whatsoccurring
29 London, UK
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whatsoccurring
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My self-summary
Like many people on OkCupid, I routinely climb Everest on a Sunday morning before breakfast :) I like dry humoured ambitious people with passion for something(s) in their lives. Bonus points if you can pass a primary school spelling/grammar test and don't own an axe.
What I’m doing with my life
I've been self-employed in online retail for some years now. It's hard work but I love the flexibility it provides, although you have to be strong to avoid slipping into Netflix marathons at inappropriate moments.

I also like history, dinosaurs, Formula One, posting random stuff to people I know and waiting for their reaction, and pushing hipsters in front of moving traffic. I've never been to Thailand, so I won't bore your face off about the life-changing experience I had kissing a monkey underneath a mystic waterfall.

2016 is my official year of self reflection and personal development, and I had joined the gym and read a book a whole month before the New Year! I'm unjustifiably smug about this - let's see if I can escalate the achievements:

December:
I went to a gym class out of curiosity, thinking it would be easy, only to be *destroyed* in body and soul for the next week. I spent Christmas watching Rocky and Mr Motivator videos, developing a masterplan to become the king of the gym.
...Not really, I ate and drank lots of chocolate and Buck's Fizz (gathering my strength for the new year).

January:
- I have overcome magnetic resistance and become the overlord of group cycling class.
- I paired two sets of socks that have been mismatched for the last year, confirming that I can achieve literally anything.
- I read a book about 'Mindfulness', which advocates paying proper attention to the present moment so you can maximise your experience of life. Immediately, on 12th Jan (into your diary please), I discovered a 1 Qatar Riyal note at the top of a tube escalator, equivalent to a stupendous £0.19 at today's exchange rate.
- I discovered a grey hair. This confirms my suspicion that I am in fact a wizard.

February:
- I can't make February start earlier than it's supposed to. Be realistic please.
I’m really good at
- Posting comments on attention-seeking Facebook statuses
- Winning at board games
The first things people usually notice about me
Well, I think it's that I'm very easy to trust, however a good female friend recently described me as "left handed and a twat", so let's go with that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food
All food is good, but sushi is better.

Music
I enjoy most music whilst happily oblivious as to who performs it.
Making long lists of obscure hipster bands seems to be popular here however, and I do want to fit in. Gotta love a bit of Toyboy Sex-Offense Badger Blender :)

Books
The bumper book of bunny suicides.
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/PureZOOKS/clock-bunny1.jpg

TV Shows
Alan Partridge, Breaking Bad, Band of Brothers, Dexter (If the final series never existed), Father Ted, Fawlty Towers, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Michael Palin, Orange is the New Black, Takeshi's castle, The Blue Planet, The Daily Show, The Good Wife, The Office USA, The West Wing.
...Put Michael Palin on a camel and stick him with a camera crew in any bemused country, and I'll be happy.
The six things I could never do without
- The small number of people in our lives who we know we'll know forever
- The freedom to live the lives we want to lead
- Witty, self-deprecating conversation
- The Chris Moyles radio show
- Funny cat videos
- Tu madre
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1. How does Fearne Cotton have a career?
2. At what specific moment does a Nando's become cheeky?
On a typical Friday night I am
Not on fire.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
- I need a haircut.
Update: on 31/12/15 I got a haircut. I'll keep you posted on any further breaking haircut news.

- I believe "The Wetherspoon's Test" is hands-down the best way of discovering how snobby someone is. No, I don't mean for a first date...or do I?
You should message me if
- You are not on fire.
- You have a beautiful mind.
- You can hold your own ground.
- You need me to validate your parking.
- You think you like me like Kanye likes Kanye.
- You recognise the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
- You are seeking your mortal enemy, and believe I could be it.
- You just want to ask how I am. I'm fine thanks :)
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