Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi! I'm kind of tired of reading everybody's profiles about how
perfect they are. Most of my profile below was written by my ex
wife when I was depressed and she was leaving me. I want to know
the truth about people. What meds are you on? What's on your dvr?
How often does your dog actually get out?
I am a nice guy who is getting tired a lot. I am nursing several
long term injuries. I get excited and go out and can generally be a
lot of fun, but I'm happier in my recliner on my biomat. Honestly,
I am looking for someone to watch tv with! I feel lame saying that,
but I'm after honesty. I would also like to sleep together and play
with toys. I have a sybian, it sure looks like fun to me. So, yeah.
Sex, pot, TV. Please? I hope you're out there.
I have a personal assistant, she is the most wonderful woman I have
ever met and is being more supportive than any other force I have
felt in my life. I am someone who is having all of his basic needs
met extraordinarily adequately, I am looking for a lot of physical
affection. I will go at least twice a day if you let me.
In my spare time, which hasn't happened in the last 2 years, I
enjoy paddle boarding.
taking dogs to the beach and hanging out with friends is actually
my job. I am pretty good at it. My home is 420 friendly, I grow it,
vaporize it and bake with it, but I'm definitely not the
stereotypical detached stoner. Far from it! I am very engaging and
Anyway, I'm the kind of guy who wears his 'heart on his sleeve' and
looking for a lady to receive it and treat it gently. It has
been stomped on a lot, but it is still open to you. I am always
willing to try. Let's go for a walk?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have created a life that fits my various foibles and
eccentricities. My finances are in order and my dogwalking business
affords me a comfortable lifestyle. I am working on strengthening
my core (abs) and limiting my expenses.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being real. Yes, this is my real name.
Making strangers laugh. Being taken advantage of. sharing. caring.
oversharing. overcaring. putting the needs of others first.
having videos made about me:
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
the dogs, the cowboy hat, the energy, my truck, the flair &
"joie de vivre". I am happy with my life and career, it is clear to
observers I like what I do.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Authors not books: DAVID FOSTER WALLACE, Hunter S Thompson, Dave
Eggers, Douglas Adams, Douglas Copeland, Douglas Rushkoff, Chalmers
Johnson, Clifford Stoll.
Movies: LOTR, Anything Rob Zombie. Zombie movies generally.
Music means less to me each year, but its been WEEN nearly
exclusively for over a decade, so maybe you should like WEEN.
Food: I don't have a good relationship with food, I am allergic to
soy, it makes me get all itchy. I don't eat beef, I lived in
montana and saw where those disgusting creatures come from. I eat
poultry even though I am a peacock. I feel guilty about my bacon
habit, but I believe in democracy and whenever it's a question of
bacon vs salad the dogs always overrule me and I end up making
I get a lot of excercise and have a high metabolism. People tell me
to calm down a lot.
I am ready to love you.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Food, air, water, sunlight, exercise and dogs
(I am learning to be less dramatic as I age. I will not fill this
box with hyperbole)
I also like touching and being touched. I would like another human
to watch the apocalypse with, preferably one who follows politics
like it is sports and is also multi orgasmic.
Whatever your primary asset may be, I am eager to adjust my fetish
accordingly. Bring. It. On.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Women hold the keys to the gate of the kingdom of paradise, they
are the secret to immortality
How screwed we are collectively as a culture and a planet. How come
I cant be as blissful and ignorant as everyone else appears to be.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I walk and board dogs for a living, so I am fond of staying home
with the dogs. I have been doing this so long I have forgotten what
to do otherwise, which is where you come in. I'm a fun guy, lets go
have fun together.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I own a sybian. I'm not really sure why. It's barely been used,
you're welcome to come try it out
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like dogs, dont mind oddly driven people, dont mind non
sequiters. If you are sad Jon Stewart is going. If you are
relatively sane. If you prefer beaches to bars. Hiking boots to
heels. Beer over wine. Pot over tobacco. Hockey over any other
sport. Want to go to the flea market, any flea market.
If you want to take care of me, I will take care of you.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.