Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


38 Oakland, CA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jul 18
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Used up
Strictly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The people who know me best and longest could tell you very little about me. And even with a book I couldn't tell you more. Dichotomy is good word. I'm usually the smartest guy in the room but make the dumbest choices. Most of the time I am the life of the party making everyone laugh and getting people to cut loose but if you look close enough in the moments in between I am by myself staring into the night. I'm tough as blued steel. And I'm usually the last person people turn to for comfort but I'm usually the first when it's something big. I make a big show of being stoic but when no one is looking I dote on children and cats. I find damn near everything funny and few things serious enough that I won't make fun of them including myself.

On any given day I don't know if I'm going to be a wide eyed southern boy or a jaded city kid. One year will see me working search and rescue or turning a wrench and the next doing web design or restructuring small businesses. The only two constants are my down to the bone loyalty and how far out of the way I will go to help anyone in need. I guess the best way to summarize who I am is to say I'm the guy who pulls over in the pouring rain when you break down a hundred miles from anywhere to change your tire and slides in a joke just at the right moment that makes you laugh no matter how bad things are.

I am mad, bad, and dangerous to know
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently I'm working sixty hours a week for one of those evil companies that shuttle employees to Silicon Valley. When I'm not doing that i am sleeping as much as possible. Luckily my dog loves spending the weekend in bed with me but I am trying to actively invest in having a life again after starting a new career from scratch two years ago. And yes I know being one of the people on the white bus is evil. But after five years of making minimum wage or living off pell grants. Well it feels awesome to know that I will never have trouble getting a job again and I can buy pizza without having to worry if I'm going to bounce a check.

My dream job would be using my skills in developing areas bringing the internet to the people who need it most. I don't really care about politics but if you asked me to point to the thing I think is most important I would say I want to go to Pakistan and figure out a way to get a computer with an internet connection into the hands of every girl who wants to learn. And after that I would probably be a junkie about going to places where people wanted to kill me for helping kids learn.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm MacGuyver. I can fix, build, or learn anything. And I can even give a narration on the nuances of mechanical and chemical bonds while fixing the car with a raw egg and a pair of pantie hose.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have some sort of on duty air about me because I can't get through grocery shopping without somebody asking me where the cereal is. When my hair isn't bleached and I'm wearing respectable clothing people ask me if I'm a cop.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I consider myself a movie guy and I tend to prefer either pre 70's or recent indie movies. In the last five years I have seen maybe five big budget movies that I liked and I watch a ton of movies. And because I grew up on Carlin, Pryor, Radner, Martin, Hicks, and Murphy every single Will Ferrell movie makes me want to slap the the taste out of his mouth.

Vanishing Point. Casablanca. Dr. Strangelove. The Bad and the Beautiful. Time Bandits. The Quiet Man. Miyezaki. Hong Kong crime dramas. John Wayne. Lana Turner. Ride the Pink Pony. And of course my favorites, three am insomnia driven cult flicks. "Repo man never sleeps".

As for books I quite literally(see what I did there) don't leave the house without one. I read when I smoke, when I eat, if I am doing anything that doesn't require two hands I am reading. I mostly read vintage sci-fi these days and non-fiction instructionals on how to make everything from clothes to robots(yes I can sew and yes I can make robots).

Music is a loaded question. I listen to everything from Slayer to Glenn Miller. I hated living in Nashville and all of the music that comes out of it. But I tend to be alt country and Americana. Most of the artists that show up at Hardly Strictly Blue Grass tend to show up on my ipod.

Growing up on really bland food and in some cases really disgusting food I learned how to cook out of self defense. And I love to cook but rarely cook for myself unless I feel like biscuits and gravy on a Saturday Morning. The only international foods I haven't tried are Laotian, south east African, and from eastern Europe. So far the only one I haven't liked is Filipino. And I like spicy food from time to time especially if I can convince the waiter to bring me what they consider spicy not bland American spicy. But my one constant is I am a breakfast anytime fiend which means brunch is my one true food love.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Road trips, a sense of humor, tools, Irish whiskey, motorcycles, something to read.

Three of the vertebrae in my neck are fused, I have two herniated disks in my lower back, and a normal man would be screaming like a little girl from the amount of pain I wake up in every day. A few years from now I'm going to have to strap a cane to my bike but as long as I can still walk I will still ride.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I invent things. It is just sort of a side effect of the way my mind works. When faced with a no win situation I come up with a few dozen ways to beat it. I can always think of a way to go through a problem, or around a problem. but I prefer to come up with a way to go around the problem without anyone knowing I even knew the problem existed.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am sleeping. You have no idea how cool being able to sleep on a Friday night is. Just a dark, warm, quiet place and maybe a book or netflix. And a three gallon bucket of pho. And red velvet cake. Okay not sleeping so much as sitting in a comfy cave.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I binge watched Kimmy Schmitt while drinking beer and replacing a hard drive.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Honestly if you feel like talking to someone who enjoys conversations. In the last year I have sent six messages on this site. I am by no means shy or reserved but I know that anything I send to you is going to be lost in a sea of losers with much better abs than me. I hate the idea of selling myself because when it comes to first dates or job interviews I may not get asked for round two but no one ever feels like they wasted their time giving me a shot.