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25 M Philadelphia, PA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of space camp
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), Sanskrit (Fluently), Esperanto (Okay), Sign Language (Okay), Other (Okay)

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My self-summary
Badass bitch, I'm rated X.

My hobbies include: getting sleepy, lying down, crushing things on my forehead, keeping my eyes closed for upwards of 7 seconds, yelling at the tv, crying at the tv, and eating spectres.
What I’m doing with my life
Chopping dongs. Hiya!

Sometimes I slap dongs but that is rare.

People keep telling me I can't talk to ducks but I can and I do.
I’m really good at
Video game tapes, animating robots fucking up ghosts, making people laugh with minimal bloodshed, biking to the post office with a big box (not too big), Adobe InDesign, getting the rebate on my cell phone, waiting for the singularity, dong chopping, writing comics?
The first things people usually notice about me
They frequently urge me to slam/jam.

Someone told me I look half japanese. Thank you but I don't know what the fuck.

Someone else remembered me as a redhead and didn't understand how my hair got so dark.

A professor (and police detective) told me I have very inquisitive eyes.

My uncle forgot I wear glasses. My dad forgot I don't have a beard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Snow Crash, Catch 22, Life of Pi, A Confederacy of Dunces

Movies: Scott Pilgrim, Mindgame, The Life Aquatic, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Napoleon Dynamite, Avengers

TV: The Daily Show, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Flight of the Conchords, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Burning Love, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, Space Ghost, Harvey Birdman, Kenny vs. Spenny, Curb Your Enthusiasm, One Piece, Gurren Lagann, Code Geass, Fairy Tail, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Fooly Cooly, Sexy Commando, Gintama

Music: Andrew Bird, Annuals, Arcade Fire, The Black Keys, Born Ruffians, Bob Dylan, Brother Ali, Buck 65, The Decemberists, Dr. Dog, Fleet Foxes, Frank Zappa, Islands, Led Zeppelin, Maps & Atlases, MF Doom, Modest Mouse, Mother Mother, The New Pornographers, Nirvana, Phoenix, The Pixies, Portugal. The Man, Spiral Beach, Sleigh Bells, Spoon, The Strokes, Tapes 'n Tapes, The Ting Tings, The White Stripes, Wilco, Yukon Blonde

Podcats: Uhh Yeah Dude, You Look Nice Today, The Pod F. Tompkast, Penny Arcade DLC, Radiolab

Games: Super Smash Bros., Metal Gear Solid, Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Galaxy, Shadow of the Colossus, Oblivion, Dark Souls, Dragon Age, Half Life 2, Bioshock, Mass Effect, No More Heroes, Fallout 3, Persona 3

Webcomics: Penny Arcade, Achewood, Dinosaur Comics, Pictures for Sad Children, Nedroid, Axe Cop

Food: pasta, white pizza, cheeseburgers, omelettes, crepes, Chinese, Mexican, fruity ice cream, challah
The six things I could never do without
Pixels (NOT voxels)

Music (yodel-horror)

Technology aka electronic checkers or robots

Sentient beings aka dogs or robots

Miscellaneous objects (assorted)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Surreal perversion

Top secret government shit

How many drones I can afford not to buy, now that they've become commercially affordable. Probably like 3.
On a typical Friday night I am
Getting hit by a car.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I answered all the questions. They were like Pringles in that I could not stop once popped.

A little girl scared the shit out of me in the supermarket. She then apologized.

I'm cool B-)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you want to kick your life up a notch. Woo! (woo) (aka watching me insert whole oreos into my mouth)

you're not my bitch of an ex-wife.

you're willing to explain why you wouldn't have messaged me if not for this statement. I'm genuinely curious as to which thing I do that people don't like is the thing that you don't like, and you can't hurt my feelings because my spirit animal is iron man (unless you try really hard). Also message me if solely this paragraph convinced you to not message me because that would be craaazy. I will reward participants with a cool emoticon.

you feel that your life needs more vidja gams and/or paws and/or slight discomfort.

If you read this far without clicking the little x then you might benefit in some way, so do it.