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40 F Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:11am
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
AUGUST 2014: Thank you, OKC Algorithm Fairies!
I am currently smitten and seeing where this new relationship takes me. This adventure has sparked many conversations about online dating, so I am leaving up my profile so friends can see it. Enjoy + well wishes.

Me: intelligent, confident, clear communicator, great listener, emotionally and financially stable who doesn't have or want kids.
You: curious, quirky, kind, thoughtful, clear communicator, great listener, kidless (or grown kids), non-smoker, no drugs, cat-compatible.
Us: _______?

Love to learn + laugh. Got a great life, looking for a kind, cuddly, smart mister to share it with. I believe two people build their relationship together, and there's so many shapes that can take. I am on OKC looking for, if the chemistry and circumstances are right, a long-term partner (monogamous or monogamish, depending on what works for us).

I love to travel, and adore Chicago. Good to go away, good to come home. Love wandering cities, seeking out oddball museums, people watching. In 2012, I bought my dream home and am blissfully nesting. Not opposed to LDRs, but not looking for that long term or moving from Chicago.

Watch tons of movies and would be very happy to find a fella who liked curling up on the couch to watch a flick. Favorite genres: spy, heist, thrillers, dramas, foreign. Not into animation, anime or horror.

Also love art, museums and theater. You don't have to an aesthete like me. If our tastes align, it's a bonus.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've got a lot of things figured out for myself, but I'm still always learning, growing. This Winter was chock full of crisis, discovery, humor, pain, camaraderie. And I'm 10x better for it.

I grew up in shitty circumstances, but I have worked hard to process my past. Now my emotional baggage can fit under the seat in front of me. I do not truck with mind games or high drama. You don't need to be perfect. I am delightfully imperfect. I do seek someone mature, self aware, honest, open and always looking to improve his life. I value someone who will be supportive *and* call me out on my occasional bullshit.

I work for myself doing something I absolutely love and am really good at. I work in a creative field + am a total entrepreneur at heart. Not a 9-to-5'er, so someone with similarly flexible schedule is a plus.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
drawing, thinking, listening, learning, explaining things, thinking on my feet, problem solving, cuddling, talking, making stuff.

And being direct. I think my assertiveness gets confused for rigidity, judgement or bossiness. I'm actually one of the most adaptable and accepting people you'll meet. I just know my own mind. I hope you do too.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Many friends admit later that I first intimidated them because I'm pretty darn bold and confident. Unfortunately, dating makes me nervous, so you likely won't get me at 100% right away. Maybe that's a good thing?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I love to learn, but I'm much more of a hands-on learner than a book learner. I nearly never read fiction. My favorite book is Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder by Lawrence Weschler. I am an avid library patron always perusing non-fiction books on whatever my brain is buzzing on.

Movies: I am huge movie fan. I love heist movies, Bond movies. My two favorite movies ever are Harold & Maude and Juliet of the Spirits. I dig Soderbergh, Kubrick, Cholodenko, Herzog, Altman, Ashby, Greenaway, Fincher, Wes Anderson. I love nearly all movies, except horror and animation.

Television: Mad Men, Sherlock, Downton Abbey, House, Law & Order (mothership + CI, can't hack SVU), The Americans, Fargo, Charlie Rose.

Music: I'm rusty on music. The last new band I really got into was The White Stripes. Nearly hung a poster over my bed. Generally, I default to the stuff I grew up with: America, Little River Band, Cat Stevens, Harry Nilsson. Turn on an oldies station and I am a happy camper. I am an unapologetic, unironic fan of Tom Jones. That man has pipes!

Food: *sigh* I appreciate good food, but I hate having to think about it 3x day. I want to live in the future where we eat pills instead. I *am* a good cook, and wish I got more joy from cooking. I love sushi, Thai, Korean, Ethiopian. I'm gluten free which is a pain in the ass, but I feel tons better. Honestly, I'd be thrilled to find a man who loved to cook and wanted to feed me healthy food.

I like it when I've seen others add -
Art: Most interested in 20th c. Matthew Barney, Lee Bontecou, Louise Bourgeois, Joseph Cornell, Duchamp, Picasso, Rothko, H. C. Westermann. I love Fluxus. Abstract Expressionists excite me, Impressionists make me snooze.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Sense of purpose
2. Work I love
3. Fascinating, supportive friends
4. Comfortable home
5. Emotional, mental, physical health
6. A sex partner who'll stimulate both my mind and body.

I'm a lucky sonuvabitch who has the first 5. I'm here looking for the 6th. I've lived pretty happily half my adult life without #6. I have a lot of contentment and joy from the others, making me settle for nothing less on the last.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to help people make positive change. Importance of being a citizen over being a consumer. My own business strategy. Possibilities. Seeing the connections between people. Patterns.

And how to navigate online dating. I am trying to seeing as part of The Great Experiment. But, boy howdy, it is hard to take.

Also, with 80%+ men on OKC saying they are laid back/easy going/down to earth, where's the dating site for other intense people like me?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm in making art, making something. I don't tend to go out on the normal go out night. I've got a great social circle, and have always preferred one-on-one or small talky gatherings over parties, bars, clubs. I'm pretty darn sensitive to smoke and noise, so I love quieter, unpolluted places.

Possible dates: Seeing non-blockbuster movies, inventive theater show, burlesque show, bowling, mini golf, boat tour, museum, talking over coffee, a well-crafted cocktail or a good meal (a good hole in the wall preferred over white tablecloths).

I really enjoy getting to know folks, so anything friendly to conversation is good. I'll ask a lot of questions - so let me know if I make you feel like you're on a job interview! Not my intention. Just the result of my love of conversation. And by conversation, I mean a great give-and-take, we're both listening, contributing, building rapport.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
1) You can easily see from my pictures I'm a big gal. People make a lot of (wrong) assumptions about me and my weight. I have a very positive body image. I love being naked, touching, cuddling, having sex. Of course, if you're fatphobic, move on by.

2) I live pretty blissfully without news. I hate the fear-based media machine. And I think that many people would be better off spending the time and energy they spend talking politics actually making positive change. So if you care about what the latest senator or celebrity did, I'm not going to be good at carrying on a conversation about it.

3) I love genderbending, very pro-LGBTQ issues, attracted to men who aren't on the far end of the macho spectrum. While plenty of people think I'm of the lesbian persuasion, I am most definitely a straight woman. Would happily date bi guys. If you dig non-heteronormative-ness too, let me know.

And with 3 things listed here, I am more open than the average bear.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 35–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You show me the respect of writing full sentences. "Wassup? How r u?" immediately gets deleted. See also: generic messages that could be copied and pasted to any/everyone.

You are in Chicago proper. I am suburb-phobic and don't drive.

You're seeking a long-term, grown up partnership. If we don't spark, AOK OKC. Looking for willing candidates, not the half-hearted.

You're keen to meet a smart, kind, open-hearted, direct woman who'll be clear on what works and doesn't work for her. I'm hoping for the same. Nothing sexier to me than a man who knows himself, quirks and all, and is willing to share.

Bonus points if you love any of the following: animals, beets, being on/near water, bizarre roadside attractions, brussel sprouts, karaoke, laughing til you snort, laying on the floor listening to music (if you have LPs, _awesome_), holding hands, pho, spooning, train rides, sitting quietly together, world's fairs.