ISTJ

I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst. Show me your enemies.

I live alone with my cat and my pitbull, and I roll burritos that I can't afford for a living.
My life essence is fueled with various mood-enhancing substances and loud metal shows.
I am a hedonist. I try to do and feel good as well and often as I can.

I'm good at being a bitter, calloused cynic.
I have an odd talent of determining what song is playing based on the first downbeat.
I have the uncanny ability to drink and enjoy bottom shelf whiskey.
I can also cook killer pad Thai.

I have several tattoos, so I would assume that would be the first distinguishable characteristic.

Or my gauged ears and gauged septum.

Or it could be my dreadlocks.

Ill fitted band shirts and combat boots make up the majority of my wardrobe, however I clean up quite nicely.

And I promise I'm not a crusty.

books- crowley, dostoyevsky, lovecraft, pratchett, neitzche, nin

movies- the top of my list would consist of horror and documentaries. I mean, I could pull from pretty much any genre and enjoy it.

music- there's not enough room for this, so ill go by genre in order of favoritism.
Black metal
Doom metal
"Slow southern steel"
Thrash
Noise
Power violence
Crust
Industrial
Neo folk
Witch house

.....and twee.

Food- vegan. I usually eat lots of curry and stir fry.
Note: I am not going to constantly remind you that I am vegan unless you offer me food I can not eat. Nor will I reprimand you for not sharing the same diet with me.
Eat that steak. Yeah. Eat it.

My cat
Nag champa
House shows
Sriracha
Offensive jokes
George Dickel

The occult, the cosmos, ritual magick.

Redditing

I enjoy sleeping until 2 pm on my off days.

You hate everything as I do.
You enjoy nerding out on obscure unpronounceable black metal.
You either go into either extreme of being very effeminate or very masculine.
Also, Genderqueer is a big yes.
You don't mind sleeping in.
You enjoy wandering in forests and hunting for animal bones.
And if your hair is long.
Or if you resemble a Viking. I like Vikings.
I also enjoy a nice beard.

And pretty please, do not bother messaging me if:

You are racist/homophobic
You call tattoos "tats", or "ink"
You are a "DJ"
You don't have proper dental hygiene.
You are a militant feminist.
You don't appreciate the outdoors.
You own a gun.
You wear a fedora. Sorry. No fedoras.
The smell of patchouli bothers you.
You are pro life.
You don't have a grasp on basic language/mathematics.
You are trying to shove religion up my ass
You are trying to shove various other things up my ass.