My name is Mike and I'm a little bit of everything, with "writer" and "geek" being those segments of my personal makeup worthy enough to have made it into my username.

I identify as a geek, yet am still normal enough to operate in public. I write, but also read and stare at the magic picture box on occasion. My interests range from writing to Homestar Runner to urban exploring to a deep fascination with 1980s and 1990s pop culture. Needless to say, I'm always looking for new interests, assuming they aren't sports- or country-music-related.

I'm filling out an okcupid profile at the moment.

(HAR!)

I am employed full-time. The time I have that is not spent working or sleeping is spent exploring the city, visiting New York, cringing at typographical and grammatical errors, hanging out with friends, engrossing myself in movies or books, or writing for pleasure.

making people laugh (and not only in bed). I've been told that I have a way with the written word. Plus, I can whip up a mean pasta dish...with Chef Boyardee's help, of course.

I'm in their way.

BOOKS: Anything that is a collection of humorous non-fiction essays (quite the specific genre, yes). Biographies and certain graphic novels rank up there as well. Favorite authors include Dave Barry, Wil Wheaton, Sloane Crosley, Chelsea Handler, George Carlin, Chuck Klosterman, and Laurie Notaro

MOVIES: My 600-strong (and counting) DVD collection is quite diverse, with comedy, horror, and independent fare being the most represented. My favorite movie of all time has to be "Ghost World." Interestingly, while never reading the source material or watching the associated cartoons as a child, I love the majority of films based off of comic books. Obscure or forgotten movies ("Nothing But Trouble," anyone? How about "Return to Oz?") are also among my titles of choice.

SHOWS: Many of my favorite shows have since been cancelled (R.I.P. "&$@! My Dad Says"). Those I enjoy that currently still show first-run episodes include "South Park," "The Big Bang Theory," and "Family Guy." I am also happy for syndicated episodes of "The Simpsons" (which was canceled after season 10 as far as I am concerned), "Seinfeld," and "Married...with Children." I long for the days of the standard 3-camera sitcom and a Bob-Barker-hosted "Price is Right."

MUSIC: I never really let music define me growing up. I must have been the only guy at school who didn't carry around a Walkman (which was a 1990s version of an mp3 player, for you younger folks). My musical tastes are just as diverse as my cinematic ones, with really ridiculous genres, like movie and video game soundtracks, being counted in the list.

FOOD: Bacon is of course the king of foods. Ramen is pretty high up there as well. I am a carnivore and hate anything and everything that is a vegetable or fruit. Such foods must be extremely processed for me to enjoy them (and we're talking "Hawaiian Punch" kind of processed). My motto is "I don't like to eat what grew out of the ground; I like to eat what stood on top of it."

While the listed movies, books, shows, music, and food naturally satisfy those particular aspects of my life, be advised that they are not my WHOLE life. I have an active life away from the TV set/bookcase/computer/table. Just ask! Or suggest!

Friends, family, money, air, bacon and other such commonalities aside...

1. My beloved Droid. For those of you unaware, a Droid is like an iPhone, only with dignity.

2. My even more beloved laptop.

3. The company of unique people.

4. A close proximity to New York City

5. Humor. Seriously, it diffuses all situations and is a key component of my makeup.

6. My writing ability and overall intellect. I'm not stuck-up when it comes to intelligence but I am nevertheless proud of my smarts. If I was one of the common Facebook mouth-breathers who obediently liked everything in popular culture and formed my opinions based on what talking heads/celebrities told me, I'd kill myself.

how exactly the aliens will visit us.

on a date with you. Hopefully.

I own six-foot-tall animatronic likenesses of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees

--You can form complete sentences (or at least fake it well)
--You have a great sense of humor
--You are moderately or extremely attractive in the physical sense (let's not kid ourselves; like you, I too was born with eyes and nerve endings)
--You live in the city of Philadelphia
--You think it would be AWESOME to have Johnny 5 from "Short Circuit" be the one who joins two people together in marriage
--You liked what you read in my profile
--You are childfree
--You wish to suggest any edits to my profile

Above all, I simply ask that you be honest. Don't like me? Simply say so.