Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
||Chaotic Good 😈|| Film Major 🎬|| Nerd 👾||
I'm a hyper-conscious nervous wreck who is desperately seeking to
connect with another human being on an existential level. But if
that isn't possible I'll settle for somebody who despises Michael
Bay and Chris Christie.
I've actually decided that I care more about myself than actually
having a boyfriend, a male friend who I demean and sleep with on
the regs is suitable. I never want to get married and I'm probably
adopting if I want kids.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Applying too much eyeliner, being a horrible student, caring too
much about imaginary relationships, writing stupid scripts, taking
pictures like a dork, and sleeping way too little. 💋
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Pushing people away.😠
-Singing the MLP theme song.🎤
-Quoting The Great Gatsby.📖
-Laughing at inappropriate times.😅
-Sexually harassing men in public without getting sued.😏
-Pissing people off.😤
-Not texting people back.📲
-Not calling people back.📞
-Watching Regular Show.📺
-Telling guys I'm going to rape them on Xbox Live.🎮
-Playing the sims?🎮🎮
-Going to the gym...?🚴
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Most of the time I look like a lazy Suicide Girl.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My nig Fitzgeraldizzle.
My nig H.P. Lovecrizzle. (We share a birthday.)
Bretizzle Eastonizzle Ellizzle.
This nig Barry Lyga.
Huberta Selbitchass Junior.
My Bronte bitches.
My lesbo Bechdel.
My nig Night Rainn (Edgar Allan P- dizzle)
That bitch ass Daniel Waters.
Suzanne Collins, my bottom bitch.
I hate when I can't find books I want to read on the internet for
Fuck Anne Rice.
Star Wars, Holy Motors, Superbad, Crash, Bridesmaids, Fight Club,
Step Brothers, American Psycho, Mysterious Skin, This Is England,
Synecdoche New York, This Is The End, Maria Full Of Grace, American
History X, We Need To Talk About Kevin, Blackfish, Boys Don't Cry,
Monster,Tomboy, Yelling At The Sky, Ichi The Killer, Funny Games,
Jennifer's Body, Tropic Thunder, Barton Fink, Muholland Drive,
Sunset Boulevard, King Kong, Sullivan's Travels, O Brother Where
Art Thou, The Tracy Fragments. All of Darren Aronofsky's films. All
of Quentin Tarintino's movies. Most of Christopher Nolan's work and
all of Steven McQueen's films... The list is eternal.
Them emo bitches.
Those gangsta bastards.
Those punk sock cuckers.
The classical niggas who started all that shit. RIP Ludwig
Pianos and shit.
Pete Wentz and the niggas who stand behind him.
The fucking Velvet Underground.
THE FUCKING BEATLES. (Same shit)
Panic at the-BrendonUrieisafaggot.
Jazz era shit.
Broads singing from the fifties.
That nigga who killed himself.
Gerard Way and the fags.-I MEAN... My Chemical Wahmbulance.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much I wish I was fucking Travie McCoy...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Procrastinating, eating pizza, trying to find a party to go to then
realizing that I barely have any friends so where the hell would I
be able to find a party? Then realizing that I actually HATE
parties because social events make me nervous.
tldr: Playing Xbox 360, watching Netflix, smoking cigarettes or
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I care too much about getting my vagina licked.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- Like Star Wars.
- Like The Simpsons almost as much as I do.
- Love Drawn Together (Omg marry me if you do)
- Don't try hard to be funny.
- Watch Thug Notes <3
- Watch CinemaSins.
- Actually know what the fuck "Heart Of Darkness" is, and it's
- Enjoy conversations about film and media in general but
especially if you love comparing themes.
- Don't take my constant slams at the male gender seriously.
(Because it's supposed to be a joke, not because you're a sexist
- Don't mind a girl who doesn't really care about commitment right
- Are understanding of mental illness and are supportive instead of
self centered and closed minded.
- Believe that sex and relationships are a two way street so both
parties must invest in some way to make it enjoyable for
- Actually interested in politics and having conversations about
- Actually enjoy deep conversations and not just vapid tripe.
- Searching for some deeper meaning in life than earning money and
having sex, I mean there's gotta be more to life right?
- Like the: Packers, Patriots, Seahawks, Ravens, Steelers.
- Hate the fucking Jets. Ugh.
- You KNOW that Battle Royale and Hunger Games are both rip offs of
- You like dry humor.
- You were sorted into Slytherin on Pottermore
- You wouldn't mind a date to Forbidden Planet.
Please don't message if:
- You think you have to TEACH me how to play Xbox, like jump off a
- You hate: Captain America (MOVE YOU COMMIE), Thor (JUST FUCK YOU)
Magneto (OMG HE SURVIVED THE HOLOCAUST YOU HEARTLESS FUCK)
- You're a fucking Giants fan, gross.
- You think Harry would've gotten through the series without
Hermione and Ron like come on, Harry was a moron.
- You think Katniss' PSTD isn't downplayed in the movies.
- You don't live within the tristate area.
- Seriously? We're a post-racism society? Seriously?
- Seriously? We don't need feminism, seriously?
- Seriously? You think feminism and humanism are two different
I'm not saying I want you to die, I just would prefer if you
existed somewhere that isn't around me.
If you don't fall into any of that criteria we can talk :3 Hi! I
hope you're having a nice day.
P.S. If you look like or even remotely remind me of Andy Biersack I
will screw you until you cum dust.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.