I usually surprise people. For example, I tend to provoke a "you used to do what?" kind of response when I tell stories. I'm pretty hilarious at the most unexpected, but appropriate of times. Feel free to ask me about the time I fought a bear, the time I stole my own car, or how awesome it is to drive an ice cream truck. They're all great examples of my hilarity, especially when I'm in a misanthropic mood.
Be independent, intelligent, and fun. I will regale you with stories of my incredible experiences and you can tell me all about how you want to punch stupid people in the face (I know that feels, bro). We can walk around Newport hunting for libations or sit on a couch and watch some Netflix while we plot our world-domination plans. Mwahahahaha.