wildeabandon
34 London, UK
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wildeabandon
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My self-summary
I'm intense, fabulous, complicated, generous, mercurial, and indulgent.

Oh, and modest; did I mention modest? I was a mathematician in my undergrad days, but most of the real learning I did in those years was about how to live life to the full. I'm a bit of a dilettante, and whilst in many ways I'm your classic gamer/sf/sciencey geek type I can often also be found waxing lyrical and sounding at least half-way convincing on literature, theology, ethics, politics, and so forth. I am nearly as pretentious as that makes me sound, but I do know how to laugh at myself.

I'm passionate about pleasure - I love good food, good wine, good sex, good conversation, good art - all to pretty much the same degree. I'm deeply, desperately, gloriously in love with life, and utterly in awe of the world, whilst still maintaining a dark sardonic cynicism which makes it even more entertaining.

I'm non-monogamous, living with my fiance number_0 , and in a couple of casual arrangements. I'm not looking for another cohabitating/marriage-like relationship, but I'd be interested in both a somewhat committed and serious secondary relationship and one or more ongoing friends-with-benefits arrangements with people in London.

I'm queer, femme, catholic, left-libertarian, and feminist and don't see any of this as contradictory. I'm kinky, mostly submissive, but happy to switch from time to time.
What I’m doing with my life
To pay the bills I'm self-employed, doing a mixture of strategy, data and project management consultancy, mostly in the Higher Education sector. It's not the kind of super-awesome job that I'd do even if I wasn't getting paid, but it's usually interesting enough.

Outside of work I spend a lot of time cooking, eating, thinking and talking about food. I eat out a lot - from the Ethiopian cafe on the corner to Michelin starred restaurants. I love cooking, and I pride myself on my ability to produce a delectable feast for any set of dietary requirements.

I'm a big old thesp, and whilst I don't get to the theatre as often as I'd like, I do my best, and I definitely think of readthroughs (where a bunch of people grab scripts, assign parts, and act out a play) as one of the most fun things you can do with your clothes on. I've also been getting rather more into singing, and whilst I'm still pretty terrible at it, I'm better than I was.

I care a lot about effective altruism - which is to say, encouraging people to give a decent proportion of their income to the charities which will do the most good with their money, and finding a way to more actively share this passion this is fairly high on my to-do list.

I enjoy nail art, partly because it's a way to express my femme side that I can get away with at work, and partly because it's quite a technique based art form, and therefore a way to express my creativity and craftmanship without needing to be very artistic.
I’m really good at
Conversation, cooking, mathematics, advice, logic, empathy, assimilating information, dancing, drinking, tasting, arguing, loving.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food and drink are probably my favourite things in the entire world. My favourite chef is Nuno Mendes - I went to Viajante five times before it closed, and am hoping to get to the Chiltern Firehouse sometime soon, now that it's not so much the latest celebrity venue.

I love cheese, oysters, gin, olives, steak so rare it still goes moo, really really good chocolate, cheese, black coffee, champagne, sushi, game, balsamic vinegar, ginger, garlic, cheese, beetroot, tuna steak, mussels, feta tart with red onion chutney, cheese, roast duck, parsnip soup, chocolate fudge cake, cheese, claret, fresh asparagus, parmagiana, mushrooms, avocado, cheese, blackberries straight off the bushes, truffle oil, really greasy fry-ups, have I mentioned cheese yet, baklava, and so much more.

I read a lot, but less than I'd like. This section was hopelessly out of date, and if I just change the list of authors it'll be so again before long, so I'll keep it general. I like most genres, but sff, classics, and modern literary fiction are my defaults. I don't read much non-fiction as books, but when I do it tends to be in the fields of science, maths, theology, and economics - more popular than academic though.

My taste in films is terrible. Favourites include Velvet Goldmine, Pirates of the Carribean, Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Dangerous Liaisons, Quills.

Music I don't often get passionate about - I like most of it, but it doesn't often touch me the way other arts do. Most of the time my background music is folk, goth, 80s alternative, or showtunes.
The six things I could never do without
Good food, well written prose, intense conversations, enthusiastic and varied sex, new discoveries, unexpected moments of joy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What it means to be good, and how to do it; what I'm going to cook next, and how to make it exquisite; what life will be like for me in a few years time; work; the way people interact; anything that catches my attention;
You should message me if
You think you can keep up.

But only if you live in/are prepared to travel to London. I don't have the time for purely online correspondences, nor to hop about the country in the few weekends I can spare. I don't think I can either tell what someone is really like or express how fabulous I am through text communication, and I'd much rather skip straight to meeting for coffee, drinks, a trip to a museum, a meal, or something more unusual.

Also, this shouldn't really need saying, but apparently it does. Non-monogamous != willing to help you cheat. If you've got a partner who thinks you're exclusive, I'm not interested.
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