You are seriously looking for a solid partner and devoted friend to
grow old together with, and laughing all the way to the psych-ward,
while having crazy-ass monkey sex from our wheelchairs....
*update- Many people are quick to disqualify a profile, myself
included. I don't like to broadcast too much publicly, so ask away
if you have real questions. I prefer to be me rather than "selling"
myself in a profile, otherwise I would cater to the average female
profile and make shit up like how much I love yoga, sushi, mumford
and sons and indie music, Goonies, Twighlight, Mad Men, walks on
the beach, puppies and dark chocolate...ok so I like some of those,
but you get my drift....
** We probably won't get along if you have cats(allegeries), have
grandma triceps, love politics, are angered by me doing jumping
jacks in the buff, or you like the Jets, otherwise I have some
great ideas for our registry :)
caveat update 1.1 9er: below are updates I've added over time, many
ladies appreciate the reality-based humor, while others find the
commentary judgmental, rude, and perhaps a little too close to
home...First off, seeing things through another's point of view is
paramount in all aspects of life, so resect my opinions and move
on. Secondly, my angst is geared toward women, or little girls, who
try so hard to "sell" themselves, it's grossly disappointing. I am
very open minded and love women of all types, if you read closely
you'll find I'm encouraging you to be you. Many dislike my that I
choose to not be with the chemically dependent, tough shit....my
prerogative. I have every right to find the perfect gal for me, so
haters, go get your shinebox...
UPDATE2: Learning what I don't want.... Ladies, I do look at your
pics and I know the tricks. If you have big hips and thighs and
crazyass shelfage show it off, don't offer up the shamefull
"crossed-legs" while standing- frontal pic, and if you have magic
boobs that disappear when the bra comes off, don't advertise..shame
shame, I'll not buying the arial view that maximizes your cleave
and minimizes your muffin top...please God no pucker lips
pics....not hot and you just remind me of the fish that suck on the
tank all day...and WTF is with the obligatory mustache pic? Sorry
ladies I like originality, if you're gonna follow suit, well...then
you're probably special just like everyone else. Now if you're
wearing a wonderwoman costume while grasping an adult toy or simply
wearing a cute summer dress without your face painted up all
jerseyliscious...we might have a shot lol.
UPDATE 3: if you take meds to "regulate" some shit you got going on
between the ears,,,, I am sympathetic, but I'll have to pass....
I've tried dating Cybil and all her personas...they were all
UPDATE 3.0- Ladies, stop taking pics with your really hot friend(s)
!!! It makes us think there's always someone better ;)
And...include some individual shots, I don't have time to sift all
12 pics to find you, the common denominator girl !?!
UPDATE 4.a). If you seriously say something like......" im a
intenegence gurl..". I will hunt you down and slap you with a bag
of scrabble squares!
UPDATE 4.b) WTF is up with the "seeing someone" status. I can
understand if you are the swinger type, but 99% of the time that is
not indicated. Do you think I would date you if, despite being with
your current significant other, I know you're still online-catalog
man-shopping. And no, you're not just "leaving the profile up"
cause I see your "ONLINE" status dumbass... Ladies, if you're
seriously looking for the next best thing, just make your status
"single"... Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater!!!!