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25 M Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:18pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Working on law school
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've been described as the Bart Simpson of law school: a type B person in a type A world. I like dark humor and pranks. I'm passionate about philosophy and psychology, and majored in both in undergrad. Currently, I live by the noble philosophy of YOLO, which, while often ridiculed, is not unlike the modern day Carpe Diem. I used to be shy as a teenager and in recent years have successfully transcended the oppressive comfort zone! I'm originally from Florida, a place aptly described by comedian Daniel Tosh as "hot, flat, and dumb."

Also, when surveyed, an over-whelming consensus of my friends say that the PowerPuff Girl I'm most like is Bubbles.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I just graduated law school at UChicago and am planning to go into civil rights. I most recently interned at a civil rights law firm in Los Angeles, suing the government/corporations to protect civil liberties/fighting the man. I'm generally into social justice.

I perform mentalism in my spare time, it's a branch of magic where I create the illusion of mind-reading using psychology, suggestion, and trickery. This is probably my favorite hobby and allows me to combine my passion for cognitive psychology with creating awesome theater. I love it because it's captivating on a cerebral level as well as a more visceral one. I'd like to combine my knowledge of psychology from being a mind reader and experience in performing on stage, to be a trial lawyer of uncommon skill. I was a street performer in Hollywood this past summer.

Aside from that, I enjoy doing cruel (and sometimes subtle) pranks on dear friends :] I've earned some mild notoriety for being a prankster, especially after one of my antics ended up on a big legal news site, and another prank ended up being described on a professor's final exam. My favorite "holiday" is obviously April Fools, and every year I try to have something amusing (and also convincing) in store for most of my friends. I'm interested in deception generally and the role it plays in our lives - white lies to people we know, deep dark secrets, self-deception (delusional beliefs), and of course deception in magic.

Random recent me facts:
1. A female friend dressed up as a sexy version of me this Halloween
2. I've been a study subject for my friend's master's thesis in Sociology on Alternative Masculinity.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Observing people
Writing humor stuff
Going to the bathroom by myself
Counseling people
Trash talking during Chess
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I often get noticed, by friends and strangers alike, for making really bold fashion choices: red Michael Jackson jackets, eyeliner, colored contacts, funny hats, bunny ears, vinyl/leather pants, etc. When I wear the Michael Jackson jacket, I usually end up posing for pictures for random people. Wearing really bizarre things is an easy way to spice up life and have some more fun.

Fun Fact: I was recently featured on the Facebook page "People of the CTA" when a stranger secretly photographed me wearing my red Michael Jackson jacket on Chicago's Red Line train. The photo has gotten over 1,000 likes and people keep commenting to report what time of day and location they saw me around town. Not at all creepy!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Mostly non-fiction on philosophy, science, atheism and skepticism, economics, game theory, magic, history, and humor. Of course Harry Potter, since I'm a goddamn wizard. I used to post on HP forums when I was a kid to debate other kids about the content of future books. I used to be a big reader of graphic novels, where I most notably was an avid fan of Alan Moore (He wrote Watchmen, V for Vendetta, etc.)

Although, I'm generally anti-religious but I've been addicted to reading about early Christian history ever since I got the book "Misquoting Jesus" by Bart Ehrman, and now follow some research into the historical Jesus.

TV:, Breaking Bad Daily Show/Colbert, Tosh.0, Orange is the new Black, The Ali G Show/Borat, Family Guy, Key and Peele, South Park, Louie, Death Note, The Mentalist, Tosh.0, The Office (with Michael), Suits, Robot Chicken, Code Geass etc. I also love old school cartoons: Batman The Animated Series, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Hey Arnold, Girls, Magic School Bus. I'm currently watching Game of Thrones - no spoilers! :P

Comedy: Louis Ck, Ricky Gervais, Amy Schumer, Bo Burnham, George Carlin, Dave Chapelle, Key and Peele

Movies: Batman Returns, Being John Malkovich, Tarantino movies generally, Borat, Hamlet 2, every single Christopher Nolan movie (notably the Prestige, Dark Knight, and Following), Tim Burton favorite genres are psychological thrillers. I also love comedies, but most hilarious ones are culture-specific and don't really age well.

Music: 90's pop, metal (not much anymore), rap (some mainstream and underground), dance, Japanese Rock...for some reason Ke$ha. And M.I.A. Some techno. I have a really eclectic taste and it's possible for me to enjoy many different musical genres (besides country, obviously). I don't really identify myself with the music I listen to so I never end up elaborating this section :\

Food: Eggs. I fucking love eggs. And guacamole.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Online chatting/texting
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
New mind-reading/hypnosis routines
How next to get out of a certain comfort zone or eliminate a limiting belief
Funny pranks to play
Gender relations/sex-positive stuff
How I can be larger than life
How to react to horrible events that happen to me or others (or hypothetical ones)
Devising disturbingly detailed "what would you rather do scenarios" to ask my friends. Once someone would decisively choose one option, I change the details slightly until the person changes his or her mind. For example, it's amusing to see how much humiliation someone would be willing to go through to avoid losing a pinky or something - or avoid a loved one's humiliation via televised sex with animals . Ask me if you want one of these conundrums :D
How I'm gonna get a private detective license and dress like Sherlock Holmes and solve mysteries (partner needed for this, need hats too)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Out in the town, hanging out, movies, I like to be open and spontaneous so I'll make an effort to pursue something really novel to get out of my comfort zone if I can.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been to a nudist resort.

I never showed my face on the internet until I got to law school. My Facebook profile pic never showed my face either. It's because I used to be famous on this online game and people would stalk me and offer me (or others) money for a picture of me so I was creeped out! Enjoy my literally multi-hundred dollar valued mug on this profile!

Also, I can't tread water or float. So if you wanna go swimming that's cool, but please bring me a noodle.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–83
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are looking for someone who is NOT an axe-murderer.

You are a feminist

You might be interested in being my assistant on stage

You want to be hypnotized

You have a chicken suit

You want to bet something over a board game

You wanna walk the plank