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42 M Toronto, Ontario, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:14am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Full figured
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats

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My self-summary
**** Putting this at the top of my profile as well as the bottom:
Things have changed a lot! I got married a month ago to an amazing, wonderful person, and we're all caught up in exploring and sharing and putting a life together. But we're both still firmly poly as well, and always open to new connections.****

I'm a fat, cuddly, tattooed, poly playwright who's been through quite a few changes as I came to know myself and what I really need to be happy. At the beginning of last year, I returned to Toronto and rebooted my life; it's been an adventure with some ups and downs, but I definitely feel like I'm in the right place doing what I need to do. Now I'm just smoothing out the rough edges, and of course hoping to find some good people to share with.

Just so the 'poly' above didn't slip by you, because it's definitely one of the most important aspects of who I am - I'm polyamorous. I believe that love is too huge and important and tremendous to be limited to one time and one person, as long as everyone is open and truthful and accepting of that possibility. I have my wonderful wife, of course, and a long-distance partner up in Ottawa, and there are a few other interesting entanglements in my life. (You can find a fuller description of how I feel, and how I came to this aspect of myself, here.)

I'm pretty geeky. I'll happily argue with you about why DS9 was the best Star Trek, explain how Lucasarts back in the day created some of my favourite videogames, or push through the crowds of kids so we can get to new minifigures at the Lego store. I'm addicted to classic monster movies, cartoons of all sorts, and I love that my tablet means I can carry a hundred comic books around with me without straining my backpack. I played D&D for years, I have almost every Jonathan Coulton song memorized, and one of my forearm tattoos has Godzilla worked into the design.

I'm addicted to tattoos, but I'm also pretty broke so I only have five so far. I'm a cat person, but I do like dogs and various other pets. (Loud birds can be a bit much.) I'm a huge (in several ways) foodie, a decent cook, but I can't bake to save my life. Though now I'm wondering in what competition baking might save your life. (Insert Hunger Games reference here, I guess, though I thought those books were only so-so.)

This is already getting a bit wordy. But I write; that's what I do, to the point where I'm a little bit shy face to face because I can't use a keyboard to compose my words.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a day job as an administrator at an engineering firm. (Mostly, I format documents.) It's not too bad, though I spend two to three hours a day on transit.

But what I'm really doing is writing - poetry, fiction, but most particularly plays. I've had my plays produced in a few theatres across the U.S. and Canada, and I'm working hard at expanding that. I'm a part of some really helpful writing groups both online and off for that sort of thing, and I occasionally blog about the whole experience.

Locally, I produce most of my work through Monkeyman Productions, Toronto's geekiest theatre company, where I was a founding member and currently serve as General Manager and Playwright-in Residence.
I’m really good at
Scrambled eggs. Singing to my cats. Passing the time in used bookstores (I am not, however, good at coming out of them with any money left). Quoting Mel Brooks movies. I'm a connosseuir of cartoon pornography. I can follow complicated diagrams without getting lost (usually). My teacher says I read at a fourth grade level.

Oh, and that writing thing. I hope I do that fairly well. There's probably not room in this box to cut and paste a whole play, so here's a poem I was rather proud of:

Love arrives with the fierce unexpectedness
of a sudden summer storm – the sky turns,
the wind picks up, trees and tall buildings quake.
There is no building of momentum, no slow
spattering of raindrops – at once the whole world
is drenched, gutters flood, looking out
through a window is like looking underwater.
And when the lightning comes – no summer storm
ever fell without lighting – it is an exclamation,
one word repeated over and again, loud enough
that you clap hands over ears and tremble: love,
love, love – branches split and wires spark – love.
The first things people usually notice about me
Well, based on what people mention most often ... my eyes, my lips. How quiet I am in social situations (and how different that is from my verbosity online). My tattoos, of course. Probably my physical size, as I'm pretty big (I think, in a cuddly way). Currently, I'm using a cane to favour my bad leg, so that stands out - especially when I trip people with it. ;)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'll detail this more when I'm at home, but thankfully there are websites to reference for at least some of this:

To see my books, check out my Goodreads profile.

To see my music, visit my profile.

Hmm, movies ... if you've ever heard of, or better yet seen, or even better yet been utterly delighted by, Juzo Itami's film Tampopo, I love you already. So, Tampopo, Up, Ponyo, Hot Fuzz ... anything with Vincent Price, almost anything with Bruce Campbell - oh, that reminds me, Bubba-Ho-Tep ... classic Mel Brooks movies (my favourite is actually High Anxiety, which also kind of leads me to mention my penchant for Alfred Hitchcock) ... old monster movies, from kaiju to the Universal Monsters to cheesy 50's giant bug flicks ... oh, and documentaries, particularly Man on Wire - okay, this list could go on and on, but it should be obvious my interests are diverse. :D

And TV ... well, MST3K probably tops the list, and I've been a big fan of The West Wing, Firefly, ST:DS9, British sci-fi and comedies, Dead Like Me, a bajillion cartoons including Futurama, Adventure Time, Freakazoid, The Venture Brothers, Dexter's Laboratory, Samurai Jack, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends ... again, there could be no end to this if I kept it up, but I'll stop there. I'm sure you've seen enough, for better or worse. ;)

I'm pretty wired into popular culture in a lot of ways. Some of this is general geekiness, a lot of it is fuel for my own writing ... but probably more the geekiness.

As for food, I'll start by mentioning that anything involving potatoes makes me happy. And cheese is also good. And I can make almost anything better with cajun seasoning.
The six things I could never do without
This is such an odd question. Do you answer it assuming they mean actual physical objects, or do you assume they mean anything that's important to you? Either way, I think you get enough of a sense of who I am from the rest of my profile to figure this out.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why I have amazing writing ideas when I'm away from my desk, and can't stop scribbling them down, but when I actually sit at my keyboard I'm completely distracted by cartoons and video games and making my Lego Iron Man and Deadpool kiss. Seriously, what's up with that? Luckily, I'm often writing a play that references cartoons and video games, and sometimes even Lego figures, so that helps.

You may be getting the sense from this profile that I'm not interested in politics, or religion, or other weighty topics of conversation. It's not that I don't care, and pay attention as best I can - I'm just rarely the smartest person in the room, so I'd rather listen than speak.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'd like to say, "Doing theatre, or at a friend's show, or working on writing a play." But most Friday nights lately I've been playing RPGs or watching the entire run of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. I should get out more; want to help with that?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've been married (and divorced) twice. It took a long time to sort out what I really need to be happy, and to be good enough to myself to insist on finding that.

Also, I guess it's semi-private that I am kink-friendly. If you want to see my profile on that certain relevant site, let me know.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 27–46
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
You're interested in hanging out, or dating, or cuddling, or meeting my cats. They're pretty awesome cats.

**** Putting this at the top of my profile as well as the bottom:
Things have changed a lot! I got married a month ago to an amazing, wonderful person, and we're all caught up in exploring and sharing and putting a life together. But we're both still firmly poly as well, and always open to new connections.****

OKC seems to match me up a lot with people who have a lot of active, outdoor pursuits, which is awesome and I should be doing more of that sort of stuff - but I should mention that I have a bad leg (currently using a cane) and I can't really do a *lot* of hiking, or wandering, or that sort of thing. Not that some is out of the question, but as much as I want to be more active, it comes at a price.

I'm never quite sure if the messaging is working properly here, so feel free to email me if you'd like -