39 San Francisco, CA
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My self-summary
i'm pretty busy and having fun with work and various personal projects.

i also have a close friendship that has of late turned into a romance. we are trying to work out what we really want from each other, while also encouraging each other to explore individually. we occasionally have little dalliances with others; we've considered inviting others into our shared orbit but haven't yet tried that.
What I’m doing with my life
my new plan for happiness is Think Less, Do More. (on the east coast i did a lot of brooding; i credit california with this new and effective (if morally dubious) strategy.)

so this means regular exercise (i love cycling -- commuting, day-long group rides, camping -- and also recently figured out what all those torture-devices in the gym are for). a day that starts with a long ride or a good workout can hardly go very badly, no matter what happens at work. i love to keep my body buzzing and aching to be used.

i've also put together a shop for myself to work on bicycles and other metal projects: it is great fun to fix something, and even better to manufacture a new, tangible thing. i have always been picky about details, and it is great to see this attention pay off when something is well-made.

i've also spent many years trying to get computers to do something useful. i've made it a long-term project to help small organizations with tiny or invisible budgets to use computers and the internet to manage and publish information. i really want to de-specialize these information tools so people aren't so dependent on techno-priests to configure things for them. it is hard to get right, but we can do a lot better.
I’m really good at
making things so perfect that they are never completed.
The first things people usually notice about me
i usually blend in pretty well. (i'm not currently in an outrageous-hairdo phase.)

but people seem to get really excited about minor acts of cross-dressing, and go out of their way to say, "I really like your scarf/eye-liner/panties."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
when i come across things i like, i usually muse about how i will make something like it, or better. this often happens in furniture stores. i don't like to buy new things.

i had meant to be a writer, but i don't think i have the psychological fortitude. still, i think i am slowly going crazy, and i may eventually find that i need to write in order to hold it together. the other day i bought the first volume of Shelby Foote's history of the Civil War from some dude on the street, so i think that's what i'm going to read next. (update: awesome. covers both the decision-making at the top and the bleeding-and-dying on the ground. i am pretty obsessed with war stories, and have read a lot about WWII and the U.S. war in Viet Nam. also that Chris Hedges book is great: War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning. if you're wondering what the fascination is, it's not macho "heroism" or anything: war forces a lot of human questions to the fore, and although it is certainly not always pretty and almost never a good idea, it really helps you understand who we are as a species.)

my favorite movie, if you like, is Wong Kar Wai's "Chungking Express". it is as much a painting as it is a story. and it is so sexy in so many ways. (one of my favorite scenes: the stewardess is enjoying a post-coital half-snooze, and he gracefully lands a toy plane on the glistening small of her back.) i like beauty in lots of tiny bits; larger narratives are hard for me to assimilate.

i really like music. really. but i am not a connaisseur (i tried to put in all the good french vowels, but that word still looks wrong), and am not able to list many hip bands here. anyway they all sound like Sonic Youth to me, which is not a bad thing. i studied jazz a bit (playing the drums), and thrill to the recorded conversations that have been made in that cosmopolitan tongue. (i'm sad to be missing the incredible live scene that was brewing in brooklyn when i left it years ago.)

my favorite food is ... rare steak? but it's been awhile: i don't usually eat meat. (except the other day when i ran into some bratwurst; there's still some Wisconsin in me that needs to be fed.) sushi is my other favorite food. and stinky-like-socks cheese. and, uh, apart from all that i'm pretty much vegan!

although i don't have a very developed repertoire of meals, i am very comfortable screwing around in the kitchen and cooking is one of my favorite diversions: a great way to relax at the end of the day, and a great project to share with a sweet someone. give me a good chef's knife, a cast-iron skillet, and a glass of wine, and i'll find a way to make a nice dinner out of whatever is in the cupboards.
The six things I could never do without
freedom of movement. freedom of thought. familiar things to touch. expressions of love. sweat. showers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
where i want to travel next, and where i want to "settle down" one day. i am really a homebody, love to tuck myself into comfortable places and invest in the people there, but then sometimes i get scared that i am dying inside and need to throw myself into some totally alien environment in order to build character and help me make sense of the universe.
On a typical Friday night I am
doing laundry and then screwing around in the shop.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i chose "straight" because i'm not in the mood to entertain the amorous advances of guys at the moment. but my "orientation", if i must have one, is queer. i'm happy to talk about what that means!
You should message me if
you like some of the following: books. bikes. cooking. standing up for things you believe. making awkward art. making anything. touching someone you like. sleeping. staying up late. hiking, sport, dance, or other corporal challenges.

you are not interested in being "normal", just for its own sake. you are not afraid of people because of the way they dress, how or with whom they have sex, what language they speak, or whether they are fortunate enough to sleep indoors. you do not feel that you "deserve" anything, any more than anyone else.

you suspect everything around you is corrupt or meaningless but are determined to make something out of it anyway. (the challenge, i think, is to live with joy and use it to transform your environment, to make it yours.)