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38 Berkeley, CA Cis Man

Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 2
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Rather not say
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay), LISP (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
There are a couple of things I learned when I was a kid... I can't
really say for sure where I learned them, but it would be
reasonable to point to my parents. Both of these things seem to be somewhat core to how I approach the world.

The first thing is that when you come to a gate in your path that
you must go through, you should always leave the gate the way you found it, barring external direction otherwise.

The second is that when you're using a machine, it has a "feel"
when things are working right, and a distinctly different "feel"
when it's not working right. It's important to be sensitive to this
"feel", and to investigate and address any changes over time.
(Note: this doesn't just apply to machines, really.)


I like to share.

I pursue direct, clear communications.

I (like to think that I) have a very open mind.

I generally find negativity to be a big turn-off.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Weekdays: Herding software and servers.

Weekends: Herding chickens. Campouts. Festivals. Ren Faires. Hot Springs. Hot Tubs. Vineyards. Dinner Parties.

One thing that I really like to do is cook for people... often large groups of people. I like it even more without a proper kitchen.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
  • Starting projects
  • Finding faults (in systems)
  • Ignoring faults (in individuals)
  • Making networks of computers do interesting things
  • Taking things apart
  • Pushing buttons
  • Psychoanalyzing my roomba
  • Paying attention when I want to
  • Making breakfast
  • Snuggling
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People seem to notice something I've done before they notice me. Usually it was something good.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Caveat: I feel keenly aware of the inherent limitations in trying to quantify tastes in creative works simply by creating an abridged list of said.

These days books generally only come out when I am for whatever reason without an uplink. In those cases, I tend towards nonfiction... especially travel journals, pop anthropology, revisionist history (from the perspective of my US public education background), and books about how humans impact their environment. Authors with multiple works on my bookshelves include Marc Reisner, Charles C. Mann, Rick Steves, Jered Diamond, Eric Hansen, Bill Bryson, and Richard Feynman. I am highly suspicious of anything written by Malcolm Gladwell.

In the past I have enjoyed fiction from the likes of Neal Stephenson, Alex Garland, Tom Clancy, Douglas Adams, Raymond Carver, and Mark Twain.

I honestly spend more time watching the meme of the week than any other video content.

In my personal library you will find a lot of classic rock, reggae, jam bands, psytrance, ambient, downtempo, trip-hop, and female vocalists. I seem to enjoy any music when it is performed live outdoors with so much dancing that the earth shakes. I'm also especially fond of cross-genre remixes, and songs remade in completely different genres from their original.

When I am working, I am often listening to a pandora feed that was initially seeded from Shpongle, RJD2, William Orbit, Airpushers, The Orb, Beats Antique, The Avalanches, Moondog, and I Monster.

Also, Groove Salad and Lush from soma fm.

In the car, I listen to podcasts... Marketplace, The California Report, This American Life, Forum, and Talk of the Nation, among others. I used to listen to Savage Love but I kind of got bored of his rantiness.

I really, really like food. All of it, except: eggplant, most shellfish, and food that is overly fried or drowned in condiments.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
These days, the subjects of consent, intention, and privilege seem to be on my mind quite a lot.


Current events, locally and globally (especially related to the state of our environment and how it is changing, and civil liberties in the digital age). I have no one (or even ten) favorite news source(s). I search for alternative perspectives when I find interesting controversy. I read easily 50 news articles, blog posts, wiki pages, etc. on most days... it borders on OCD/addiction.

Also: metastuff. spectrums. stereotypes. causation vs. correlation. relationships. interpersonal communication. sustainability. intimacy. the zombie apocalypse (figuratively, not literally). kink.

And of course, stuff my therapist says.


Specifically within the context of okcupid, i find myself regularly thinking about:

- why people disable third party profile edits? Are they really attached to their bad spelling?

- why are the couples profiles almost exclusively seeking out single women?

- why are women's "body type" choices so wildly variable?

- why okc often populates my homepage with profiles of users for whom i am not an acceptable age match.

- whether or not it is "ok" to state physical preferences
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dressed up at a party, or not dressed in the hottub.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think "slut" is a positive word. I enjoy associating with people who are "slutty".

When I make small mistakes at work, millions of people are impacted. Sometimes I get to read about my mistakes in mainstream media.

I get laid a lot. I'm not here to find more of that, but it's not hard to find me on fetlife if that's your interest...

I find openness to be a huge turn-on. And on the flip-side, lack of openness can be a pretty big turn-off.

I am particularly sensitive to my cat's emotional state of mind. If you're not nice about sharing my bed with her, she will be irked.

I do not find short hair on women to be particularly attractive, but I have accepted the fact that many women who I am attracted to choose to have short hair.

I tend to be uncomfortable around people who are yelling.

I hate phone calls. For real. I have a really hard time carrying on meaningful conversations on the phone, especially over bad cell phone connections. If you feel like we need to talk on the phone before we can meet, we are not a match.

I love being held. I like most forms of affection, a lot.

I enjoy (and often prefer) dates that involve more than two people.

I can be pretty kinky (at least by the standards of the general population), but I don't tend to wear it on my sleeve amongst strangers. My kink has not historically involved much in the way of negotiated power exchange but I have become more curious about it recently. I am attracted to people who enjoy being fetishized, and to people who own their sexual pleasure.

I am not particularly prone to monogamy, at least at this point in my life. Many of my relationships have contained aspects of polyamory, swinging, or both. These days, I have found that I am most interested in exploring other relationships with my partner (singular)... I daydream about a life partner with whom I can both build a family, and explore all of the recesses of human interaction and pleasure. I would likely be happy in a relationship described as "monogamish".

I like to get stoned. If you assume this means I spend a lot of time sitting around on the couch with the munchies and the TV remote, we're probably not a match.

I don't take money very seriously. If this is a problem for you and you're not interested in stepping up to that responsibility in a shared life, we're probably also not a match.

I think people should be nice to each other... men to women, women to men, men to men, women to women... This seems like obvious stuff to me, but for some reason I feel the need to put it in my profile. I like people who think (and expect) the same. If you expect anything else from your relationships, we might have a hard time connecting. In a similar vein, I will only mind you talking about your exes if you are telling me about all of the douchey things they did to you. Putting all of this another way, I have a very low tolerance for emotionally abusive relationships.

I love meat. Preferably barbecued or smoked, but roasted, braised, or even pan-fried will do. I don't have to eat it with every meal, but I can't imagine I will ever stop eating it. That said, I feel fortunate that I live in a part of the country where I can actually choose to buy meat that is raised under circumstances that don't turn my stomach. It might be more expensive, but it sure does taste better.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are op to the idea of a committed partnership with a like minded person, such that both of you can thrive even more than you would apart

You like getting laid, but connection and emotional intimacy are a much higher priority for you.

*Most* (but not all) of my serious relationships have been with women who are 5'3 or shorter. This is simply an observation.

I don't see myself as monogamous, but I don't relate to the bay area poly scene very well either.