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31 Phoenix, AZ Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 14, 2014
Pacific Islander, White
Seeing Someone
6' 2" (1.88m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Dropped out of Space camp
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has cats
English (Somewhat), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm here to waste time by taking tests, and sending random messages. If in my wasting of time, I were to meet someone who is interesting, I wouldn't mind.

I'm in an open relationship. My girlfriend is pretty much fucking great; you should meet her.

I am Amazing, Sardonic, and Random
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Going to school. Wishing I smoked weed so I could say that I'm stoned more often than United States Embassies.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Looking drunk / tired / high even after 8 hours of sleep, and completely sober. Which sometimes works to my advantage...

I've gotten out of work, because I showed up and they thought I was drunk. Which was pretty sweet because working would have meant sitting by myself in the middle of nowhere with a gun and a radio.

Unfortunately, far more often it does not...

I've also been kicked out of a Bar for looking "too drunk" when I honestly hadn't drank a drop. Though, I guess they saved me money, and in all likelyhood getting date raped by a frat dude in an American apparel v-neck.

Most anything I deem worthy of putting the effort into learning.

Being unobtrusively charming; apparently.

Giving advice, and being brutally honest.

Being bad at describing myself on the internets.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Aforementioned under the influence appearance :(

My Hair, it's rather jew-froish after it gets wet.

I'm black by popular demand.

I'm looking to add to this list; so if you have any suggestions let me knows.

"You're pretty fucking tall. And loud. That's hard to miss." - My roommate.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I heart Kurt Vonnegut. It makes me sad that most people are exposed to Hemingway through Old Man and the Sea, which I don't find to be a very compelling story; and definitely not his best work.

Anything with copious amounts of sex and violence.

Community. Other than that, Jon and Steven; and Adult Swim

Current favorites: Elliot Smith, Modest Mouse, MGMT, The Reverend Horton Heat, Muse, Dethklok, La Roux due to it being forced into my mind on repeat.

Fake Sushi, and real Italian.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
That dude with the face and the hair.
That thing over there, no there.
The thing in my hands.
Not that, you fucking pervert.
Jesus, just kidding.
Your sex.
Not that, you fucking pervert.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Stuff and things, but mainly stuff.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Most likely one of the following:

Yelling out a car window asking girls if they need a ride, on my face.

Trolling the internet.

Singing Total Eclipse of the Heart at a Karaoke bar.

Watching a Movie.

Hanging out at my friends house.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You're adopted. But at least that means your parents actually wanted you :)

I'm pretty much an open book, if you want to know something just ask.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You suffer from Insomnia, and want someone to talk to at 2am.

You want to.

You aren't bat shit crazy... Or if you are bat shit crazy you're harmless and entertaining; not stab me in the leg with a fork crazy...

If you watch TV, and don't like Community we probably can't be friends.