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writefunnycomics

25 New York, NY Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:34pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black
Height
5′ 0″ (1.53m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and very serious about it
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Status
Single
Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Other (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I officially hate everyone.

I'm not looking for Prince Charming because I think love and feelings are stupid , I have very low expectations because people are disappointing and I hate leaving my house.

I've lost all faith in humanity. I like animals more than people.
What Iโ€™m doing with my life
Donโ€™t overthink this one; tell us what youโ€™re doing day-to-day.
Applying too much eyeliner, being a horrible production assistant, caring too much about imaginary people, writing stupid scripts, writing stupid books, writing stupid short stories, reading and watching horror shit and being unimpressed, and sleeping way too little. ๐Ÿ’‹
Iโ€™m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We wonโ€™t judge.
-Pushing people away.๐Ÿ˜ 
-Eating.๐Ÿ•
-Being awkward๐Ÿ˜ฆ
-Being condescending.๐Ÿ˜’
-Singing the MLP theme song.๐ŸŽค
-Being uncooperative.๐Ÿ˜ˆ
-Quoting The Great Gatsby.๐Ÿ“–
-Catfishing girls.๐Ÿ’ป
-Laughing at inappropriate times.๐Ÿ˜…
-Sexually harassing men in public without getting sued.๐Ÿ˜
-Pissing people off.๐Ÿ˜ค
-Drawing.โœ
-Not texting people back.๐Ÿ“ฒ
-Not calling people back.๐Ÿ“ž
-Watching Regular Show.๐Ÿ“บ
-Telling guys I'm going to rape them on Xbox Live.๐ŸŽฎ
-Writing.๐Ÿ“
-Sarcasm.๐Ÿ˜‘
-Playing the sims?๐ŸŽฎ๐ŸŽฎ
-Going to the gym...?๐Ÿšด
-Being lame.๐Ÿ˜ด
-Singing.๐ŸŽต
-Making lists.๐Ÿ“’
The first things people usually notice about me
Iโ€™m an empty essayโ€ฆ fill me out!
Most of the time I look like a lazy Suicide Girl.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Fuckin books:๐Ÿ“š
My nig Fitzgeraldizzle.
My nig H.P. Lovecrizzle. (We share a birthday.)
Heminwizzle.
Gurskizzle.
Artizzle Spiegizzlemizzle.
Bretizzle Eastonizzle Ellizzle.
Chuckie Palahnizzle.
Kurt Vonnegizzle.
This nig Barry Lyga.
Huberta Selbitchass Junior.
My Bronte bitches.
My lesbo Bechdel.
My nig Night Rainn (Edgar Allan P- dizzle)
That bitch ass Daniel Waters.
Suzanne Collins, my bottom bitch.
I hate when I can't find books I want to read on the internet for free.
Fuck Anne Rice.

Fucking movies:๐ŸŽฅ
Star Wars, Holy Motors, Superbad, Crash, Bridesmaids, Fight Club, Step Brothers, American Psycho, Mysterious Skin, This Is England, Synecdoche New York, This Is The End, Maria Full Of Grace, American History X, We Need To Talk About Kevin, Blackfish, Boys Don't Cry, Monster,Tomboy, Yelling At The Sky, Ichi The Killer, Funny Games, Jennifer's Body, Tropic Thunder, Barton Fink, Muholland Drive, Sunset Boulevard, King Kong, Sullivan's Travels, O Brother Where Art Thou, The Tracy Fragments. All of Darren Aronofsky's films. All of Quentin Tarintino's movies. Most of Christopher Nolan's work and all of Steven McQueen's films... The list is eternal.

Fucking music:๐ŸŽง
Them emo bitches.
Those gangsta bastards.
Indie fags.
Those punk sock cuckers.
Fucking metal.
The classical niggas who started all that shit. RIP Ludwig Van.
Pianos and shit.
Pete Wentz and the niggas who stand behind him.
The fucking Velvet Underground.
THE FUCKING BEATLES. (Same shit)
Panic at the-BrendonUrieisafaggot.
Jazz era shit.
Broads singing from the fifties.
That nigga who killed himself.
Fucking duop.
Gerard Way and the fags.-I MEAN... My Chemical Wahmbulance.

Fucking food:๐Ÿ—๐ŸŸ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿž๐ŸŠ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿง๐Ÿฆ
Yes please.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'd make a list but they're all slices of pizza.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacationโ€ฆ itโ€™s all fair game.
How much I wish I was fucking Andy Biersack.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on โ€” how do you let loose?
Procrastinating, eating pizza, trying to find a party to go to then realizing that I barely have any friends so where the hell would I be able to find a party? Then realizing that I actually HATE parties because social events make me nervous.
tldr: Playing Xbox 360, watching Netflix, smoking cigarettes or writing.
The most private thing Iโ€™m willing to admit
Iโ€™m an empty essayโ€ฆ fill me out!
I'm fat and I don't care. I like eating the same way you probably like talking about sex all the time, fuck you.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Don't. (If you only have one picture you're either a catfish or ancient.)