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31 Shelburne Falls, MA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25-99
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Aug 17
Black, White
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Not at all
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
Has dogs
English (Somewhat), French (Somewhat), Chinese (Somewhat), C++ (Fluently), LISP (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Eli, and I used to work for OkCupid. I've been playing music since I was 7, programming since I was 10, and when I was 20 I had a short-but-helmetless relationship with a telephone pole that ended with most of my face getting bolted back together with titanium plates. All of the pictures you see here are post-reconstruction: the docs did a great job!

I don't set off metal detectors. I don't pick up AM radio stations. I do, however, have screws in my jaw that are quite visible when I pull my lip down.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I sit at the computer and hit the keys as much as I need to in order to make a living.

Also trolling.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a computer geek, so I take well to math and science. I have a knack for fixing and building things. I love mental challenges and puzzles.

Languages fascinate me, but English is the only one with which I'm truly competent. Even still, I put it down as "Poorly" because there's lots of incorrect English that I enjoy. For instance, correct English makes basically no provisions for double modals, and yet "used to could" is still very expressive. I used to would get in trouble in school for writing a sentence like this.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
They wonder why I'm on the right side of their OkCupid, giving them a skeptical stare.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Ishmael, The Design of Everyday Things, most things Vonnegut, Neil Stephenson, Issac Asimov...

I had lots of music listed here, but it was getting excessive. My roommate and I have many many months worth of nonstop music. I usually put that on shuffle or listen to or pandora.

I eat lots of crazy food. I really love spicy stuff. I'm pretty sure it's because I lost my sense of smell. Lately Thai food is what's up. Some of the best Thai food on the planet comes from Holy Basil. I'm pretty sure either Chicken Basil or Pad Thai is my favorite dish ever.

UPDATE: Holy Basil is closed forever! :( :( :(
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The etymology of words, and how English fits together.

I'm fascinated by the age of the phrase, "there's nothing new under the sun."

What all of these people have in common.

Whether the phrase "brutally honest" describes more of an affinity for honesty or a fondness of brutality.

Whether there's still any novelty in running an "adventures in online dating" blog.

Whether this essay is an effective or appropriate platform for passive aggressive judgment.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Looking forward to my typical Saturday morning.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know the difference between "yore" and "Ur."