaps it riles up my Sicilian roots. I love sandwiches. So much, they are perfect food. Cheese and I have a long-time affair going. My sweet tooth is so out of control that I'm surprised I don't have diabetes.

Music - As cliche as it sounds, I like just about everything. Lyrics are super important to me. Either they have to be good or non-existent. I can definitely get behind instrumental music.

Movies - The Fifth Element, I have watched this movie more than any other movie. If it's on, I'll watch it until the end. It's just great.
Dark comedies are right up my alley, especially with a sociological/psychological twist (Visioneers, I <3 Huckabees, Brazil) Also animation movies are amazing to watch when the animation is intricate and beautiful, like in Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Conversations
2. Humor
3. Truth
4. Free Time
5. New Ideas
6. Water
7. Breaking arbitrary rules about the number of things I can mention that I can't do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why people think the way they do.

Words. Words that look and sound like what they are trying to say. Like tangle. Or jungle. And jumble. Also 5-dollar words that are just too perfect not to use when the opportunity presents itself. Like circumvent. Or delineate.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
in between late Thursday and early Saturday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you wanted to, you could kill me pretty easily with a bee sting or two.

But I hope you're not inclined to do so.

I sometimes think about the fact that because of this weakness to bees, if I were a monkey-person in the wild I would almost surely be dead by now.

Also, I once inadvertantly checked out a fire hydrant because out of the corner of my eye I thought it was a woman wearing a sun dress. In my defense, though, it was a pretty hot fire hydrant.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you happen to be susceptible to reverse psychology, then you most definitely shouldn't message me. Don't do it. Seriously, don't message me. I bet you couldn't even if you tried.

If you are immune to reverse psychology, then you should totally message me. I don't exactly know why, but you should.

Also if you want to take me to a river. Anytime, I'm down. Let's go to a river. Lakes also acceptable.