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33 London, UK Man, Gender Nonconforming

Man, Gender Nonconforming

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 7:31am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body type
A little extra
Graduated from university
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t want kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm not easy to summarise.

I'm intense, fabulous, complicated, generous, mercurial, and indulgent. Oh, and modest; did I mention modest? I was a mathematician in my undergrad days, but most of the real learning I did in those years was about how to live life to the full. I'm a bit of a dilettante, and whilst in many ways I'm your classic gamer/sf/sciencey geek type I can often also be found waxing lyrical and sounding at least half-way convincing on literature, theology, ethics, politics, and so forth. I am nearly as pretentious as that makes me sound, but I do know how to laugh at myself.

I'm passionate about pleasure - I love good food, good wine, good sex, good conversation, good art - all to pretty much the same degree. I'm deeply, desperately, gloriously in love with life, and utterly in awe of the world, whilst still maintaining a dark sardonic cynicism which makes it even more entertaining.

I'm non-monogamous, living with my primary partner number_0 , and in another casual long distance arrangement. I'm definitely not looking for another primary partner, but I'd be interested in either a somewhat committed secondary relationship or one or more ongoing friends-with-benefits arrangements with people in London. I'm sitting around the higher end of the Kinsey scale these days, so mostly looking for men or genderqueer people, but not ruling out women, particularly if you're bi/queer or androgynous or both.

I'm queer, femme, catholic, left-libertarian, male, and feminist and don't see any of this as contradictory. I'm kinky, mostly submissive, but happy to switch from time to time.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
For work I'm self-employed, doing a mixture of strategy, data and project management, mostly in the Higher Education sector. It's not the kind of super-awesome job that I'd do even if I wasn't getting paid, but it's usually interesting enough.

I counterpoint the hectic worklife with an even more exhausting social whirl and spend half my time living on caffeine and endorphines as a subsitute for sleep, but I wouldn't have it any other way. One of the things I do most of in said social whirl is cook and be cooked for, and whilst I'll never be a professional chef, I'm not bad for an amateur. I also enjoy readthroughs (where a bunch of people grab scripts, assign parts, and act out a play), and other theatrical fun.

I care a lot about effective altruism - which is to say, encouraging people to give a decent proportion of their income to the charities which will do the most good with their money, and spending more time doing voluntary work to publicise this is fairly high on my to-do list.

I've recently been getting into nail art, which is a lot of fun, and a great way to express my creativity and craftmanship without needing to be very artistic.

I'm doing and learning new things at every opportunity, and swing back and forth between excitement that there's so much out there still to experience and frustration that I'll never have time to do it all.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
A lot of things.

Particular skills include conversation, cooking, rhetoric, empathy, mathematics, advice, logic, assimilating information, dancing, drinking, tasting, arguing, loving.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot, but less than I'd like. Some authors I'm particularly keen on are Asimov, Gaiman, Suskind, Gemmell, Lewis, Pratchett, Carter, Burroughs, Chesterton, Brite, Shakespeare, Murakami, Noon, Marshall Smith, Bujold... but really I enjoy just about anything that makes me think a little, and some things that don't.

Learning to appreciate good films, as well as fun ones, is on my list of things to do. That said; Velvet Goldmine, Pirates of the Carribean, Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Dangerous Liaisons, Quills.

Music I don't often get passionate about - I like most of it, but it doesn't often touch me the way other arts do.

Food is probably my favourite thing in the entire world. My favourite chef is Nuno Mendes - I went to Viajante five times before it closed. I love cheese, oysters, gin, olives, steak so rare it still goes moo, really really good chocolate, cheese, black coffee, champagne, sushi, game, balsamic vinegar, ginger, garlic, cheese, beetroot, tuna steak, mussels, feta cheese tart with red onion chutney, cheese, roast duck, parsnip soup, chocolate fudge cake, cheese, claret, fresh asparagus, parmagiana, mushrooms, avocado, cheese, blackberries straight off the bushes, truffle oil, really greasy fry-ups, have I mentioned cheese yet, baklava, and so much more.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I would really dislike going without really good food, well written prose, intense conversations that go on for hours and get self-mockingly pretentious, sex with people who love sex as much as I do, chances to discover new things, unexpected moments of joy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What it means to be good, and how to do it; what I'm going to cook next, and how to make it exquisite; what life will be like for me in a few years time; work; the way people interact; anything that catches my attention;
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think you can keep up.

But only if you live in/are prepared to travel to London. I don't have the time for purely online correspondences, nor to hop about the country in the few weekends I can spare. I don't think I can either tell what someone is really like or express how fabulous I am through text communication, and I'd much rather skip straight to meeting for coffee, drinks, a trip to a museum, a meal, or something more unusual.

Also, this shouldn't really need saying, but apparently it does. Non-monogamous != willing to help you cheat. If you've got a partner who thinks you're exclusive, I'm not interested.