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with_an_el

36 M Royal Oak, MI

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:11pm
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

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My self-summary
IT'S GREAT WHEN TWO TRULY LOVING, HONEST, FULFILLED, WHOLE, INDEPENDENT PEOPLE CONNECT.

1+1=3 situations are best, that is, we connect and in the process become better people who are more aware of our virtues and gifts and subsequently live lives of greater joy/compassion. I would hope a romantic relationship follows the same course. I think it would be incredible if people could see a couple and think, "They are two great people on their own, but together... DAMN!."

That being said, I try hard to meet people where they are in life... vital to my goal of living justly. Potential friendships and relationships go wrong all the time when we try to fit people into roles we've set aside for them to fill. Often it happens subconsciously. I've made this mistake before. Socializing and dating become shopping excursions to fill voids. I am not looking to fit people into slots... just trying to chat with maturity and honesty. I am eager to share my life with good people wherever the process of knowing takes us.

I gravitate toward the salt of the Earth and compelling people who challenge me (and everyone else) to grow & think, laugh alot, be curious, tell great stories, have adventures (both lived and mental) and are focused predominantly on the whole of the planet, not finding a person to live a life removed from what billions of others are experiencing.

I love to be around people with a giant sense of humor who make their own fun wherever they go, yet are serious about important things.

I work hard to broadcast that being close to me is a safe space where you can be 100% you. I treasure this experience myself when I am lucky enough to find it. I like to be informed when I flunk.

I live to travel the world, but I don't view it as my playground i.e. solely for my amusement. Yet, I am not sure I have felt greater joy than being "on the road". I live to learn about new places/peoples and then go meet them. Detroit has been good to me, but I think often about ditching it and heading somewhere new or back home to the Atlantic. She is always whispering to me.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm self-employed doing various things. Being my own boss has shot my morale and zeal for living through the roof. I am in massage therapy school and totally in love with the craft. Prior to my career change I worked with youth and families in NYC and Detroit for about 15 years total.

I spend mucho time with new and old friends, baking, cooking, reading, thinking, practicing massage, hiking, walking, singing, exercising and teaching myself to sleep properly. I get bored beyond belief by Facebook (even my own posts), but find animal bios on Petfinder a great way to spend a day.

Life is awesome at my two bedroom ranch, and it would be great to live here for a long time. Still, it would be nice to make some friends and even share life with someone who prefers the company of folk souls, silence, stars, sun, water and all kinds of animals over activities that are centered around looking good, being entertained, acquisition, increasing wealth/status, buying things, & networking. I find the natural world and honest human company the best entertainment in life.

It's nice to be around things you don't have to impress.
I’m really good at
taking time for self-analysis, listening, understanding grey areas, mixing cereals, adaptation, lie detection, analyzing things from multipe angles, worrying, receiving criticism, working with kids and parents, connecting details, understanding how my personal experience, privileges and bias limit my openness
The first things people usually notice about me
I get told often that I'm not like anyone else, and people feel like they've known me for years.

I also get lotsa feedback on my muscles. I have been through every form of the body dysmorphia thing that gay men are famous for. I finally got to the point where fitness is part of my lifestyle and not an obsession. I love my natural widow's peak.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: JFK, Silence of the Lambs, Primary Colors, Wait Until Dark, Beautiful Thing, The Crying Game, Michael Clayton, The Deep End, Amadeus, The Empire Strikes Back, Do the Right Thing, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Insider, L.A. Confidential, 12 Monkeys, Heat, Lantana, Chinatown, In the Bedroom, Alien, The Remains of the Day, Children of Men, Millenium Trilogy

Books/Reading: all travel guides, nonfiction thrillers, film & book reviews; personality theory, anthropology, massage anything

Shows: The Walking Dead, Roseanne, Parks & Recreation, The Cosby Show, Downton Abbey, United States of Tara, American Horror Story, RuPaul's Drag Race, Dexter, animal stuff, documentaries, anything with detectives

Music: everything especially funk and older R & B...

Food: ANYTHING! "If you eat local food, you can travel anywhere."
The six things I could never do without
the option to explore the whole planet and give something of value to it, my mind that never stops working, my best friend, bread/butter, pizza, hot & cold water
I spend a lot of time thinking about
family & community, ideas for the perfect thriller, universal justice, what i can contribute that is actually helpful, my flaws, where I want to/can travel, how to relax, where we (the species) are headed, recipes, how to live debt free, how to be fully integrated
On a typical Friday night I am
I work at home throughout the week so there are no more Friday nights in the reg Monday to Friday sense. My commute is also down to two and a half feet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have been told I smile like Shrek.

I am great at choosing friends, but not as much with dating. My muse keeps telling me no more fixer-uppers. I've learned the hard way that I stayed in toxic relationships because I didn't value myself.

Also, I have gotten away from my real roots. Like a lot of gay people, I unintentionally migrated to large American cities to get away from scary small town ignorance and homophobia, but I know something has faded through the process of becoming an urbanite and now a suburbanite.

I grew up on Long Island working on farms and in vineyards, fishing in the bay, building forts, swimming with glow-in-the-dark jellyfish at night, hiking, picking peas, watching owls on my roof, sneaking in scary abandoned farmhouses, etc... u get the idea lol... I also was raised in a family who accepts everybody just as long as you eat with them and can talk in stories.

If you took me to a beach, I'd hope we could play in the water, make sandcastles, wrestle, take a walk and go hunting for shells as opposed to staring at packages or modeling for other people.

I was born on an island which, if you're not an islander, means I'll probably never be truly whole or happy until I live on one again.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 28–44
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
I am drawn to humble geniuses and attracted to no particular physical type of person. I appreciate simplicity, mystery, intensity, wit, storytelling ability, honesty and original thinking. I like to have a great time but know I am in the presence of a person with a strong social conscience who uses their intelligence and creativity for good, asks endless questions and knows when to fight and when to be a diplomat. ****Deceptive and mysterious are two different things.

Message me if you like a person who is a mix of a lot of different ideas and cultures, a traveller, humorous-serious balanced, flawed, honest and excited to meet compelling people; a thinker; a wanderer; someone who talks in stories and lives to hear them; and if you aware of the privileges you were born with, whatever they are, and are figuring out how to use them for other's benefit. Message me if you want to gain a true friend.

I believe I can connect with anybody, but I have a really hard time with circuit life, arrogance, materialism, deceit and people who have to be the center of attention; People who are too lazy to start a conversation; Are looking for sex primarily but tell yourself you're not; Are looking for an LTR immediately; Lie as a lifestyle; Are controlling with no desire to change; Don't have a serious problem with power imbalances in relationships; Are not at least somewhat invested in social action or important dialogue; Fall apart without your cell phone; Consider celebrity gossip important; Can't take a compliment; Only want hot and/or wealthy friends; Live to be seen