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25 M Philadelphia, PA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:32pm
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
**Prepare yourselves for a serious disclaimer: I'm in an open relationship so hopefully you left your hang-ups at the door.**

I kicked the doctor in the face when he birthed me. "Fuck you," I said to the doctor.

My childhood was mostly spent opening doors and then closing them in an alternating fashion.

Now I live in a house under renovations.

My hobbies include: getting sleepy, lying down, crushing things on my forehead, keeping my eyes closed for upwards of 7 seconds, yelling at the tv, crying at the tv, and eating spectres.
What I’m doing with my life
Chopping dongs. Hiya!

Sometimes I slap dongs but that is rare.
I’m really good at
Video game tapes, creating 3D animations of robots fucking up ghosts hardcore, making people laugh coercibly, biking to the post office with a big box (not too big), getting the rebate on my cell phone, waiting for the singularity, dong chopping, writing comics?
The first things people usually notice about me
They frequently urge me to slam/jam.

Someone told me I look half japanese. Thank you but I don't know what the fuck.

Someone else remembered me as a redhead and didn't understand how my hair got so dark.

A professor (and police detective) told me I have very inquisitive eyes.

My uncle forgot I wear glasses. My dad forgot I don't have a beard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Snow Crash, Catch 22, Life of Pi, A Confederacy of Dunces

Movies: Scott Pilgrim, Mindgame, The Life Aquatic, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Napoleon Dynamite, Iron Mr.

TV: The Daily Show, Flight of the Conchords, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Burning Love, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, Space Ghost, Harvey Birdman, Kenny vs. Spenny, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Throney Games

One Piece, Gurren Lagann, Code Geass, Fairy Tail, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, Fooly Cooly, Sexy Commando, Gintama

Music: Andrew Bird, Annuals, Arcade Fire, The Black Keys, Born Ruffians, Bob Dylan, Brother Ali, Buck 65, The Decemberists, Dr. Dog, Fleet Foxes, Frank Zappa, Islands, Led Zeppelin, Maps & Atlases, MF Doom, Modest Mouse, Mother Mother, The New Pornographers, Nirvana, Phoenix, The Pixies, Portugal. The Man, Spiral Beach, Sleigh Bells, Spoon, The Strokes, Tapes 'n Tapes, The Ting Tings, The White Stripes, Wilco, Yukon Blonde

Podcats: Uhh Yeah Dude, You Look Nice Today, The Pod F. Tompkast, Penny Arcade DLC, Radiolab

Games (or series): Super Smash Bros., Metal Gear Solid, Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Galaxy, Shadow of the Colossus, Oblivion, Dark Souls, Dragon Age, Half Life 2, Bioshock, Mass Effect, No More Heroes, Fallout 3, Persona 3

Webcomics: Penny Arcade, Achewood, Dinosaur Comics, Pictures for Sad Children, Nedroid, Axe Cop

Food: pasta, white pizza, cheeseburgers, omelettes, crepes, Chinese, Mexican, ice cream if it's fruit flavored, challah
The six things I could never do without
Digimal medias

Music (yodel-horror)

Technology aka electronic checkers or robots


Sentient beings aka dogs or robots

Miscellaneous objects (assorted)
On a typical Friday night I am
Typical Friday night??? Prompt, you mock me by suggesting there is any such thing! (alone, weeping, playing video games in the dark.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I answered all the questions. They were like Pringles in that I could not stop once popped.

A little girl scared the shit out of me in the supermarket. She then apologized.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
you want to kick your life up a notch. Woo! (woo) (aka watching me insert whole oreos into my mouth)

you're not my bitch of an ex-wife.

If you read this far without clicking the little x then you might enjoy me, so do it.