I know women aren't supposed to admit these things in 2013 but...I LOVE the female privilege and am so grateful it exists. If you meet a woman who says she doesn't like the female privilege, SHE'S DOING IT WRONG!
I am great at seeing the bright side.
Old Jews love me to pieces. I am really the ideal wife for an 84 year-old Jewish man as we have everything in common.
I'm phat, not fat like my picture. I lost 80 pounds in the last year. Know what else? You hear those horrific stories of people meeting each other online and one/both parties don't look like their picture? My picture is pre-bulimia. I don't look like my picture, in a very good way. :)
I cannot relate to most people because I think they are impossibly stupid.
I have impeccable manners and am disappointed about what's happened to basic etiquette in American society.
I am not hot. I am pretty, classically so. I take great care of myself and will look amazing when I am 76. 38 year-old women who proclaim their hotness online are delusional.
My top five are Will Forte, Bill Clinton, Macklemore, Bob Odenkirk and Eric Stonestreet.