What we read here is important but, in my experience, chemistry will trump a great many things. I find this both sad and wonderful. Sad that people who seem so right for us turn out to ring no bells in us, and exciting because not knowing is exciting.
My sister told me she wrote a list of things she wanted in a partner and it was 27 things long. She met her beloved 5 months later and he had 25 of the attributes. She encouraged me to do the same. I thought it would be easy and it was, but it wasn't 27 things. It wasn't a list at all. I wrote, all in one gulp, lying on my bed one of those dark icy days this winter, that "I seek someone who is not afraid, someone not embittered or 'deceptionado' (disillisioned in Spanish), someone who laughs easily and makes me laugh, who feels things strongly, who knows something is at stake, that choices matter but who, at the same time, realizes that we are so small in time and space that not much has any lasting import, no intrinsic weight in the universes. I look for someone who can still, even after everything that's happened to all of us, even after the losses that come with living, is still able to go all in and be joyful."
I am Latin American. I think this strongly influences what I find attractive in people.
I trained in bel canto and still sing. I also work with people at-risk and head up a foundation in honor of a prolific artist whose work reached many museums but sadly died too young.
I've had a great many adventures, professional and personal, worked in television news, documentary film, I've written for various media, and was a critic and columnist for a national magazine. Since moving to Portland, I've worked in arts administration and social services. I perform throughout the year and still write daily. Mostly, I write essays and poems and sing. I collaborate with other artists. I stalk my son on facebook, like a good Jewish mother. And I wonder if I am meant to fall in love again.
I'm funny, intense, a strong feminist with vestiges of an old world upbringing and all the contradictions rising from those. I'm aware, moody, imaginative, opinionated.
I am looking for an intellectual equal with whom to share things that are meaningful to me. I hope to meet someone who will concur on what is meaningful. We're too old to pretend to like what our other likes. It's a waste of time. If you don't like what I like and you're only doing it to please me, you'll resent me. And I hate it when that happens.
I admire courage and originality. Sometimes, originality requires courage. Usually it does, in my experience. Worth it.
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage" (Nin)