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34 London, UK Man, Gender Nonconforming

Man, Gender Nonconforming

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 8:43am
Bisexual, Queer
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
A little extra
Catholicism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t want kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm intense, fabulous, complicated, generous, mercurial, and indulgent.

Oh, and modest; did I mention modest? I was a mathematician in my undergrad days, but most of the real learning I did in those years was about how to live life to the full. I'm a bit of a dilettante, and whilst in many ways I'm your classic gamer/sf/sciencey geek type I can often also be found waxing lyrical and sounding at least half-way convincing on literature, theology, ethics, politics, and so forth. I am nearly as pretentious as that makes me sound, but I do know how to laugh at myself.

I'm passionate about pleasure - I love good food, good wine, good sex, good conversation, good art - all to pretty much the same degree. I'm deeply, desperately, gloriously in love with life, and utterly in awe of the world, whilst still maintaining a dark sardonic cynicism which makes it even more entertaining.

I'm non-monogamous, living with my primary partner number_0 , and in a couple of casual arrangements. I'm definitely not looking for another cohabitating/marriage-like relationship, but I'd be interested in either a somewhat committed and serious secondary relationship or one or more ongoing friends-with-benefits arrangements with people in London.

I'm queer, femme, catholic, left-libertarian, male, and feminist and don't see any of this as contradictory. I'm kinky, mostly submissive, but happy to switch from time to time.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
To pay the bills I'm self-employed, doing a mixture of strategy, data and project management consultancy, mostly in the Higher Education sector. It's not the kind of super-awesome job that I'd do even if I wasn't getting paid, but it's usually interesting enough.

I counterpoint the hectic worklife with an even more exhausting social whirl and spend half my time living on caffeine and endorphines as a subsitute for sleep, but I wouldn't have it any other way. One of the things I do most of in said social whirl is cook and be cooked for, and whilst I'll never be a professional chef, I'm not bad for an amateur. I also enjoy readthroughs (where a bunch of people grab scripts, assign parts, and act out a play), and other theatrical fun.

I care a lot about effective altruism - which is to say, encouraging people to give a decent proportion of their income to the charities which will do the most good with their money, and finding a way to more actively share this passion this is fairly high on my to-do list.

I've recently been getting into nail art, which is a lot of fun, and a great way to express my creativity and craftmanship without needing to be very artistic.

I'm doing and learning new things at every opportunity, and swing back and forth between excitement that there's so much out there still to experience and frustration that I'll never have time to do it all.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Conversation, cooking, mathematics, advice, logic, empathy, assimilating information, dancing, drinking, tasting, arguing, loving.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food and drink are probably my favourite things in the entire world. My favourite chef is Nuno Mendes - I went to Viajante five times before it closed, and am hoping to get to the Chiltern Firehouse sometime soon, now that it's not so much the latest celebrity venue.

I love cheese, oysters, gin, olives, steak so rare it still goes moo, really really good chocolate, cheese, black coffee, champagne, sushi, game, balsamic vinegar, ginger, garlic, cheese, beetroot, tuna steak, mussels, feta tart with red onion chutney, cheese, roast duck, parsnip soup, chocolate fudge cake, cheese, claret, fresh asparagus, parmagiana, mushrooms, avocado, cheese, blackberries straight off the bushes, truffle oil, really greasy fry-ups, have I mentioned cheese yet, baklava, and so much more.

I read a lot, but less than I'd like. This section was hopelessly out of date, and if I just change the list of authors it'll be so again before long, so I'll keep it general. I like most genres, but sff, classics, and modern literary fiction are my defaults. I don't read much non-fiction as books, but when I do it tends to be in the fields of science, maths, theology, and economics - more popular than academic though.

My taste in films is terrible. Favourites include Velvet Goldmine, Pirates of the Carribean, Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Dangerous Liaisons, Quills.

Music I don't often get passionate about - I like most of it, but it doesn't often touch me the way other arts do. Most of the time my background music is folk, goth, 80s alternative, or showtunes.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good food, well written prose, intense conversations, enthusiastic and varied sex, new discoveries, unexpected moments of joy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What it means to be good, and how to do it; what I'm going to cook next, and how to make it exquisite; what life will be like for me in a few years time; work; the way people interact; anything that catches my attention;
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think you can keep up.

But only if you live in/are prepared to travel to London. I don't have the time for purely online correspondences, nor to hop about the country in the few weekends I can spare. I don't think I can either tell what someone is really like or express how fabulous I am through text communication, and I'd much rather skip straight to meeting for coffee, drinks, a trip to a museum, a meal, or something more unusual.

Also, this shouldn't really need saying, but apparently it does. Non-monogamous != willing to help you cheat. If you've got a partner who thinks you're exclusive, I'm not interested.