I don't know what it takes to find love. I have tried to write something about myself that would give a prospective date a good idea of who I was, but most men just look at the picture. If you would care to read on please do! If not I can't be responsible for the ideas that you get about me based on my picture. It will not tell you anything about me.
I am a complex person that doesn't fit easily into categories but I am straightforward and not interested in gossip or manipulation. In my world there is no simple black and white - everything is nuanced. I always choose kindness over meanness, though I will speak up for myself when necessary. I have a lot of love and passion to share with the right person, but I also have interests of my own and they can be very absorbing. I'm an artist, both visual and musical. Both of my artistic pursuits are more an expression of who I am than an attempt to seek attention. I don't care if I'm ever famous, but am happy if I can touch people on an individual level. I work hard to improve my skills. I am a self-exiled refugee from consumer society. I think cultivating compassion is a more important spiritual goal than eating a particular way.
I need solitude but I also love to socialize with all kinds of people, especially if they are a little odd too. I come from an Irish background. Conversation is the most important thing that you do - and doing it well is important. It doesn't mean arguing and it doesn't mean ranting - it means back and forth respectful but passionate discourse.
I spend a good part of most days alone, I am quite happy that way - but I would prefer to have someone to share my life with. Not every minute - but the important ones. Not superficially - but authentically.
I'm an artist, teacher, singer and run an on-line art supply business. I also do volunteer work because I believe in engaging with my community. I am not even close to 'retired' yet - but I am also working at making space in my life. Sometimes I sing a very constrained form of traditional music and sometimes I sing with an improvisational choir.
Most people see me as strong and dynamic when they first meet me - but I am searching for someone who will look deeper, who won't think less of me when he sees my vulnerable side - but will honour it along with my strength.
I'd like to say a few words about chemistry. I am getting really tired of that word. What I am looking for is someone who is willing to get to know who I am, and build some trust - before expecting to sleep with me. I am no prude and I have a healthy libido - but I don't sleep with strangers! Call me picky! It's not a good way to start a relationship! If you are here to find a real, lasting, satisfying and authentic relationship, I believe that you will understand that. I am not at all old fashioned - quite the contrary - but I am romantic, and I would like there to be a wooing stage ...
Apparently it is necessary for me to spell out that I am looking for a monogamous long-term relationship - not a fling or a short relationship that can easily be tossed away when things get challenging. I am looking for someone who is in it for the long haul. Who understands that compromise and co-operation are more satisfying than simple self-gratification.
I think the thing I look most for in a man is empathy. The ability to be non-judgmental and to treat people with respect and consideration naturally flow from empathy. These would be things I would expect. Even more than a sense of humour - though that would be important, too.
I like biking, walking (especially in the woods) and swimming but am not essentially an active person. Much more of a thinker/contemplative. It would be hard to exaggerate how little I care about sports, but I don't mind of you do. Though I have done a bike trip around France, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Or a hiking trip to New Zealand. I dream of going to Greece and swimming in the phosphorescent sea...or walking the Camino to Santiago ...
I am allergic to cats, most dogs and horses. I get seasick in larger boats but I love to canoe.
If you voted for Harper, or Rob Ford - that might be a deal breaker...
I used to call myself emotionally self sufficient - but that is not entirely true. No one is completely emotionally self-sufficient. If you feel that you are - there is probably someone who is meeting your emotional needs and they are probably unacknowledged. I want to be in an emotionally inter-dependent relationship - where we can trust each other enough to rely on each other. I am looking for a very particular kind of person, and I won't compromise by being with someone just for the sake of it. That's not why I am here. I am not looking to force anyone to be someone they are not - I am looking for someone who fits with me easily, who doesn't need to do emotional jiujitsu to *please* me ...
I am not looking for a relationship - I am looking for a PERSON to have a relationship with.