I work in the mental health field, am a musician in my spare time (drummer). I'm a graduate of Naropa University '98, MA, so have a lot of Buddhist/Eastern influences in my philosophical background. Consider myself Spiritually grounded, but not religious at all, and at the same time am very tolerant of those who are, provided their beliefs have not been "arrested" by fundamentalism, the surest way to kill the "organicity" of ever evolving Spirituality!
Been single (not in any kind of LTR with a woman) for over 21 months (with the exception of the recent false start) and it did not end “badly“ in the traditional sense. She was a very lovely, vibrant woman but was not to be my last great love as I hoped for. The Universe decided her time with me would be short (3.5 years) and died a sudden death in a tragic accident. So I have had plenty of time to grieve well and move forward into an even deeper connection than I have yet experienced
Her gift to me though was that she taught me to trust a woman enough to let her see every aspect of who I was as a man. Then she truly loved me for every dimension of my Soul. I am on here to find that again, but with a very different type of woman as I've changed and evolved much as a result of working through that very painful loss. I can not describe in words what that means. When we meet, We will both just know!
I don’t smoke (anything) as I’ve been abstinent from all drugs and alcohol for many years now. Just a personal choice, no morality or judgment attached to that decision what-so-ever. Whether you do or not matters little to me. As long as it does not impair your ability to connect deeply with another human being. I am very comfortable with who I am at this point in my life and know myself well. I hope you do as well.
Regrets and past mistakes are where they should be…..in the past. I recognize all that history, good and bad, as an amalgamation of who and what I am now. I believe that creativity and beauty are synthesized in the transformation of human short comings, provided we deal with our own past mistakes in compassionate manner, and practice forgiveness for those who may have trespassed against us.
Which means accepting responsibility for them and eschewing blame for forgiveness for those whom we believe have caused us pain. The baggage that comes from remaining a “victim” of past relationships is toxic to any new relationships.
I am a very sensual man and very healthy in a sexual sense. Physical contact, touching, hugging, kissing, cuddling, making love are so essential to keeping a relationship vital. Thus physical attraction does matter and although quite subjective, I do what I need to do to remain physically, emotionally, intellectually and Spiritually attractive to the woman I’m in a relationship with. This is of course comprised of many different subjective components.
If you haven’t discovered that the most satisfying, intimate, connecting sexual relationship of your life is yet to be experienced, then experience has taught you nothing in that area of your life.
The ability to just accept each other as we currently are, is paramount to developing a relationship based on openness, acceptance, compassion and trust. I consider that the type of "respect" to be the bond that holds a relationship together, not love. Love should just be the “icing on the cake”. With all those other elements aligned, you then have created the potential for unconditional love.
I’m very clear on the fact that I am a monogamous creature and thrive in that kind of a relationship. So I am honest and sincere here because presenting myself in any other manner would be a colossal waste of time. How could anyone expect to find that kind of relationship doing anything less!?!
But this is OKC and I know most would claim to be "all that" just to get what they "think" they want. The only way to find out if I am different than those folks is to respond back. I’m quite confident that you will find out that I am the man I say I am in my profile, whether we’re compatible for a LTR or not.
There is that ever elusive chemistry that plays such a big role in matters of the heart and Soul. I am searching for my Beloved. If you are this very lovely woman and you believe in the possibility that I could be your Beloved, then I sincerely hope we get the opportunity to meet!