Newsflash: That story is about me. I'm Whitney. And I love someone that isn't currently with me.
Got that? Good. Now, moving on. If you message me with something you'd say to me at a bar, like "hey how are you?" Then you are wasting my time. If you say something that would get you slapped in person... I will put it on my blog. Awesome, please continue:
I am a verbal pistol-whip to the face, slathered in whipped cream, executed by the loving hand of your best friend. Meaning: I am jam-packed full of sass and it doesn't have an expiration date. I also like to mix metaphors, apparently.
I just moved to the area and I would like some new friends, people I can build lasting, trusting Lego contraptions with and maybe even win at Jenga together. Or, become great friends that I know I can rely on. I have some of those, they just happen to live all over the country. I would like some here.
So I've decided I would like to develop some really great-tasting friends and build a network of awesome people to hang out with awesomely. I don't really want to date; that's not my end game. My end game is usually Cards Against Humanity, and only then, right before I go to bed. Or, harry potter clue.
I am looking for partners in crime-fighting. Please inquire within.